


The Gunsmith

by Pixelatrix



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Adoption, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Family, Humor, Love, M/M, Romance, Slightly Straying from Canon, eventually
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-27
Updated: 2015-06-27
Packaged: 2018-01-13 22:16:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 43
Words: 53,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1242583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pixelatrix/pseuds/Pixelatrix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Young Harlow Shepard suddenly becomes an orphan at the age of eight only to be adopted by her godfathers.  </p><p>"If you’re receiving this message then Hannah and I are both dead. We had this scheduled to be sent to you by our attorney. You can message him directly if you don’t believe it. We changed our wills recently so that you and Steven would be listed as Harlow’s guardians. She loves her Uncle Steven and Uncle Z. You better take care of my little girl."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Beta: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929

In the five years that Hackett had been married to Zaeed, the two men had argued over everything from coffee to how to do the laundry. It was perhaps a sign of the fact that life had settled down after the First Contact war. They’d known each other since before boot camp.

Along with Ezra Shepard, they had earned high recommendations for themselves during the war. Ezra had married his college sweetheart after the war. He and Hannah had been the witnesses for Hackett and Zaeed’s own wedding. None of them had wanted to make a circus out of any of it.

Ezra had been honorably discharged with a serious injury to his back. He’d moved to a little town in the country outside of Quebec. Hannah’s parents were from there originally and owned a clothing store in town. The two had taken it over from them. Their little girl, Harlow, had turned six years old a few days ago.

The past six months had been rough for Zaeed and Steven. They were fighting over the fact that Zaeed was _bored._ He wanted to get involved in something more profitable and more exciting. Vido Santiago had been sniffing around. It was _where_ the trouble started.

Now they were barely speaking to each other. He’d woken up to find Zaeed packing his bags. No matter what he did, he couldn’t seem to find the right words to make him stay.

“Zaeed.”

“ _Steven._ ” He hesitated by the front door with his bags in hand. “I’m leaving.”

“You can’t trust Vido Santiago.” Hackett had been arguing with his husband for the last three weeks about his desire to start a mercenary group with Vido. “I can’t support this.”

“Fine, then don’t bloody support it. You could’ve fucking supported your goddamn husband.” Zaeed left his wedding ring on the table by the door and stormed out without another word.

“Damn it.” Hackett slammed his fist into a nearby picture frame.

* * *

 

_Two years later._

* * *

 

_From: Elton James_

_To: Admiral Steven Hackett_

_Subj: Harlow Rilla Shepard._

_Dear Admiral Hackett,_

_You were listed in the will of Ezra and Hannah Shepard as one of two potential guardians for Harlow should anything happen to them._

_I regret to inform you that Mr. & Mrs. Shepard were involved in a tragic skycar accident last week. Harlow was in the vehicle as well. She suffered a concussion and is currently at one of the local hospitals. She has been informed of her parents death._

_Zaeed Massani, who I believe is your husband, is the other named guardian._

_Could either you or your husband contact me as soon as possible with regards to Harlow?_

_She will be placed by child services in either an orphanage or foster care, if available, until you are able to pick her up._

_Sincerely,_

_Elton James_

_Director of Child Services_

* * *

 

Harlow had grown since he’d seen her last. She still had a mess of curly, reddish-brown hair. Her face was still covered in freckles. There was a long angry scar on her chin that was new. It was probably from the accident.

Her usually bright brown eyes were sad, sadder than an eight year old’s should ever be. She was alone in the playground behind the orphanage. The director had told her that Harlow preferred to be by herself. She played alone.

Her purple sweater had been abandoned on the ground. She sat on a swing that was shifting from side to side. Her jeans and striped t-shirt were dusty. Her purple sneakers had scuff marks all over them. She was digging her toes into the dirt as she twisted around on the swing.

“Harlow?”

“Uncle Steven.” Harlow launched out of the swing to race over to him. He caught her up into his arms. “Where’s Uncle Z?”

Hackett put off answering by setting her down and walking over to pick up her sweater. “He’s…”

“Did you have a fight?” Harlow played with a pair of rings on a necklace around her neck. “You should say sorry. Uncle Z loves you.”

Hackett pulled the little girl into another hug. “I know, poppet.”

She slid her little hand into his once he’d set her back on the ground. “I told them that you wouldn’t forget me.”

“I…”

“It’s ok.” She patted his hand. “I know Mommy and Daddy aren’t coming home. Can I stay with you? The orphanage is nice but I don’t like sharing a room. The kids are noisy.”

“I’m so sorry about your parents.” He started to lead her back to the big house.

“Yea.”

“Do you…” Hackett crouched in front of her. He lifted her chin so she was looking him in the eyes. He wanted her to feel like she had choices. “Is there anyone here that you would rather stay with?”

“You don’t want me.” Her lower lip trembled a little and her eyes started to fill with tears.

“Of course, I want you.” He cursed his own stupidity. She was a little eight year old who’d lost her parents. “I don’t want you to feel like I’m taking you away from your friends.”

“I don’t have a lot of friends,” she shrugged.

“Why is that?”

“They think I’m weird.” Harlow’s fingers twisted together and she stopped meeting his eyes. “I draw things…design stuff. The other kids want to play with dolls. Dolls are stupid.”

“So…no dolls.”

“No.” She glanced back up at him. “Can I live with you and Uncle Z?”

“I…” Hackett still didn’t know how to explain that part of it.” Uncle Z isn’t staying with me at the moment but you can definitely come live with me.”

“Good.” Harlow took his hand again and refused to let go of it. “Good.”

“Ok, Poppet.” Let’s get you _home_.” Hackett squeezed her hand gently.

He suddenly missed his husband even more. The apartment on Arcturus was lonely with him. They’d always talked about adopting a child. And now he had one but no Zaeed to share the experience with.

* * *

 

_From: Ezra Shepard_

_To: Zaeed Massani_

_Subj: You are an idiot._

_If you’re receiving this message then Hannah and I are both dead. We had this scheduled to be sent to you by our attorney. You can message him directly if you don’t believe it._

_We changed our wills recently so that you and Steven would be listed as Harlow’s guardians. She loves her Uncle Steven and Uncle Z. You better take care of my little girl._

_Stop being such a miserable bastard and go home. Your husband misses you. He loves you. He’s never moved on. Most people would after their husband walked out on them and never bothered to call. He’s been alone._

_I don’t know why you never talk to any of us anymore. What’s more important than friends and family? If I’m dead, I can tell you for certain that nothing is more important._

_I’m dead and so is my lovely wife. Your husband is going to need your help._

_Go home._

_Do not disappoint me or I will haunt you from the damn grave._

_And don’t forget that the reason I left the Alliance was a bullet that I took for your stubborn ass._

_Ezra_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ezra Shepard: http://pixelatrix.tumblr.com/post/77928205317
> 
> Hannah Shepard: http://pixelatrix.tumblr.com/post/77928583627/beautyofgreeks-greek-beauty-from-antiquity


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments & Subs & Bookmarks & Kudos. It's like coffee and chocolate all rolled into one. =)
> 
> Seriously, thank you. You guys make my day when you leave comments and stuff.
> 
> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Shout to to my Betas and brain storming wonders: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929

_From: Karin Chakwas_

_To: Steven Hackett_

_Subj: My Volunteer Work._

_I assume that you know that I’ve been doing volunteer work in some of the smaller communities on Earth during my vacation._

_We had a gentleman who was brought into the clinic in critical condition. His face was all but partially destroyed by a bullet wound._

_He is still in intensive care. His vitals aren’t strong and he doesn’t seem to believe that he has a reason to live. His name is Zaeed Massani and he still wears the wedding ring that you placed on his finger._

_The only thing that Zaeed managed to say while he was briefly conscious was your name. We would transfer him to a better equipped hospital but he isn’t stable enough to move yet._

_I expect to see you and your little Poppet by the end of the week. Your husband needs a reason to live so you better come and give him one._

_Karin_

* * *

 

Karin Chakwas was a devious woman that Hackett would need to remind himself not to cross. She’d sent a second message, though with fewer details, to Harlow who _immediately_ wanted to go see her ‘Uncle Z.’ She hadn’t stopped asking about him for two years.

Deciding to cave in to the inevitable, Hackett packed a bag for himself. He headed into Harlow’s room to find her struggling to cram way too much into her backpack. He told her to pack for a couple of days, not the next century.   He placed a few jeans and t-shirts into her bag, a sweater and the large journal that she took everywhere with her.

The little Poppet spent most of the trip from Arcturus to Earth investigating the ship. They’d taken a ride on an Alliance vessel. Harlow thoroughly inspected the armory and engine room in particular. She was worn out by the time that they finally arrived at the hospital.

“I’ll take her,” Karin offered. “There’s an empty room down the hall. I’ll sit with her while she naps.”

He nodded and followed her to the room to set Harlow on the bed. He left their bags on the floor beside it. Karin gave him the room in the ICU where Zaeed was under observation. His feet felt like they were made of lead by the time that his hand was resting on the correct door.

With a careful drawn breath, Hackett stepped inside to find Zaeed stretched out on the hospital bed. He was hooked up to a number of machines that were monitoring him. Hackett’s knees started to go and he dropped heavily into the nearest chair. He shuffled it over closer to his husband who he’d never seen so damn pale.

He lifted a limp hand to look at the wedding band on Zaeed’s ring finger. He twisted it around. He was about to set the hand back under the covers when it tightened around his own hand. Karin had warned him that Zaeed was more frequently awake as they were easing him off of the medication that had kept him under sedation.

“Steven?” His voice was a dry, horse whisper. “I’m a goddamn fool and I’m losing my mind.”

“Yes,” Hackett answered simply. “But you aren’t hallucinating.”

“I’m so bloody sorry.” His fingers gripped Hackett’s painfully. “I love you.”

“It only took you how many years to remember that?” Hackett couldn’t keep the slight bitter tone out of his voice.

“I’m too goddamn late.” His hand fell back to the bed.

“Harlow has missed her Uncle Z.” Hackett watched as Zaeed tried to keep the emotion off of his face. “It’s _never_ too late, Zaeed. _Never_.”

“I should’ve come home,” Zaeed admitted. He sounded exhausted, like he was about to drop back off at any moment. “Too fucking proud to do it.”

“I should’ve gone after you.” Hackett had gotten over most of his anger a whle ago.

He had watched Harlow learn how to deal with her grief. It had forced him to think about how short life really was. A day hadn’t gone by without him keenly feeling the absence of Zaeed in his life. He’d wished so many times for another opportunity to have that conversation the day that his husband had left him.

“We…”

“ _Uncle Z!”_ Harlow dashed into the room. She slid to a stop by Hackett when she caught his frown. “Sorry.”

“Poppet.” Zaeed winced as he tried to sit up to see her.

Hackett immediately shot up out of his chair to help him. It put their faces close to each other, too close. It was a terrible idea but his mind didn’t seem to give a damn. Hackett closed the distance to kiss his husband for the first time in five years. He pulled back when quiet giggles caught their attention.

“Impudent Poppet.” Hackett’s reprimand didn’t seem to faze her at all. He lifted her up to set her carefully on the bed. “Do _not_ jump on or around him.”

Harlow wrinkled her nose at him. “I’m not stupid.”

“How’s my little gunsmith doing?” Zaeed shifted on the bed again so his good eye could see her better.

“I got one of the marines on the ship to show me the inside of his shotgun. It was _awesome._ ” Harlow had from a very early age been fascinated by the inner workings of weapons.

Ezra had found her taking apart one of his old rifles when she was five.  She had been inspecting all of the different parts. She wanted to know how each of them went together. No matter how hard they tried, she wouldn’t be deterred from her interest.

She’d tested off of the charts when they’d taken her to school. A gifted kid, no doubt, but Harlow’s focus was almost always on weapons. It hadn’t really helped her make friends at her school at home or on Arcturus.

“Uncle Steven?”

Hackett looked up to find Harlow trying to get his attention. Zaeed had fallen asleep, still worn out and partially sedated. He lifted her back down and took her hand to lead her out of the room. She didn’t want to go, neither did he for that matter.

“Are we going to take him home with us?” She glanced over her shoulder at the man on the bed. “You won’t be so sad if we do.”

“ _Poppet._ ”

“Why do you always disapprove when I tell you the truth?” Harlow asked.

“You are too damn smart for your own good.” He tickled her sides and sank down into the seat by Zaeed again. He lifted her up into his lap. “It’s not simple, Harlow.”

“It should be.”

“True.”

“Uncle Z. knows about guns. I can ask him loads of questions.” Harlow seemed to find that the most important part. “And you still love him.”

“ _Poppet_.”

“Yes, Uncle Steven.” She leaned her head tiredly against his shoulder.

He pushed a stray red curl out of his face. “I’ll think about it.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments & Subs & Bookmarks & Kudos. It's like coffee and chocolate all rolled into one. =)
> 
> Seriously, thank you. You guys make my day when you leave comments and stuff.
> 
> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Shout to to my Betas and brain storming wonders: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929

Zaeed was sitting up in bed for the first time in days. He was chatting with Harlow about Jessie. They were having a serious conversation about guns having souls and how she should _always_ respect any weapon that she was working on.

_Not that she was allowed to work on any weapon without him or Uncle Steven present._

“Yea.” Harlow was sitting cross-legged on the edge of the hospital bed. Her sketchbook was open in her lap. She’d shown him a few of her new drawings but was now flipping the corner of the pages with her fingers. “Uncle Z?”

He was instantly wary as he waited for her to continue. Harlow never asked the easy questions. “What is it, Poppet?”

“If you love Uncle Steven so much, why’d you go away for so long?” Harlow bent over her journal to avoid his eyes. “Daddy used to bring Mommy chocolate when he made her sad. I can get some from the shop by Doctor Chakwas’ office. They have the good stuff. You can give it to Uncle Steven.”

He reached out to ruffle her auburn hair. “I’m not sure that’s going to work.”

“But why not?”

“I dunno, Poppet.” He didn’t know if he deserved to be forgiven. He’d destroyed his marriage and ‘sorry’ wasn’t enough to make it right. “This is bigger than chocolate.”

“Really?” Her eyes went wide. “Daddy bought Mommy a necklace once when he forgot her birthday.”

“Not helpful.” Zaeed tugged on one of her curls. “I made a really big mistake and I don’t know if Uncle Steven should forgive me yet.”

“He should.” Harlow pulled out her own necklace from her shirt to show him her parents’ wedding rings. “Do you still love him?”

“More than goddamn life,” Zaeed said emphatically. He leaned forward to whisper loudly. “Don’t tell him that I said a bad word.”

“I won’t,” she giggled. “You should give him chocolate.”

“Maybe.”

She frowned up at him and he tried to distract her with a story. She listened to it with interest but then started making more suggestions for ways that he could make it up to Uncle Steven. He didn’t know how to help her understand that it just wasn’t that simple.

He was almost tempted to let Harlow go get the chocolate. It would give her something to do and it couldn’t hurt. Hackett did have a sweet tooth. She wanted to fix them, and knowing the Poppet, she wasn’t going to let it go easily. He shook his head at her suggestions.

“But why not?” Harlow persisted in a way that only a ten year old could.

With an exaggerated groan, Zaeed finally told her that sometimes adults mess up really badly. So badly that it isn’t always possible to ‘fix it.’ Yes, he did love Uncle Steven very, very much. It might not be enough to make up for how much he had hurt him.

“Uncle Steven loves you,” Harlow said with childish confidence. “If you say sorry, he’ll forgive you. He forgave me for spilling hot chocolate all over the bed.”

“She’s right.” Hackett stepped into the room.

Harlow hopped off of the bed. She handed her journal to Zaeed for safe keeping. She ran past Hackett and said that she’d be right _back._ He had a feeling that she was going to get chocolate. He waved Hackett closer.

“Poor little Poppet.”

“I suppose that I should tell you that I forgive you…if you’ll forgive me.” Hackett perched on the edge of the bed. He intertwined his fingers with Zaeed. “Come home. She needs both of us and I _desperately_ need you.”

Harlow dashed into the room ten minutes later to find the two me kissing. “Ew. Gross. Can I eat your chocolate?”

“Yes, Poppet.” Hackett leaned away from Zaeed. He glanced back at her to find that she had a very large chocolate bar in her hand. “Where did you get that?”

“The gift shop.” Harlow hesitated with her mouth mid-bite.

“And you paid for it how?” Hackett twisted round so he was facing her.

She shifted on her feet.

“ _Harlow?”_

“The man gave it to me.” She glared at him. “I do _not_ steal, Uncle Steven.”

“Why did the man give it to you?”

“I cried because I said my parents weren’t going to be together anymore.” She took another bite.

“Poppet.”

“I can’t take it back. I already ate part of it.” She clutched the candy bar in her hand tightly. “I didn’t have a credit chit. He gave it to me, I didn’t make him. It was for a good cause.”

“A good cause?”

“Yea but you kissed before I gave it to you.” She glared at both of them again.

“Sorry, Poppet.” Zaeed grinned at her. “Next time, we’ll try to wait to make up until after you’ve given us stolen chocolate.”

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments & Subs & Bookmarks & Kudos. It's like coffee and chocolate all rolled into one. =)
> 
> Seriously, thank you. You guys make my day when you leave comments and stuff.
> 
> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Shout to to my Betas and brain storming wonders: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929

_From: Harlow Shepard_

_To: Uncle David_

_Subj: Help._

_Dear Uncle David,_

_I’ve been living with Uncle Steven and Uncle Z for a year, and I wanted to do something special. I thought about making dinner but the last time I did that by myself, I got into trouble._

_Will you come help?_

_Please?_

_I want it to be a surprise._

_Uncle Steven said that you were on Arcturus for a week or two._

_Please?_

_Harlow_

* * *

 

She’d been plotting the surprise for weeks. She’d had the papers strewn on floor that bordered her bed. Her two guardians couldn’t fit up on the loft where her bed was so it was relatively safe to leave it there. She had to keep sliding down the ladder to check things on her terminal at the desk across the room.

Uncle Steven insisted that it would be hazardous to everyone’s health if she had access to an omni-tool. She wasn’t sure why he said that. She only wanted one for school.

Gathering up the plans, Harlow slid down the ladder once again to the couch in the cubbie hole underneath her little loft to watch cartoons. She hid the papers in the secret compartment on the bookshelf. She got comfortable on the couch and dragged her purple quilt around her.

It had been on her parents’ bed. Harlow missed them a lot some days. The wall behind her couch was covered in snapshots of them, and her, and even some with her two Uncles. She grabbed her purple floppy bunny to hug it tightly.

Her tummy hurt sometimes if Harlow thought too long about missing her parents. She pulled her legs up under the quilt.   She didn’t want to start crying so she hid her face in her bunny.

“Poppet?” Hackett ducked down to move into the space with her. “What’s wrong?”

She stared down at her bunny and shrugged, “nothin’.”

“Harlow?”

“Are you going to send me away?” Harlow hugged the bunny to her chest.

“Of course not, your Uncle Z would do very painful things to me if I ever considered it.” Hackett sat next to her and pulled her into his lap. “Why?”

“It’s just…my friend Steve, his parents died too. He keeps being sent to different places.” She pulled one of the ears on the stuffed toy.

“Ahh.” Hackett reached down to hit the mute button so he wasn’t competing with the cartoon to be heard. "Uncle Z and I have been wanting to talk to you about…making…we want to _officially_ adopt you. Your parents made us your legal guardians, but we thought that we could make ourselves a _real_ family. Would you be ok with that?”

Holding her hand for him to wait, Harlow slid off of the couch and ran out of the room to find Uncle Z to bring him to her bedroom. She wanted them to all be together while they talked about this. She let her uncles talk for a little while without interrupting as she tried to consider what they were saying.

“Uncle Steven.”

“Hmm?”

“Will I still be a Shepard?” Harlow desperately wanted to know for certain that they’d always keep her but she didn’t want two forget about her own parents. It would seem wrong.

“ _Always_ , Poppet.” Zaeed pulled her down on the couch next to him. “Ezra and Hannah are still going to be your parents.”

“We just want to make sure that you and everyone else knows that we’re a family.” Hackett reached over to squeeze Zaeed’s hand.

“What…” Harlow hesitated. Her parents had always encouraged her to ask questions, Even a year in, she wasn’t sure how the two men would feel about some of the things that she often found herself confused or worried about. She turned towards the man on the couch beside her. “You aren’t going to leave again are you? Even if Uncle Steven makes you angry?”

“No.” Zaeed blinked a few times and cleared his throat while Harlow stared at him curiously. “We’re a family, Poppet. We stick together.”

“Promise.”

_It wasn’t a question._

She wasn’t satisfied until they’d both promised her. They did their ‘hugging’ everyone thing. They always did that when she talked about her parents or sad things or bunnies.

It wasn’t until the doorbuzzer sounded that Harlow remembered that she’d asked Uncle David to come over. _Uh oh._ He appeared much better at coming up with excuses out of the blue because it took him all of five minutes to get her two uncles out of the apartment.

“So, Harlow.” Anderson crouched down in front of her. “My yeoman will be bringing a bag of supplies to help make this meal a little ‘grander’ than you imagined. Is that alright?”

“Really?” Her eyes lit up.

Harlow decided that it should be a happy family celebration. She spent most of her time trying to draw a banner to spread out in the dining room. She made cards for her new ‘dads’ though she didn’t think that they’d ever be anything other than Uncle Steven and Uncle Z to her.

With Anderson’s help, Harlow managed to decorate the room. His yeoman had been a very thorough young officer. She had brought decorations, supplies to make dinner and a large fruit pie for dessert. Once it was all set up on the large dining room table, Uncle David winked at her and left her to wait for her Uncles to return.

“What in the world…” Hackett’s voice trailed off as he walked into the apartment ten minutes later.

Zaeed bumped into him as he stopped in the doorway. “Steven?”

Hackett stepped to the side to let him see. “You’ve been very busy, Poppet.”

“I…” She fidgeted for a moment. “Happy family day?”

_It was apparently hugging time again._

_“_ Happy goddamn family day.” Zaeed ducked when Hackett swatted him on the back of the head. “Cruel, Poppet. You aren’t supposed to laugh at that.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Harlow's Bedroom:
> 
> Quilt: http://pixelatrix.tumblr.com/post/78152482396/carolinaanne-i-finished-my-quilt-and-now  
> Bunny(though the wrong color): http://pixelatrix.tumblr.com/post/78073259001/claefer-untitled-by-utter-otter-on-flickr  
> Bed: http://pixelatrix.tumblr.com/post/78027076375/bearbaps-want  
> desk: http://pixelatrix.tumblr.com/post/78339497940


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments & Subs & Bookmarks & Kudos. It's like coffee and chocolate all rolled into one. =)
> 
> Seriously, thank you. You guys make my day when you leave comments and stuff.
> 
> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Shout to to my Betas and brain storming wonders: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929

At thirteen, Harlow’s teachers had told her Uncles that they thought school was _too_ easy for her. She spent the following three months on a seemingly unending series of tests. It made her cranky, very cranky. She didn’t want to _stand_ out from everyone else. It was hard enough for her to make friends as it was.

The end results of it all was that Harlow jumped ahead a year in school. She was also placed into a course of her own that was taught by a tutor brought in from Earth. The course had a custom accelerated curriculum made just for her. It also included sections on weapon design, engineering and research. Her interested in school increased almost from day one of the new lessons.

From her perspective, the only real downside was that Harlow no longer took the same classes as her only friend. She missed Steve during the day. They hung out after school though almost all the time until their parents separated them for dinner.

Steve had been adopted by one of Uncle Steven’s friends on the station. The Cortez’s were a nice couple who lived in the same building which meant that they saw more of each other outside of school. They even walked to the academy together every morning.

Two and a half years later, fifteen year old Harlow was just six months away from finishing up her time at the Academy. She would start university with a home study course via the extra-net. Her two uncles were not fond of the idea of their sixteen year old adopted daughter being on Earth on her own.

‘No bloody chance in hell’ had been Uncle Zaeed’s exact words. She had bargained with them for a complete redecorating of her room in exchange for not arguing to death with them about it. She had moved a little beyond the room that she’d loved as a ten year old.

She had opted for all white tiles on the wall and ceiling and a dark wood grained bookcases with glass shelves. The rest of the décor was stark white, grey or black. Her old quilt had been folded up and placed into a shadow box that went on the wall. Her new comforter had a strange bird cage design that looked like a skull.

_Her Uncles were not thrilled with it._

* * *

 

_From: Harlow S._

_To: Steve C._

_Subj: re: Plans._

_Arguments with Uncles: 6_

_Why can’t Uncle Steven understand that I don’t really want to join the Alliance? I feel like it’s all we talk about anymore. I’m tired of it._

_I can design and crate weapons at a private company with more freedom than if I become a marine. I don’t want to be a marine. Uncle Z understands. He might have ulterior motives for not wanting me to join up but at least he pretends that it’s because he understands._

_They did stop complaining about my clothing choices, finally. I mean honestly, Uncle Steven’s the one who introduced me to Johnny Cash in the first place. Is it my fault that I felt a connection to his reasons for dressing in black?_

_Are we still hanging out at your place after school to work on the super-secret project?_

_Harlow_

* * *

 

_From: Steve C._

_To: Harlow S._

_Subj: re: Plans._

_Maybe your Uncle Steven just wants to keep you close? If you go to Earth to a private company, he won’t see you that much. He want have access to knowing how you’re doing or be able to keep you safe like he would if you were in the Alliance._

_And yep, we’re working on the project tomorrow. I got that part that we were missing today. You do realize that even if we get it all put together correctly. It still might not work._

_I know, I know, positive thinking._

_Steve_

* * *

 

Six months ago, Harlow had _borrowed_ Jess from the hiding place that Uncle Z kept his weapons in. She’d been working with Steve in the afternoons to take it apart and attempt to fix it for him for his birthday. They had one week left, and it still wasn’t done.

They had been anxiously waiting on the arrival of a single pin. Steve had ordered them so Uncle Z wouldn’t accidentally find out about it. She hoped that it finally worked. Mr. Cortez had promised to test the weapon at the range when they were done.

“Harlow? Your Uncle is here.” Mr. Cortez popped his head into the work room where they were finishing up with Jessie.

_Oh no._

“Hide it.”

Steve rolled his eyes but slid the weapon underneath a sheet. “Paranoid much?”

“Want to make it to our sixteenth birthdays much?” She retorted under her breath. She wasn’t sure if she was relieved or more anxious when Hackett walked into the room. “Uncle Steven. Is everything alright?”

“Is Jessie fixed?” Hackett walked straight over to the workbench to lift the cloth off of the _hidden_ weapon.

“Goddamn it,” Harper muttered. She ducked her head down when he glared at her. Uncle Steven was always annoyed when she used Uncle Z’s favorite words. “How’d you know?”

“You are not all that great at sneaking around, Poppet.” He held up a small container. “I believe this is the missing part that you need. The pins that you have are substandard. Try these.”

“Thanks.” She grinned at him and handed the box to Steve while they hunched over the rifle.

It took three hours to finish up their fixing and refurbishing but when Mr. Cortez and her uncle tested it out at the range. The weapon worked perfectly. Harlow did a little happy dance with Steve. She had included a little mod of her own design that would keep it from failing like it had the first time. It would also give him better aim.

_Her first successful weapon’s mod._

She had spent hours at school working on the design. It was beyond thrilling to see it not only added to the weapon but working. Her tutor had asked for a copy of the design to send to the weapon’s manufacturer with her permission. If they decided to take on the mod, she could get a nice chunk of credits for the work.

_Bonus._

_Definite bonus._

Uncle Z was appropriately surprised and excited by her birthday present for him. It told Harlow immediately that he’d known that Jessie was missing. She sighed despondently and cheered herself up with a very large piece of the cake that Uncle Steven had baked for the occasion. She never seemed to manage to surprise either of them.

“Harlow?”

“Wha?” She mumbled around an overly large bite of cake.

“When were you going to tell us that you would be receiving ten thousand credits from Armax Arsenal?” Hackett frowned at her though she wasn’t sure if it was the view of the cake in her mouth or the credits that bothered him.

She closed her mouth and coughed around the cake that she ended up inhaling. She finally managed to choke out a response. “I didn’t know that they had decided to take the design. Ten thousand credits? Holy shit.”

“ _Poppet_.” Hackett’s eyes narrowed though his voice was tempered when Zaeed placed a hand on his arm.

“My teacher thought that the mod that I designed for Jessie might be worth sending to manufacturer who made her in the first place. I didn’t know that they would send any credits.” Harlow threw her fork down in annoyance. “Why are you always so…god…why am I bothering to talk to you about it? You’ve already made up your mind that I have to join the Alliance.”

“Harlow.”

Ignoring both of her uncles, Harlow shoved away from the table and stormed down the hall to her bedroom. She heard the chair clatter to the floor but she kept going. She sealed her door and threw herself down on her bed.

She was tired of arguing with him. It seemed like no matter what she did. Uncle Steven wasn’t going to be happy until she signed her name on a recruitment sheet for the Alliance.   He didn’t even seem to bother to pretend to listen to her anymore.

“Can we come in, Poppet?” Zaeed asked after knocking on the door.

“No.”

“Please?”

“ _No._ ” Harlow glared up at the ceiling. It wasn’t fair. She rolled her eyes at them and at herself. She wasn’t fond of temper tantrums which was what she was currently having. She opened the door with an aggrieved sigh. “What?”

“Poppet.”

“You can’t use a cute nickname to make me any less annoyed.” Harlow stepped back into her room. She leaned against the edge of her desk. “Why is it so important for you that I join the Alliance?”

“I think you’d be good at it and that you’d excel on a research and development team.” Hackett paused and then frowned at Zaeed when he elbowed him. “I can worry less about you if you’re in the Alliance. It allows you to follow your dreams while letting me sleep at night.”

“What if my dream is to work in the private sector?” She asked stubbornly.

“You want to design, create and test weapons, Poppet. You don’t care who you do it for,” Hackett said knowingly.

“Maybe.”

“At least promise me that you’ll really think about it?” He caught Zaeed’s arm when he tried to elbow him again.

“I’ll think about it if you promise to stop arguing with me about it.” Harlow was never afraid of a good negotiation opportunity.

“Agreed.”

“Great. Can we have my goddamn cake now?” Zaeed sounded completely exhausted with both of them.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: The info in canon about Cortez’s family does indicate that his parents died, though not when. So I’m ‘using creative artistic license.’ Apologies for anyone that is annoyed by it. 
> 
> References:  
> Harlow's new cover & chandelier: http://pixelatrix.tumblr.com/post/78468294696  
> Harlow's new bedroom: http://pixelatrix.tumblr.com/post/78468265003  
> Her work space(though the colors aren't right.): http://pixelatrix.tumblr.com/post/78555116418


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments & Subs & Bookmarks & Kudos. It's like coffee and chocolate all rolled into one. =)
> 
> Seriously, thank you. You guys make my day when you leave comments and stuff.
> 
> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Shout to to my Betas and brain storming wonders: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929

_From: Zaeed Massani_

_To: Steven Hackett_

_Subj: Teenagers._

_Please come back to Arcturus. How much longer is this goddam tour anyway? Next time you have to leave, you’re taking the Poppet with you so I don’t have to deal with this shit._

_Harlow is driving me up the wall. She has a boyfriend. Why does she have to have a boyfriend? _

_Goddamn bastard. Can I shoot the punk?_

_I’d really like to shoot the punk._

_Love you._

_Zaeed_

* * *

 

_From: Harlow_

_To: Uncle Steven_

_Subj: Your husband._

_Please tell your delusional husband that he is not allowed to shoot a boy because he wants to ask me out. It’s not normal. Why can’t I have normal parents?_

_No offense._

_Look. It’s not even that serious, I haven’t even kissed him yet. His name is Danny. His dad works at the Academy and his mom is a Lieutenant on Uncle David’s ship._

_He just wants to take me out for a movie._

_Harlow_

_P.S. You two do realize that I’m almost eighteen right???_

* * *

 

Harlow stood in front of her wardrobe trying to decide what to wear. Uncle Steven had somehow managed to convince his husband that they couldn’t just ban her from dating for life. It was only going out to the movies with a group of friends, one of which happened to be Danny.

Pulling on a pair of black satin pants, Harlow slid on a low hanging belt that hit just above her thighs and had spikes on it. She added a black tank-top with a long-sleeve sheer shirt over it. She put a black leather bracelet on her right wrist and a chunky silver one on her left. Her long, curly red hair hung down almost to the middle of her back. She was definitely in need of a hair cut.

“No.”

“What?” Harlow glared at Zaeed who was blocking the front door. She stared down at her outfit. “I wear this all the time. I wore it to school two weeks ago.”

“No.”

“Uncle Z.” She reminded herself to stay calm. He was the least likely of her uncles to respond well to her getting angry. “Be reasonable. I’m practically completely covered.”

“No.”

“Can you say anything other than ‘no’?” She asked petulantly.

“Yes.” He smirked at her.

Harlow threw her hands up in the air in annoyed exasperation. She liked her outfit. It was one of her favorites, and it was completely and entirely modest. He was being irrational. She hated when Uncle Steven was gone for any length of time. The two men worked much better as a unit.

“I am going to the movies with friends and I am wearing this.” Harlow didn’t think there was any reason to back down.

“I said no.”

“What was that? I’m sorry; I go temporarily deaf whenever I hear something irrational and idiotic.” She crossed her arms and matched his glare with one of her own. “Please?”

“Put a goddamn coat on.” He gestured towards her black coat.

“Fine.” She figured that she could take it off the minute that she was out of sight.

“Poppet?”

She paused halfway out of the door. “Yes?”

“Be careful.”

* * *

 

_Inter-Relay Text Chat_

_Location: Arcturus_

_From: Zaeed Massani_

_To: Steven Hackett_

_Z: I let her go on the goddamn date._

_S: Why does that immediately make me concerned?_

_Z: Suspicious bastard. I objected to her choice of attire._

_S: Harlow’s attire? Aside from it being overly dark, what possible complaint could you have had?_

_Z: She’s going out with a boy._

_S: And?_

_Z: Steven._

_S: She’ll be eighteen in a few months. Hell, she’s almost finished with her degree from the university. How long did you think you were going to be able to keep her from going out with boys…or girls?_

_Z: Fucking boys. Are you sure that I can’t shoot them?_

_S: Yes._

_Z: Why are you so bloody calm about this?_

_S: It’s easier to deal with when you aren’t there in person._

_Z: Bastard._

_S: Harlow can take care of herself. We both taught her simple self-defense. She’s a better shot than you are. You can’t be worried about her getting hurt._

_Z: Shoot the bastards._

_S: No._

_Z: Why couldn’t the Poppet stay ten forever? I can handle scraped knees and bullies. Boyfriends are a completely different goddamn thing._

_S: We just have to trust her._

_Z: I trust her. I don’t goddamn trust them._

_S: Zaeed._

_Z: I’m still staying up until she gets home._

_S: Good. Let me know when she gets there._

_Z: You’re fucking bastard for leaving me here alone to deal with it._

_S: I love you too._

_S: I recommend a lot of coffee._

_User has disconnected._

* * *

 

Harlow decided to head home after the movie. The others wanted to sneak into one of the clubs on the station. It was usually packed with young Alliance officers. It wasn’t her scene and she wasn’t all that impressed with Danny’s interest in going either. She found Zaeed sitting on the couch with a cup of coffee in hand as she walked in.

“I’m early,” she said defensively.

“I know.” He motioned her over to sit next to him. “How was the date?”

“Eh,” she shrugged.

“Listen, Poppet.” Zaeed set his mug down on the coffee table. “I’m sorry. I’m having trouble with the idea that you’re turning into this phenomenal goddamn woman.”

“Is this your version of Uncle Steven’s issues with wanting me to join the Alliance? He wants me safe in the Alliance and you want me to never, ever, ever date.” Harlow had thought about it during the movie quite a bit. She felt bad for getting so ticked off at him.

“You’re too goddamn smart.”

“If it makes you feel any better, I think Danny’s an idiotic loser and we won’t be going out again.” She held her hand up to stop his knee-jerk response. “He didn’t try anything so you have no reason to shoot him.”

“Damn.”

“I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Harlow's outfit: http://pixelatrix.tumblr.com/post/78466061945
> 
> and coat: http://pixelatrix.tumblr.com/post/78665609932
> 
> hair: http://pixelatrix.tumblr.com/post/78659403612/purpletinkerbelles-tinkerbelles-purple


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments & Subs & Bookmarks & Kudos. It's like coffee and chocolate all rolled into one. =)
> 
> Seriously, thank you. You guys make my day when you leave comments and stuff.
> 
> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Shout to to my Betas and brain storming wonders: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929

It was the first thing on Harlow’s mind. She’d finished up her University courses though she planned on going for a second degree at some point. The pressure from her uncles to make a decision about her future had increased the closer to her eighteenth birthday that she got. It felt like they had a hold of her arms and were pulling her in opposite directions.

She had spent a lot of time at Steve’s house as a result. His dad still helped to tutor her in some of the tougher courses. He’d also been trying to help her figure out what she wanted to do with herself. He had the only unbiased opinion really.

Pulling on a pair of black jeans, an over-sized black t-shirt with a tiger’s head on it and her favorite boots, Harlow grabbed her backpack and tried to sneak out of the apartment before either of her uncles were awake. She could have breakfast with Steve if she hurried.

“Going somewhere, Poppet?”

Harlow turned on her way to the door to find Hackett sitting on the couch with a cup of coffee in his hand and Zaeed stretched out beside him. Her Uncle Z appeared to be dozing with his head on his husband’s leg. She retraced her steps until she was standing in front of them.

“I’m having breakfast with Steve.” Harlow lifted her backpack so she was hugging it to her chest. “I have to go.”

“You’ve been there every day, all goddamn day for the last month,” Zaeed grumbled without bothering to open his eyes.

“And?”

_“Poppet.”_

“I don’t want to argue with you anymore about whether or not I should join the Alliance.” Harlow slumped down into the armchair that was behind her.

“It’s…”

“I’m serious, Uncle Steven. I’m tired of it. You’ve all but ruined my little happy bubble about finishing school. I’m stressed out about it. Mr. Cortez has a really great idea that I want to talk to him about.” Harlow hadn’t really had the courage to bring it up before now.

“Oh? Do tell.” His eyes narrowed on her and Zaeed sat up to pay close attention.

“Are you actually going to listen?” She couldn’t help but sound resentful.

“Yes, he is.” Zaeed glared at his husband. “I’ll cover his goddamn mouth if I have to.”

With her bag still clutched to her chest, Harlow detailed the tentative plan that she’d been working on. There was a charity organization run by former Alliance officers that did volunteer work on human colonies. It specifically focused on aiding survivors of slaver attacks. Mr. Cortez had suggested that she might benefit from getting out and seeing what was happening in the world outside of the sterile and controlled Arcturus environment.

Since her uncles were quiet, Harlow took that as an invitation to pull out the paperwork from her backpack. She handed it to Hackett to look over. She continued on with the fact that she wanted to volunteer for six months working with survivors. It would take her to a few different colonies and at the end of it, she’d figure out whether she wanted to accept the position at Armax that had been offered or join the Alliance instead.

“You want to volunteer?”

“Yes, Uncle Steven. I want to _volunteer._ ” She watched his face carefully as he processed it. Zaeed was busy staring at all the forms that she had already filled out. “I’d leave in a couple of weeks.”

“It’ll be dangerous,” Hackett started cautiously.

“So would joining the Alliance,” Harlow interrupted him. She leaned forward to take the forms away from Zaeed. “I will be eighteen in a week. You can’t stop me from going but I’d really like your support on this. I think it would be good for me. Mr. Cortez agrees so does Uncle David.”

“You talked to David about this as well?” Hackett sounded hurt by the fact that she’d spoken to everyone but them.

“I wanted unbiased opinions before I brought it up to you two.” She decided not to mention that she also wanted someone in her corner if her uncles refused to approve of it.

“We can be goddamn unbiased.” Zaeed managed to say it with a completely straight face which amazed Harlow.

_“Right.”_

“Why do you want to do this? Leaving my thoughts on the Alliance and Zaeed’s on Armax Arsenal completely aside, I’d like to know the reasons behind your decision.” Hackett asked seriously.

Deciding that it was a positive sign, Harlow outlined everything that she’d discussed with Uncle Davied when he’d put a similar question to her. She wanted to do something to help others. She understood what it was like to be an orphan, and there were a lot of kids orphaned by slavers.

The charity that she would be working with did good work. They cooked meals and helped rebuild homes. They offered temporary tutoring to the children which was the part of the program that Harlow would be getting involved with.

Since the group was run by former Alliance officers, they kept tight security on it. She’d be as safe as she would be anywhere. She knew that she’d had a fairly charmed life, aside from losing her parents. It would be good for her to help others who hadn’t been as fortunate.

“I can’t stay in your apartment on Arcturus forever.” She looked from one uncle to the other. “I know it’s going to be hard on me, but I can handle it.”

“Why the hell did we have to adopt the smart goddamn kid?” Zaeed grumbled to Hackett before grinning at her. “You keep in touch and we’re buying you fucking armor and a goddamn weapon.”

“No weapons allowed, it’s on page three.” She held up the forms again.

“Fine, we’re buying you fucking armor and a knife that you can hide in your boot.” Zaeed had his ‘not changing his goddamn mind’ look so Harlow just shrugged and said ‘fine.’

“Uncle Steven?”

“You know, Ezra and Hannah would be so very proud of you, Poppet. Ezra did a lot of volunteer work during shore-leave, both of your parents did.” He scratched his jaw for a moment. “I agree with Zaeed about the armor. We’ll need to get you a better bag and some gear that will be easy to carry. Let me see the forms so I know what you need.”

Harlow launched out of her chair and tripped over the coffee table as she tried to hug both of them at the same time. “I love you.”

“You better goddamn message us every bloody day or I’m camping out wherever they send you.” Zaeed gave a quiet laugh.

* * *

 

_From: Harlow S._

_To: Steve C._

_Subj: They SAID YES._

_I can’t believe that they said yes._

_They actually agreed that the volunteer thing is a good idea. I am totally happy dancing all over my room. We should celebrate. Coffee and cake at café?_

_I didn’t even have to argue about needing new stuff._

_Best. Day. Ever._

_Do you think maybe they’re just happy that I’m going to be easily reachable? I know that Uncle Steven knows the woman that runs the charity. Not going to obsess about that, who cares as long as they don’t argue me to death about ‘not going.’_

_Sorry, so coffee?_

_Harlow_

* * *

 

_From: Steve C._

_To: Harlow S._

_Subj: re: Yes._

_I don’t think you need either sugar or caffeine at all._

_How about a nice calming cup of tea?_

_Or better yet, let’s get take-away from the noodle shop and work on my class project? Please? Help? I can’t get the engine to work quite right._

_Steve_

* * *

 

_From: Harlow S._

_To: Steve C._

_Subj: re: Yes._

_But you’re buying._

_Harlow_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Harlow's Outfit: http://pixelatrix.tumblr.com/post/78766832009


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I promise that there is eventually romance and smut in this story. lol. I swear. =)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments & Subs & Bookmarks & Kudos. It's like coffee and chocolate all rolled into one. =)
> 
> Seriously, thank you. You guys make my day when you leave comments and stuff.
> 
> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Shout to to my Betas and brain storming wonders: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929

_From: Harlow_

_To: Uncle Steven_

_Subj: re: Uncle Z._

_Are you enjoying having the entire apartment to yourself since he’s on a bounty and I’m doing good deeds?_

_I miss you both and don’t look at my message so dubiously. I know I argued with you about leaving and it’s only been three months, but I really miss you._

_I’ve been working mostly for the last two weeks with three sisters that range in age from five to nine. Their parents were murdered and now they’re anxiously waiting for news on whether a family member will take them. If not, they’ll go to a foster home._

_The oldest keeps asking me if they’ll be taken together or separated. I don’t know how to answer her. They have a lot of nightmares too. We take turns staying in the room with them to help comfort them. The poor kids._

_How do I help them? I have no idea. It seems stupid to just hold them and try to keep them focused on school and not on the terrible things that they’ve seen._

_It’s not enough._

_I spoke with the Alliance officer who brought them here. His name was Captain Kahoku, do you know him? He was really nice. He told me that their weapons needed upgraded significantly. The slavers are using more advanced rifles. The unit that he sent down to rescue the girls lost one marine and they also lost two of the colonists that they were trying to save._

_I have to go. It’s my turn to help in the kitchen._

_Does the length of the message make up for not writing in a week?_

_Love you._

_Harlow_

* * *

 

The past three months had been harder than Harlow had anticipated. It hurt to see the after effects of a slaver attack. Kids were definitely the worst as well. There were shadows in their eyes and scars that definitely went beyond the physical.

She didn’t know how to help them and she _really_ wanted to do _something._ It felt like something had shifted in her. It was likely impossible to experience what she was and not grow at least a little bit.

_Who could work with those kids and not be changed?_

Everyone always said that Harlow was _exceptionally_ intelligent. If she couldn’t use that to make a difference for colonists, then what good was it? She had spent most of her down time sketching and journaling in her leather sketchpad. It kept her from feeling depressed and overwhelmed.

Messaging with Steve helped as well; his class project had gone without a hitch. He told her to hurry up and came home. His parents had gotten him a used skycar as a reward. It was used and broken. He wanted her help getting it to work. After looking at the images that he sent, she suggested that he sell it for scraps.

_He had not found that amusing._

Uncle Z had been unreachable for the last month or so on a bounty. Harlow hadn’t been lying when she said that she missed her uncles. She’d had a funny dream about Zaeed cursing while Hackett scolded him. She woke up not knowing whether to laugh or cry.

* * *

 

_From: Uncle Z_

_To: Harlow_

_Subj: re: Your Opinion._

_Are you sure about this, Poppet?_

_There’s no going back. You don’t get a goddamn do-ever if you change your mind._

_And to answer your other questions: I am not disappointed in you, ever. I’m goddamn proud of you and I promise that I understand._

_I won’t tell my uglier half anything._

_Love you, Poppet._

_Z_

* * *

 

With her six months up, Harlow ended up waiting an additional week for Anderson’s ship to pick her up. She had been _firmly_ told that _public_ transports would _not_ be acceptable. She found out the real reason when her uncles were waiting for her on the other side of the airlock when it finally arrived.

Zaeed grabbed her bags from her so Hackett could pull her into a hug. He briefly muttered something about having missed her and being proud of her. The two of them swapped places and her other uncle was wrapping his arms around her. He smelled like cigar smoke so she took a moment to lecture him about smoking which he ignored.

“Hello, Poppet.” Zaeed led her away from the bridge. He bent down to whisper in her ear. “A hundred credits says that he’s going to insist that you’ve lost weight and that you need to eat better.”

“Done,” she murmured back. She choked on a laugh when five second later her Uncle Steve started grumbling about _‘kids who don’t have the sense to eat right._ ’ “I missed you.”

“So, _Poppet_ , when are you going to tell me the _big_ secret?” Hackett waited until they were comfortable situated in the ship’s lounge. He pointed over at his husband. “He keeps going on and on about some secret that he knows that I don’t.”

“Uncle Z,” she said reproachfully. “That is _not_ how you keep a secret.”

“But he’s so goddamn sexy when he pouts.” Zaeed grinned at her when she covered her ears and hummed loudly. “Sorry, Poppet.”

Grabbing her black satchel, Harlow lifted the flap and rooted around in it until she found the Alliance forms that she’d held on to for a few weeks. Captain Kahoku had brought them along when he’d come to check up on the survivors. She handed them over to Hackett with a growing sense of trepidation. She wasn’t sure what he was going to think of her change of mind.

He seemed initially stunned by what he was looking at. He stared down at the filled in form with a confused frown.   His first question was ‘why.’ Harlow tried her best to explain that she thought the best way she could make a difference was in developing better weapons and gear for the Alliance.

The complaints that Harlow had listened to over the past half a year from various marines were all the same. They desperately needed new, better and more advanced gear. There was only so much that she could do if she spent her time working at the charity.   She could only help so many children there.

Her talents definitely lay in designing and creating weapons and mods. In the private sector, her advances would be _for_ profit. There wasn’t anything wrong with that but it wasn’t as satisfying a thought as it had been six months previously.

Going into research and development with the Alliance, Harlow could impact not only the marines but the people that they helped. She paced in the small lounge in front of her Uncles. She tended to talk with her hands.

“Harlow.”

“Hmm?”

“Are you certain?” Hackett asked cautiously.

“ _Very._ ” Harlow had spent three months going back and forth on it. She’d talked to Zaeed, Anderson and her buddy Steve about it. She’d also talked to Kahoku. “I can do this. I understand a little more why my mom and dad were in the Alliance. I understand why you were trying to convince me that it was a good path for me.”

“I’m proud of you.” He stood up to pull her into a hug. “I’d be proud of you whatever you decide to do with your life.”

“Fucking Alliance,” Zaeed grumbled. He winked at her when she turned towards him. He glanced down at the paperwork. “Why are you waiting for your nineteenth birthday to sign up?”

“Steve wants to join as well.” She thought going to boot camp with at least one friend might make it… _easier_.

“You really do need to eat more.” Hackett frowned at her.

“Uncle Steven.”

“Yes?”

“Can I borrow a hundred credits? I lost a bet to your husband.” Harlow laughed when he turned his ire on Zaeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Harlow's satchel: http://pixelatrix.tumblr.com/post/78956977617/marineafonso-proenza-schouler-the-ps1-tiny


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments & Subs & Bookmarks & Kudos. It's like coffee and chocolate all rolled into one. =)
> 
> Seriously, thank you. You guys make my day when you leave comments and stuff.
> 
> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Shout to to my Betas and brain storming wonders: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929

“He’s looking at you _again_.” Steve leaned over to whisper as Harlow glanced up from her plate.

“Shut Up.”

“But he is…oh he looked away…wait, he’s looking again,” Steve teased mercilessly.

“I dislike you immensely right now.” Harlow pushed the rice around on her plate aimlessly.

“I am desperately trying to help you achieve some sort of entanglement.” He continued on in an overdramatic whisper. “It’s sad that at nineteen your life is like a romantic desert. Did you even kiss Danny?”

 _“No.”_ She held up her fork. “I will disfigure you if you don’t _shut_ up.”

They were _supposed_ to be having lunch in the mess, a rare break from the tortures of boot camp. The ‘he’ that Steve kept bugging her about was one of the other recruits, Felix Santiago. He was devilishly handsome with dark brown eyes and hair. She spoke with a slight accent that Harlow couldn’t identify. He always seemed to have a secret smile just for her.

_She was confident that was her over-active imagination._

Steve was convinced that Harlow and Felix had experienced epic love at first sight. She thought that sun had addled his brain. He had started to constantly inform her whenever the man even so much as glanced in her direction. It wasn’t helped by the fact that he was so often paired up with her during training.

“And _here_ he comes.” Steve nudged her arm and then claimed a sudden need for a drink refill even though his glass was three-quarters full at the moment. He was gone before she could stop him.

“Hi.” Harlow stared up stupidly at him when Felix hesitated by her table.

“My mother sent a package of polvorones. I saved a couple from the vultures in the barracks for you.” He held the tissue wrapped cookies out to her.

His fingers brushed against hers though she couldn’t tell if it was innocent or not. She was going to kill Steve for filling her head with idiotic notions. Her hormones didn’t need any assistance. They were doing a dance all on their own whenever she was close to him.  

Felix slid on to the bench beside her with a carefully wrapped package in his right hand. “Where’s your boyfriend going?”

“Boyfriend?”

“Cortez.”

Harlow choked on a bite of the cookie and sent powdered sugar spraying everywhere. She covered her face with her hands with a sense of pure mortification. She cleared her throat and tried for an air of calm and collected grace. “He’s my best friend _not_ my boyfriend. In any case, we tend to like the same kind of men.”

“ _Ahh._ ”

 _“_ Exactly.” Harlow surreptitiously brushed the fine white dust from her shirt, the sugar had gotten everywhere.

_Smooth, very smooth._

“So, no boyfriend?” Felix ran the tip of his finger along one of her knuckles.

Harlow pulled her hand back as one of their drill instructors walked past. “None.”

“Would you _like_ one?” His brown eyes met hers with that damned smile of his.

“How about a date first hot-shot?” Steve dropped down beside Harlow and barged into the conversation without hesitation. “We’ve got a long weekend coming up. Harlow’s been planning to go shopping for parts for one of her weapon mod projects. Why don’t you go with her? You two can have lunch afterwards.”

“Still sitting, right here.” Harlow elbowed her _best friend_ hard in the side.

While Felix and Steve ironed out the details of _her_ date, Harlow focused her attention on the fact that her uncles were going to _hate_ him. Granted, the two men were generally not thrilled by any boy that she wanted to date. She let Steve steal one of the cookies and lifted her eyes to find Felix still watching her.

“Would you mind if I joined you on your part-hunting excursion?” Felix asked.

Harlow covered Steve’s mouth to stop him from answering for her. “Yes, I mean no. I'd love you to come with me.”

* * *

 

_From: Zaeed Massani_

_To: Steven Hackett_

_Subj: re: Harlow._

_What the bloody hell do you mean the Poppet has been spending time with Felix Santiago?_

_I’ll beat the little shit to a bloody pulp._

_And no I’m not over-reacting and yes I know that he’s not his father. He wasn’t raised by the bastard and his mother is a sweet angel of a woman._

_I don’t goddamn like it. Make her stop._

_Zaeed_

* * *

 

_From: Steven Hackett_

_To: Zaeed Massani_

_Subj: re: Harlow._

_You will not beat him up. You will leave them alone because if you try to stop them from spending time together, we’re going to end up with a daughter who is married before she gets out of boot camp._

_We don’t have to like it._

_Major Mathis informs me that Santiago is a young man who is focused on his career. The two of them haven’t let any sort of attraction affect their performance. They’re currently battling with each other for the ‘top of the class’ in just about every category._

_Our daughter is doing fine._

_If he hurts her, then we can find a very tiny hole to crush his body into._

_Steven_

* * *

 

Harlow found a use for having an uncle who was an Admiral. She managed to coerce Major Mathis that Steve _really_ wanted extra time at the range. It was the only way that she could guarantee that he would _tag_ along on her first date with Felix. She could make it up to him later.

She didn’t have a lot of clothing options with her outside of her uniforms and fatigues. There was one flirty black dress that she finally decided to wear with her boots. Felix waited for her by the gates in a pair of jeans and a dark green hoodie. It had a sports team logo on the back that she hadn’t heard of.

The hour long shuttle ride into the city gave them plenty of time to talk about their parents. Felix didn’t like talking about his father. She thought the way that he spoke about his mother was sweet.   He wanted to know about her parents and sympathized when she told him about the accident. She moved on to the happier topic of her uncles.

“Uncle Z?” He interrupted her to ask about the nickname.

“Zaeed.”

“Zaeed Massani?” Felix broke into a smile when she nodded. “I know him. He helped my mother get away from my father when I was little. I haven’t seen him since I was four or five.”

“Be prepared for an intense and extreme interrogation if he ever finds out that this happened.” She wandered down one of the aisles in the parts store.

She was looking for a rare chip to power the mod that she’d been working on to make rifle clips load more efficiently. She crouched down to sift through a large container of jumbled bits and pieces. Felix squatted down next to her to help. Mostly, he held whatever she handed to him without complaint.

“Found it!” Harlow stood up with the small part in hand. She danced around for a minute and then stopped with a blush that made the freckles on her face stand out. “Sorry.”

Felix dumped the stuff that he’d been holding back into the bin and got back up. With the heel on her boots, they were just about eye to eye. He leaned over until his lips grazed lightly against her cheek. “Don’t be sorry for taking _joy_ in life, that’s what it’s there for.”

* * *

 

_From: Major Mathis_

_To: Admiral Hackett_

_Subj: re: Harlow._

_You do realize that I’m responsible for not only three groups of recruits but an entire base of Alliance officers and staff._

_I do not have time to track down your daughter who has done nothing wrong to find out where she went on her day off. It’s bad enough that I let her talk me into giving Cortez extra time in the range._

_Why don’t you ask her where she went?_

_I have recruits to train._

_Mathis_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Face Reference: Felix Santiago: http://pixelatrix.tumblr.com/post/77737921336/lovingmalemodels-rafael-lazzini
> 
> Harlow's outfit: http://pixelatrix.tumblr.com/post/79177111852/define-able


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments & Subs & Bookmarks & Kudos. It's like coffee and chocolate all rolled into one. =)
> 
> Seriously, thank you. You guys make my day when you leave comments and stuff.
> 
> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Shout to to my Betas and brain storming wonders: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929

_From: Major Mathis_

_To: Admiral Hackett_

_Subj: re: Graduation._

_I can’t delay the ceremony for a day. You’ll have to adjust your schedule or not be there. Sorry, but they rushed our next batch of victims and I don’t have time to postpone it. I’d do it otherwise. I hate that you’ll miss it._

_Tell your husband that I’m still not going to spy on your daughter’s burgeoning romance. Leave the poor kids alone. It’s only been three months, what the hell does he think is going to happen?_

_Your Harlow is a sweet kid. I’m still not convinced that she’s right for the Alliance. And I know that she’s graduating with her name at the top of all the records, some that have stood for years._

_Keep her on Arcturus if you can._

_I don’t believe that she grasps the concept that as a marine, she may have to shoot her precious weapons at something other than a practice range dummy or target.   She’ll excel at research and development, let her get lost in a lab._

_Just my opinion._

_Gordon_

* * *

 

Hackett leaned back in his chair. He reached out to shut his inbox down without respond. Mathis’ concerns weren’t far off base. It was something that he hadn’t considered when he’d been encouraging Harlow to join up. He found it almost impossible to think about anything else now.

His daughter was many things but capable of shooting someone might not be one of them. It wouldn’t matter if the person held a gun on her or someone else. He was beginning to wonder if this hadn’t been a catastrophic mistake that would seriously alter who she was.

“Steven?” Zaeed found him an hour later still staring off into space.

“We have to be at the base on Friday.” He didn’t want to share his doubts yet. Harlow had grown into a strong young woman. She could handle anything…he hoped. “I’ll adjust my plans so we can leave in the morning.”

“Is the Poppet still…”

“Yes.” Hackett knew how that question ended. Zaeed had been asking it for three months.

“Make her stop.”

“No.”

“Useless bastard,” Zaeed grumbled.

“They’re good kids.” Hackett had bigger concerns than a boot camp case of puppy love. “The Cortez boy will keep an eye on her. Mathis wouldn’t let anyone hurt her either.”

“You are _way_ too goddamn calm about this shit.” Zaeed grabbed his chair and spun him around. His hands rested on Hackett’s shoulders. “What the bloody hell haven’t you told me?”

* * *

 

_From: Harlow_

_To: Uncle Steven_

_Subj: Graduation._

_Major Mathis said that you probably won’t be able to make it._

_It’s ok. I know you feel bad but don’t. I’ll have Mr. Cortez send a copy of the vid that he’s bound to take so you can still see it. It’s not like there’s much to the ceremony._

_I’m thinking of applying for assignment to the research department on Arcturus, or maybe the weapons lab in Amsterdam. I’m barely above a private right now so the chances are slim that I’ll get a cherry picked spot like that but maybe my degree will help._

_Love you._

_Harlow_

_P.S. Will you please ask Uncle Z to stop harassing Felix? It’s embarrassing._

* * *

 

Harlow sat on the top of the massive wall that served as part of one of the obstacle courses that the drill instructors used to torture her. She’d been hiding up there for a few hours after messaging her uncle. She toyed with the rings in her hand that had been her parents’ wedding bands. It was going to be hard not to have any of her family there for her tomorrow.

“Harlow?”

She glanced down to find Steve standing underneath her. He pushed at her boot and then shimmied his way up to join her. “Hey.”

“Are your uncles still not coming then?” He wrapped an arm loosely around her shoulder. “You can borrow my parents. They’ll be embarrassing enough for the both of us, I’m sure.”

“You love that they’re going to be here.” She tucked her necklace back into her shirt. “Did you get your assignment yet?”

“Yep. They just started handing them out. You should go get yours.” Cortez pulled up his omni-tool to show her a copy of it. “I’m off to flight school and then I’ll be assigned to the SSV Hawking to work on Tridents.”

“Sweet.”

“Go talk to the Major. I bet you got that post on Arcturus.” He reached over to push her off of the wall. “Stop being a chicken and go find out.”

“Yea, yea.” She reached up to grab him by the ankle to pull him down. “Did you see the new group of recruits that arrived? One of them was watching you.”

“Really?”

“Yep.”

“I need details. Lots of details. Is he cute? Does he have pretty eyes?” He peppered her with questions all the way across the base.

* * *

 

_From: David Anderson_

_To: Steven Hackett_

_Subj: re: Friday._

_I’m holding the ship at the sky-port._

_We can easily make the jump to the Sol system in time for you to be at Harlow’s graduation. I might join you and give everyone a ride back to Arcturus._

_Does she know that you pulled a few favors to get her assigned to the research lab on Arcturus? You do realize that Harlow won’t appreciate it._

_David_

* * *

 

It wasn’t until after the short ceremony that Harlow realized her little section of the _crowd_ included both of her Uncles and Anderson. Harlow decided to take both Hackett and Zaeed by the arm to lead them _away_ from the crowd and more importantly Felix. It was one thing for Uncle Z to harass him via the extra-net; it might be more than humiliating in person.

_Might?_

_Definitely would be._

“In a hurry, Poppet?” Zaeed dragged her into a hug which halted her forward momentum. “Someone that you don’t want me to meet.”

“Help?” Harlow pleaded with Hackett who held his hands up. “I will remember that you abandoned me.”

“Have you tried arguing with the man? He’s going to do it at some point, if your Felix can’t handle him. You should find out about it now.” He eased her into a hug which was a blatant distraction to let Zaeed wander off to find Felix. “Surrender to the inevitable, Poppet.”

Felix and Zaeed joined them ten minutes later. Hackett had refused to let her go find them.   He looked like he was still in one piece so Harlow was prepared to forgive her Uncle Z… _maybe._    Anderson tried to smoothly change the conversation to the assignments that the graduating recruits would be receiving.   It turned out to be unnecessary as Cortez raced up to drag her and Felix away from the _old men_.

“I owe you many, many, many things.” Harlow jogged alongside him as they made their way across the base to one of the larger sets of barracks. “Where are we going?”

“Shh. Wait.”

Harlow rolled her eyes in amusement when she realized that he’d brought them over to spy on his new crush. “Steve.”

“He’s so perfect.”

“Perfectly unaware of your existence unless you do something useful like say hello.” Harlow had a sudden but brilliant idea. She rested her hand on Steve’s back to shove him into the barracks. “ _Robert!”_

She ducked out of the room and shut the door to leave her buddy alone with his crush. Felix chuckled at her when she did her little _happy dance_ at getting revenge after months and months. He pulled her in for a kiss only to be interrupted by a _loud_ and _distinct_ cough.

“Uncle Z.”

“Time to go, Poppet.” He grabbed her by the arm to lead her _away_ from a still grinning Felix.

“The next time you and Uncle Steven are doing anything remotely romantic, I will find a way to ruin it for you.” Harlow stumbled along beside him since he wasn’t letting go of her anytime soon. She waved at Felix. “ _Ruin_. Complete and utter _ruin._ ”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Face Reference: Major Mathis: http://pixelatrix.tumblr.com/post/79358419548/lovingmalemodels-tom-erickson


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments & Subs & Bookmarks & Kudos. It's like coffee and chocolate all rolled into one. =)
> 
> Seriously, thank you. You guys make my day when you leave comments and stuff.
> 
> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Shout to to my Betas and brain storming wonders: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929

Over the past six years, Harlow had somehow managed to stay assigned to the same weapons research lab on Arcturus. She hadn’t questioned it though in the back of her mind she had thought it seemed strange. It wasn’t until she overheard a snide comment from someone behind her in line for coffee about her only being there because of her relation to Admiral Hackett.

When Harlow confronted him about it, he shrugged it off as nothing more than a jealous rumor. She wasn’t convinced but couldn’t get him to admit to anything. She asked Anderson and then Uncle Z. They both told her in their own ways to stop worrying about it.

_She couldn’t._

All that Harlow could think about was how everything that she believed she had earned had been _given_ to her because of Uncle Steven. She finally sent a message to the one person who never sugarcoated things, Major Mathis. She wanted the truth about why, unlike Steve or Felix, she had never once been assigned to active duty on a ship.

There was no response from the major for three weeks. Harlow had a feeling it might be an answer on its own. He usually wrote her back within days. She waited another week until he sent her a question in return.

_‘What do you think?’_

She stared at the question for an hour in her small apartment. A year into living on Arcturus after boot camp, she had realized it was imperative to have her own place. Uncle Z was a deterrent to Felix visiting while she still lived in _their_ apartment.

* * *

 

_From: Harlow S._

_To: Steve C._

_Subj: re: Rumors._

_I don’t want a cushy lab job that I didn’t earn. And don’t tell me not to complain. I didn’t fight my way through boot camp and study as hard as I did to have something handed to me without merit. I want to know that I made it because of my abilities not my damn uncle._

_I’m furious with him._

_How could he do that to me and then lie about it?_

_What if I applied for reassignment? Isn’t that how you got moved over to the colony where Robert is? How’s your fiancé doing? How the hell do I do it without Uncle Steven blocking me?_

_I’m sending you back the engine schematics that you sent. I made a few changes that should give you more stability._

_Harlow_

* * *

 

_From: Felix_

_To: Harlow_

_Subj: re: Miss You._

_Mi Amor,_

_I’m so sorry that the rumors were true. I was afraid that might be the case. How can I help?_

_The Captain told me that we’re docking on Arcturus in a few days. Think you can spare a little time for me?_

_Felix_

* * *

 

Harlow waited at the sky-port for the _Tokyo_ to arrive. She wore dark skinny jeans with her favorite boots and a black off-shoulder shirt with a large smiling skull on the front. She hadn’t seen Felix in a few months. They’d been together since boot camp. He even spent most of the holidays and shore-leaves with her.

He was the third marine out of the airlock. Harlow broke into a huge smile when he dodged around the two other soldiers to reach her. His hands cupped her face as he kissed her hungrily.

They ignored the whistles of encouragement from the marines that walked past them. Harlow dragged her fingernails over the scruff on his jaw. He’d been clean shaven the last time that she’d seen him. She liked it.

“Hi.” She spoke against his lips and felt them curve into the familiar smile.

“You look _worn_ out, princessa.” Felix ran a thumb across her lips when he finally leaned back. “Did Admiral Hackett answer your question finally?”

“No.” Harlow’s face fell as she remembered the continued evasive answers that he gave. “He lied. Family shouldn’t do that.”

“Family isn’t always good,” Felix said bitterly.

“I know.” Harlow placed a comforting hand on his cheek. His father was _not_ a good man. “I’m very happy to see you.”

“Good, amor, but you don’t have to put on a smile for me.” He intertwined his fingers with hers as they walked out of the sky-port. “We _share_ our problems. It makes them easier to handle, yes?”

“Yes.” Harlow raised their joined hands to rest her cheek against his hand for a moment. “I’m so glad to see you.”

“As am I.”

“I have to ask him again. I need to give him another chance to tell me before I drop the news that I’m asking for reassignment to a ship.” She wasn’t looking forward to having any part of that conversation. She smiled weakly at Felix who pulled her into a hug. “I wish Uncle Z were here. It’s always easier to talk to the two of them together.”

* * *

 

_From: Zaeed_

_To: Steven_

_Subj: re: The Poppet._

_What the bloody hell do you mean she’s been reassigned to Major Kyle’s unit on the Trafalga? Isn’t that the ship that’s being sent to deal with batarians at some point?_

_And don’t get all up in arms, I’m not telling you how I found out about it._

_What did you do? She was happy in the lab. I told you that calling in all those favors would back-fire on you if she ever found out._

_Stubborn goddamn bastard._

_She’s ignore my messages as well, so no, I can’t tell her to contact you. I suppose that she thinks I’m guilty by association._

_And yes, you do have to find a way to fix this. I can’t. I didn’t do it. We’re the parents so we have to act like it._

_You do realize that Ezra would kick your goddamn ass for this, right?_

_I love you._

_Zaeed_

* * *

_From: Gordon Mathis_

_To: Steven Hackett_

_Subj: re: Contact._

_What did you expect was going to happen when she found out?_

_I told you to tell her the truth. And no, I didn't tell her.  I suggested that she use her impressive mind to think it through.  Something that you should've considered would happen if you'd given her any credit for being as intelligent as she is._

_If you're going to be angry at anyone, I suggest that you look in the mirror._

_Gordon_

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments & Subs & Bookmarks & Kudos. It's like coffee and chocolate all rolled into one. =)
> 
> Seriously, thank you. You guys make my day when you leave comments and stuff.
> 
> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Shout to to my Betas and brain storming wonders: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929

_From: Harlow_

_To: Felix_

_Subj: Torfan._

_I need you to send a message to my uncles. It was my unit that was sent to Torfan. I haven’t really spoken to either of them since I asked for a transfer out of the lab._

_You’ll see on ANN what happened eventually, so will they, I suppose. I’m hurt and on my way to the Med Bay on a ship. They might end up taking me to a hospital in Vancouver. Not sure._

_My CO left a massive mess for me to clean up; I followed orders and…ended up getting most of my squad killed. I did my job. Wasn’t that what I was supposed to do? I don’t know. Major Kyle couldn’t look me in the eyes when I saw him afterwards._

_I need new armor. It’s covered in blood…and it’s not mine. My hands keep shaking. Is this what shock feels like?_

_I have to go. The medics want me to shut my omni-tool off._

_Love you,_

_Harlow_

* * *

 

_From: Felix Santiago_

_To: Admiral Steven Hackett_

_Subj: Harlow_

_She was on Torfan. She’s injured, not sure how badly. She wanted me to let you know. I’ve kept my peace on what is going on out of respect for her, not you. You and Massani are the only parents that she has left._

_Do better by her._

_I know that you were angry at each other but I thought you would still like to know._

_I love your daughter, that’s what she considers herself. I’m going to be there for her because she needs me, but I hope you will be as well._

_I’ll update if I hear more. As soon as I know what hospital she was taken to, I’m going to book a transport._

_Felix_

* * *

 

“Do _not_ say it.” Hackett glanced over his shoulder at husband who had come running to read the message from Felix Santiago with him. “Don’t.”

“I fucking told you so you stupid bastard.” Zaeed said it anyway with a self-satisfied smirk on his face. “I still love you but you do realize that we’re going to have to be at her hospital bed as soon as goddamn possible.”

“I _know_.”

“I’ll pack; you figure out where she’s going and get us there yesterday.” Zaeed gripped him by the shoulder and bent down for a kiss. “I know you had good goddamn intentions but…I was watching a report on ANN about Torfan when you called me. It…we have to be there to help her.”

“ _I know_.”

Hackett hadn’t really thought about much else since he’d seen the initial message. He was certain that reports would start arriving in his inbox about the event. He waved his husband out of the room and focused on contacting the captain of the ship that Harlow had been assigned to.

The ship’s doctor responded quickly to let him know that Lieutenant Shepard was stable for the moment. They were transferring her to a hospital in Vancouver since they were scheduled to dock there next in any case. Hackett booked the next available transport to get them to Earth.

He stared blankly at a message that had come in from Major Mathis. He didn’t want to deal with the man right now. His mind drifted to Harlow and what she was going through. Closing his inbox, he found the latest reports from Torfan to catch up on what had happened.

_Damn it._

_Damn his stubborn foolishness to hell._

Of all the things to happen to Harlow, Hackett had never imagined that she’d find herself in a situation like that. It was bad enough that her CO had basically abandoned his damn job. Major Kyle had left her to follow orders that he couldn’t stomach. She did her duty as a marine. When everything was said and done though, he had no doubts that she was about to experience the trial by fire of being infamous for an unpopular decision.

Since Major Mathis was assigned to the base in Vancouver, he was waiting for the two men when they arrived. He grabbed Hackett by the arm to lead him around the corner. Zaeed shrugged and headed into the room to see Harlow.

“Gordon?” Hackett stared blandly down on the hand on his arm and then up at Mathis with a raised eyebrow. “I’d like to go see Harlow if you don’t mind.”

“She’s a good kid.” Mathis crossed his arms and continued blocking Hackett’s path. “This is going to be a media frenzy. She is now the face of what will be viewed as practically a massacre. Major Kyle has already distanced himself. She’ll be fresh meat for everyone. You’ve got one chance to handle this right for her. Don’t screw it up.”

“Are you finished?” Hackett didn’t need to be lectured on how to handle this.

Mathis flicked a speck of dust from his arm. “Hannah and I grew up in the same city. I knew her longer than the lot of you. Harlow looks a lot like her. You might’ve had the best of intentions but your actions put her on Torfan. You didn’t see the look on her face when she arrived all covered in blood. This is going to change her, and maybe not for the better.”

“Gordon.”

“Go see your daughter.” He pushed past Hackett. His shoulder slammed into the Admiral on his way out of the hospital ward.

* * *

 

_From: Felix Santiago_

_To: Steve Cortez_

_Subj: re: Torfan_

_She is in Vancouver._

_I’m already on my way to see her and try to keep her uncles from…I don’t know…I just need to be there._

_When are you flying out?_

_Felix_

* * *

 

Harlow had failed I her attempt to convince that doctor to let her out of bed. They wanted to run a second scan of her back later in the day and _then_ they’d talk about her release. She had fallen from a high spot in the batarian camp and landed hard on a shuttle roof. She was still waiting for the doctors to come back when Uncle Z arrived.

There were several minutes of awkward conversation and then Uncle Steven joined them. He frowned when she saluted and called him _Admiral._ His brow furrowed further when Major Mathis returned to the room with Felix. Harlow had been talking to Mathis earlier about Torfan.

He had given her good advice about handling the reporters that would be waiting for her when Harlow eventually left the hospital. He’d brought a gift for her, an old high school year book. She was surprised to find that he’d grown up in the same town as her mom. He promised to tell her stories from their childhood later.

“Hey, Princessa.” Felix moved across the room and sat on the edge of the bed. He turned his back to the other men. “How are you feeling?”

“Awkward, sore, tense.” Harlow listed her grievances in a hushed tone though she left off a few that might hurt Hackett’s feelings if he could hear her. Felix cupped her cheek and gently kissed her. “And now I feel much better. There appear to be three men in various stages of anger behind you.”

“They’ll have to wait, mi amor.” He shifted his hand so his arm went around her shoulders to hold her. “Cortez wanted me to send you a hug. He’ll be here tomorrow.”

“Poppet,” Hackett interrupted impatiently. “We need to _talk.”_

“How does he manage to convey such impending pain with only four words?” Harlow forced herself out of Felix’s embrace. He refused to relinquish his hold on her hand. She looked from him over to her Uncle Steven. “I have something to stay first.”

With a squeeze of her hand, Felix stood up and left her to talk with her uncles. He paused as he passed Hackett to warn him not to ‘upset Harlow.’ Zaeed sounded mildly affronted when he asked if they shouldn’t be the ones warning _him_ about hurting her.

Felix raised an eyebrow for answering simply, “no.”

He left the room with Mathis. Her Uncle Steven sat on the edge of her bed while Zaeed walked over to lean against the nearby wall. She pulled her legs up under the blanket and found a comfortable position with her back against a pillow.

“I’m not angry.” Harlow tried to force her tired mind to find the right words. “I understand why you did it. Most people would probably be grateful for the time that you invested in ‘helping’ my career along. In theory, you did nothing wrong.   Mathis was right to question my ability to handle actual combat as opposed to simulated enemies.”

“Poppet.”

She silenced Uncle Z with a glare and then turned her ire towards Hacket.t “You lied. I wish you hadn’t.”

“I am sorry.” Hackett wrapped his arms around her. “I’m sorry for lying and so terribly sorry that your commanding officer forced you to make such difficult decisions in the worst of circumstances.”

“Torfan made me realize that theoretical knowledge of weapons means nothing when you have to unload the clip into a living soul.” She let him hold her as much for his sake as for hers. “The consequences of staying locked up in a lab with sketches and gears is that I have _no_ practical experience in the field. What kind of marine does that make me?”

“Poppet.”

“I’m not going back. I’ll keep up with designing mods and weapons. It’s like oxygen to me. I couldn’t stop if I tried.” She leaned away from Hackett and covered his mouth with her hand. “I can’t hide in research anymore, Uncle Steven. It won’t work. Don’t you think the vultures will descend if I cower in a corner somewhere? What would my dad or mom have done? I’m not entirely responsible for what happened on Torfan but…my choices caused the deaths of a lot of marines. I won’t dishonor them by becoming a coward.”

“You’re not a coward.” Hackett scrubbed his face with his hands. “I’ll stand behind you. It’ll count for a lot as far as the brass are concerned. I _will_ not allow them to turn you into a scapegoat. Your commanding officer should have done his job.”

“No more lies.” She just didn’t have it in her to stay angry with either of her uncles. She thought that perhaps they’d all paid a sufficient price for everything that had happened. Hackett drew her back into a hug. “I love you.”

“We love you too, Poppet.” Zaeed came over to wrap his arms around both of them. “Stop goddamn crying, your little man might get the wrong idea.”

_“Uncle Z.”_

 


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are going to be some serious AU aspects of this story starting with this chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments & Subs & Bookmarks & Kudos. It's like coffee and chocolate all rolled into one. =)
> 
> Seriously, thank you. You guys make my day when you leave comments and stuff.
> 
> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Shout to to my Betas and brain storming wonders: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929

The doctor decided that Harlow could leave the next day. They had been mostly concerned about the fact that she’d been exposed to Eezo while fighting the batarians. Uncle Steven had her wait to leave until later that evening. They brought a shuttle to the roof of the hospital to fly her straight to the Alliance docks away from the crowd of reporters that were camped outside.

Harlow had spent most of the time bent over her sketchbook. She furiously scribbled designs for a weapon. It helped her avoid thinking about Torfan, dead marines and the bombshell that the Doctor had dropped on her. She didn’t stop for anything. Felix had to force her to eat something once they reached Anderson’s ship.

Not trusting anyone else to keep their travel private, Hackett had asked Anderson to give them a ride. He insisted on Harlow taking a few weeks off away from Arcturus so they were heading to small retirement community on Intai’sei. Hackett knew someone with property there that they were borrowing. Anderson would be back to take them to Arcturus in a week or so.

She sat cross-legged on the floor with her notebook in her lap. She tapped her pen against the page. Her designs could be transferred into the design program on her terminal later. It also seemed to flow better on paper first.

“Poppet?”

Harlow glanced up to find Hackett crouched beside her. “I ate.”

“Yes, I know.” He shifted down to get more comfortable next to her. “Major Kyle filed his complete report along with the other marines in your squad.”

Harlow tensed with her fingers clenched around her sketchbook. “I don’t…want to talk about it.”

“Oh, Poppet.” He tugged on one of her curls and smiled sadly at her. “It only gets easier when you let it all out.”

“What happened to my armor?” Harlow tried to deflect the conversation a little.

“I had it destroyed and bought you a better suit that will be waiting on Arcturus for us,” he admitted uneasily. “Gordon mentioned that…I thought that you might prefer a new set.”

“You were right.” She wouldn’t ever be able to wear that armor again without seeing it covered in the blood of her squad.

“The doctor handed me these brochures because you’d left them in your room.” Hackett held out the folder towards her. She knew exactly what was inside. “Is there something that you want to tell me?”

“ _No._ ”

“Poppet.” He reached out to open the page to reveal the stack of documents that the doctor had given her. “You were exposed to Eezo on Torfan. Why were the doctors running extra tests? And why did they give you all of this information on being pregnant and biotic children?”

“Uncle Steven.” She snapped the folder shut and set it underneath her sketchbook. “I didn’t know until the doctor told me. Felix doesn’t know either; I haven’t…how the…this is so screwed up. Do you remember that ANN article about the batch of birth control shots that was faulty?”

He didn’t get a chance to respond as Zaeed joined them. Her Uncle Z took one look at the two of them and walked purposefully across the room. He squatted down in front of her and pierced her with a serious look that demanded answers to what was going on.

Scratching her head for a moment, Harlow looked over at Hackett for help. He shook his head and told her that it wasn’t his story to tell. His tone was enough that Uncle Z knew that it something _big._ He fell back on his ass when she told him. Hackett grabbed his arm and pulled him up in a seated position on the floor.

“I’ll kill the little shit.” Zaeed would’ve stood up but his husband held him down.

“It’s not his fault.” Hackett sounded annoyed that he couldn’t blame Felix. “As much as I’d like to destroy him for …being alive, I think it’s time to support the two of them.”

“I’m not giving up my career,” Harlow insisted.  She’d take the cushy Arcturus job over letting her dreams fade away.

The room went very, _very_ quiet when Felix stepped into it. Harlow rolled her eyes when Zaeed clenched his fists. She gave Hackett a pleading look. He surrendered to it and dragged his husband out of the room to give her a little privacy.

“Princessa?” Felix approached her with worry evident in his eyes. “What’s the matter?”

She dumped the brochures from the folder at his feet.   Her brain wasn’t functioning enough to get the right words out of her mouth. Felix bent down to gather them up. He flipped through them very, _very_ slowly.

It gave Harlow time to get to her feet and pace the room. She wanted him to say something. Her anxiety increased with the continued silence. She almost wished her uncles had stayed if only because it was _definitely_ time for their hugging thing.

“How?”

With a heavy sigh, Harlow explained about the birth control. She figured it was either really bad or good luck. It depended on how they chose to look at it. Life would get complicated, sure, but she clung to the idea that in the end it might be a wonderful mistake.

“Stop pacing, mi amor.” Felix held his arms open and drew her into them. “You always manage to beat me to the surprise.”

“I don’t understand.” She leaned back to look at him in confusion.

He reached into his pocket to retrieve a delicate gold ring. It was a simple band with a tied knot on top. “My mother sent this to me a week ago, it was her grandmother’s. I planned to propose to you at the end of your tour.”

“A baby and a wedding?”

“No one said life would be simple. We will figure it out, Princessa.” Felix kissed the top of her head and then shifted back to brush his lips against hers. “I already asked _both_ of your Uncles for their blessing.”

“Uncle Z is probably thinking about rescinding his.” Harlow spoke though a shaky laugh.

* * *

 

_From: Harlow S._

_To: Steve C._

_Subj: So._

_I’m engaged…and…pregnant._

_I was exposed to Eezo on Torfan, my kid is likely going to be biotic._

_My Uncles have not murdered Felix…yet. You get to tell your parents for me and Major Mathis._

_And yes, I did have to one-up you because I just ‘love’ the attention._

_Harlow_

* * *

 

_From: Felix_

_To: Harlow_

_Subj: re: My mother._

_I spoke with her about the engagement and the baby. You should expect a very long message from her shortly. She’s very happy for us both. She’s been planning to move to a bigger city for the past year but now she’s considering moving to Arcturus instead._

_We have family there for one thing. But more importantly, since we both want to continue our careers. She can help look after our little one when we’re off the station. It would let you accept the N-School invitation after the pregnancy as well._

_I know that you didn't want to rely on Admiral Hackett, but I think until the baby is born, it's a great idea to pick up the development work on Arcturus again._

_We will figure this out together with our families.  _

_I love you._

_Felix_

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ring Reference: http://pixelatrix.tumblr.com/post/80070747738


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments & Subs & Bookmarks & Kudos. It's like coffee and chocolate all rolled into one. =)
> 
> Seriously, thank you. You guys make my day when you leave comments and stuff.
> 
> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Shout to to my Betas and brain storming wonders: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929

Over the course of three months, Harlow had managed to resolve a lot of the quandaries that being pregnant had left for her. Felix’s mom, Maritza, had insisted on getting to know her better. They’d spent a lot of time preparing the nursery in the apartment that Felix and Harlow had gotten together.

The little place was big enough for them and the baby. It was almost equal distance between her Uncles’ home and Martiza’s new place.   Her ideal plan had more or less worked to perfection. She took up a position working in a different research lab.  She would be there until a few months after the baby.

It would be a lot of hard work to catch up with her N-courses, but if Harlow pushed it. She figured that she could the first three courses within a year. The rest would be easier to handle. She glanced over at the package that had been delivered earlier.

She had gotten distracted while messaging with Steve about his upcoming wedding. The box had been set aside. It _drew_ her over. She always found it hard to resist a mystery, especially since the gift-wrapped package hadn’t come with a note.

Carefully easing the paper off of it, Harlow lifted the lid of the box. She found the sweetest little stuffed toy animal. It looked like a grey wolf, maybe an Iberian. Felix’s mother often called him Lobito. It had been a childhood nickname. She wondered if it were from Maritza.

Setting it aside, Harlow glanced back in to find a baby blanket. Underneath the soft, dark grey fabric, she found a photo album filled with digital images of what had to be Felix as an infant. She didn’t recognize the man in the photos, that he bore a striking resemblance to her fiancé.

“Where the hell did you get that?” Felix stood in the doorway. He appeared mesmerized by the stuffed wolf that sat next to her on the couch.

Harlow lifted up the now empty box. “This arrived today; I thought maybe your mom sent it over?”

“No.” Felix grabbed the blanket to stare at it. “I haven’t seen this since your Uncle helped us escape my father.”

“Maybe he sent them?” Harlow frowned down at the items and then at Felix when he snatched them all up to toss into the trash disposal in the kitchen. “Felix?”

“Vido Santiago doesn’t do anything without a plan and a reason. It is best if we pretend that we never received the items, Princessa.” Felix pressed his lips against the top of her head and then sat beside her.

Harlow brought her hand up to cover his mouth. She frowned at him when he started to kiss the palm of her hand. “ _Felix._ ”

“Mi amor?”

“Why did you just throw away what were clearly your childhood toys?” Harlow wanted a real answer. She pulled her hand away from his lips.

“My father is a bad man.” He gave her the explanation that she always received about Vido.

“That isn’t an answer. It is a description, and not even a clear one.” She folded her arms and glared at him.

“You bear a striking resemblance to your Uncle Steven when you do that.” He tapped the tip of her nose with his finger. “There isn’t a reason to talk about my father any more than we already have.”

“Yes, there is. I’m about to have his grandson. He clearly knows about it and intends to have some sort of contact.” Harlow refused to be patronized by him or Zaeed on the subject of Vido Santiago. “I want answers.”

“I don’t have them,” he shrugged.

“Fine.”

Standing up, Harlow stepped around him and headed out of the door. She hopped onto a shuttle to head towards the Alliances offices. Zaeed wouldn’t respond much differently from Felix. She hoped Uncle Steven would give her a real explanation.

It wouldn’t take long for Felix to track her down. Harlow had grown up on Arcturus though. She knew the quickest routes across the station. She made it to the Admiral’s office within ten minutes.

“Poppet?” Hackett looked surprised to see her when she stepped inside. “What did he do?”

“You always think the worst.” Harlow threw herself down into the chair across from him. “ _He_ didn’t do anything, not exactly.”

“What _exactly?”_ He pulled a package of raspberry cookies out for her. He always kept something for her to snack on in his office.

“Vido Santiago.”

“Ahh.” He held up his hand for her to give him a moment as he turned to his terminal.

* * *

 

_From: Steven_

_To: Zaeed_

_Subj: My Office. Now._

_Get your ass over her._

_Our daughter has questions about Vido that you will answer without getting angry or defensive or threatening towards her fiancé._

_Is that clear?_

_Steven_

* * *

 

“You have more faith in Uncle Z than I do.” Harlow had a feeling this was all going to end very badly. “Any news on Major Kyle?”

“He was honorably discharged and has fallen off the grid. We have no idea where he went.” Hackett scratched his jaw for a moment. “How are you doing, Poppet?”

“Doing?”

“Torfan.”

“Uncle Steven.”

“Don’t blow me off on this. You haven’t talked about it to anyone, not even during your psyche eval.” He tapped a finger against one of the datapads on his desk. “You can talk to me.”

“I don’t _want_ to talk to you or anyone else about it. I followed orders. I did what the Alliance told me to do. It went badly. What else is there to say?” Harlow had been a little _creative_ during her psyche evaluation.  She’d talked circles around the idiot that had been sent to interview her. “I made my peace with it.”

“Really?” He leaned forward until his elbows rested on his desk. “Then why do you have dark circles around your eyes? Why do you keep ending up sleeping in your old room at our apartment when Felix isn’t home?”

“You said you missed me.” Harlow attempted to turn it around on him.

_“Poppet.”_

“I can’t bring them back, Uncle Steven. I followed orders and maybe I shouldn’t have. It’s too late to change any of it though. I have to live with it and talking about it doesn’t make it any better.” She decided to go with an answer that might satisfy him.

“Hmm.” He frowned at her before moving around the desk to crouch in front of her chair. His hands rested on the arms of it. “It wasn’t your fault, Poppet.”

 _“Don’t.”_ Harlow knew that her voice sounded strained. She couldn’t afford to have him push her too hard on this. It might cause everything that she’d held in for weeks to overflow. “Please.”

“I should’ve known that you’d talk your way out of the psyche test,” he said ruefully. “It’s just me, Poppet, not the _Alliance_ or a doctor. You can talk to me.”

“I know.” She reached out to touch a finger to his wedding band. “I’m doing ok. It’s pregnancy hormones and all that.”

He shook his head in disagreement. Harlow knew it would be impossible to completely dissuade him. She finally decided to give him a _partial_ truth by admitting that she hadn’t been sleeping well. He raised an eyebrow as if he knew there was more to it.

Shifting up to sit more comfortably on the edge of his desk, Hackett reached out to hold her hand tightly. He started to tell her a story about one of his first missions after he’d been given his own command early in his career. One of his decisions led his entire squad into a trap; the only other survivor had ended up saving his life.

_The survivor?_

_Ezra Shepard._

“I struggled after that mission. Ezra told me that marines go into battle expecting to win while knowing that death was always a possibility. You make decisions, and hope for the best. You can’t let loss weigh you down, it has to be motivation.” He pulled her up into a hug when she got teary-eyed. “Zaeed and I are proud of you, Poppet.  You followed orders on Torfan. The only person to blame for the loss of life is the brass who put you into that position in the first place. Ezra and Hannah would be _just_ as proud as I am, if not more so.”

“If that _boy_ made her cry, I’m going to beat his ass and toss him out of the nearest airlock.” Zaeed’s growl interrupted them.

“Uncle Z.” Harlow glanced over her shoulder at him. She stumbled a little when he dragged her out of Hackett’s arms. “Stop threatening the father of my child.”

“No,” he grumbled.

She eased herself out of his arms and stood between him and Hackett. “Tell me about Vido Santiago.”

“Why?”

“He sent a gift for the baby and Felix immediately tossed it into the garbage.” She paused when Zaeed smirked. “Stop that. I want some answers and my fiancé refuses to give them to me.”

With a frustrated sigh at his husband, Zaeed gently pushed Harlow back into the chair. He paced the office while periodically muttering curses at Hackett. She waited patiently for him to decide _how_ much he was willing to tell her.

He started by explaining how he met Vido long before joining the Alliance or meeting Hackett. The two men had been friends back on the streets of Barcelona. They lost touch when he signed up. It wasn’t until after the First Contact war that they started talking about starting the Blue Suns.

She knew that was what led to the separation of her Uncles. Zaeed briefly reached out to squeeze Hackett’s hand before continuing his story. He told her about helping Maritza escape with Felix when Vido started to be more than over-bearing but teetering on the edge of abusive.   It was what began their feud.   It compounded with the man’s decision to hire batarians.

The arguing eventually led to the ultimate betrayal of Vido’s attempt on Zaeed’s life. He explained everything that happened that ended with him in the hospital. Harlow moved from her chair to hug him tightly. She remembered seeing him unconscious on the bed.

“Vido Santiago is a manipulative bastard. If he’s reaching out to you, it’s because he hopes to gain something from it.” Zaeed massaged her shoulders lightly. “Trust me, Poppet. He is _not_ good person. He wants me dead. Martiza and Felix were _his_. I’d wager that he wants them back or dead. You’re going to be a target for him because of your connection to the three of us.”

“Why didn’t you tell me this before?” Harlow tilted her head to glare up at him.

“You were too little to understand at the time. And after, it just…I never imagined that you’d end up shacking up with his goddamn kid.” He grumbled at her in return. “Did you have to bloody pick a Santiago?”

“Yes.”

“Can I shoot him _now?”_ Zaeed asked Hackett over Harlow’s head.

“No.”

_“I hate you all.”_

“Am I interrupting?” Felix stepped into the office in time to see Hackett trying to stop Harlow and Zaeed from throwing _all_ of the pieces of candy from the container on his desk at each other. The floor was littered with them. Her fiancé stepped over to her. He cupped her face with his hands and kissed her despite the glaring from one of her uncles. “I’m sorry, Princessa.”

“I want to shoot him.” Zaeed whined under his breath to his husband.

“No.” Harlow shot him an annoyed look. She turned back to her _soon-to-be_ husband. “We have to be able to talk about this stuff.”

“I know.”

“Do you?” Harlow brought her hand up to stop him from kissing her again. “I’m serious, Felix, it matters. I know what not communicating does to a relationship. Look at those two, not communicating cost them years together and basically put the cranky one in the hospital. I love you. I am not a fan of secrets and I don’t want to be treated like I can’t handle things like the truth about Vido Santiago.”

“I am very sorry. I’ll do better, I promise.” Felix smiled at her when she tugged on the stubble on his chin.

“Can I…” Zaeed was cut off with a ‘no’ from Hackett. “Bastard.”


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments & Subs & Bookmarks & Kudos. It's like coffee and chocolate all rolled into one. =)
> 
> Seriously, thank you. You guys make my day when you leave comments and stuff.
> 
> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Shout to to my Betas and brain storming wonders: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929

_From: Vido Santiago_

_To: Harlow Shepard_

_Subj: My Grandchild._

_You have no reason to listen to me. I understand that. I’m confident that my son and your uncle have poisoned you against me. Why else would you refuse to respond to my previous messages?_

_I am a man who has made many mistakes in his life. I simply want the opportunity to apologize._

_Family is important. Mine was taken from me, or maybe I gave it away. I’m sure you understand how it feels to lose your family._

_I would like the chance to get to know you, my son and your child._

_Please at least consider it._

_Vido Santiago_

* * *

 

Harlow thought long and hard about what to do with the message. She didn’t delete it which was probably a mistake. She hadn’t deleted his other messages either. It was added pressure that she didn’t need at almost eight months.

The past few months had been a whirlwind for her. Steve and Robert’s wedding had gone without a hitch. Felix had wanted her to have a ‘real’ wedding like theirs. She thought the idea of being in front of a massive crowd was terrifying.

In the end, they married on the bridge of Mathis’ ship. He performed the ceremony with the only witnesses being her Uncles and Maritza. Felix and Harlow had already made up their minds to put the honeymoon off until after little Francisco Ezra was born.

With her due date less than two months away, Harlow was _ready_ for him to be out. She pulled herself to her feet. Off all the men in her life, Uncle Steven was likely to be the most understanding.

_She hoped._

“Poppet?” Hackett got up out of his chair to help her over to the couch in his office when she walked into his office. “Have you never heard of a vid-comm?”

“Walking is _good_ for me and the baby.” Harlow refused to play invalid.

“How’s my grandson treating you?” Hackett called his yeoman in to cancel his meeting and order sandwiches for lunch.

“Exhausting.” Harlow rubbed her belly absently.

“Poppet.” His eyes watched her intently. “Did something happen?”

“First, please remember that stress is bad for the baby,” she said pointedly. “Vido has been sending me messages…for several months.”

Hackett’s head shot sharply and his back went ramrod straight. He spoke in a quiet tone that generally meant he was _furious. “_ Messages?”

“Messages.”

_“Explain.”_

“Messages. Short noes sent over the extra-net from one account to another.” Harlow was tired. Her back and feet hurt. She resented every single man in her life at the moment. She decided that snapping at him was a bad idea so leaving would be wise. “I’m going home.”

 _“Harlow._ ” His voice echoed loudly in his office.

She stopped in the process of struggling to her feet. She sank back into the seat. Hackett grabbed a bottle of apple juice and walked over to hand it to her. It was the one thing that she’d craved throughout her pregnancy.

“What did his messages say, Poppet?” Hackett helped her get the lid off of the bottle.

“He was nice,” she shrugged.

“Nice?”

“Uncle Steven.” Harlow placed a hand over her stomach. “I don’t feel so good.”

“Home or hospital?”

“Home.”

Being pregnant was very convenient when Harlow needed a break. She waited until Hackett had escorted her home. She got comfortable on the sofa and pulled up her omni-tool. There was one person that she could go to for advice that wouldn’t freak out on her.

* * *

 

_From: Harlow Shepard_

_To: Gordon Mathis_

_Subj: Arcturus._

_Any chance that you’re heading here any time soon?_

_I need someone to talk to that isn’t deranged or prone to fits of annoyance._

_Please?_

_Harlow_

* * *

 

Mathis joined her for breakfast the following morning at a bakery and coffee shop near the apartment. Harlow showed him the messages on her omni-tool. She nibbled absently on her muffin while he looked through them.

“Have you told your Uncles?” Mathis let her shut her omni-tool. He smiled sympathetically when she explained her botched conversation with Hackett. “Vido Santiago seems like a manipulative bastard. He shouldn’t be bothering you while you’re pregnant. He should have the balls to talk to Felix directly, or Massani.”

“Yea.”

He reached out to take both of her hands in his larger ones. “You should block his address, at least until after the baby is born. And I think you need to talk to your husband about this. It’s his father, and _his_ wife that is being pressured.”

“Yea.”

He chuckled deeply and squeezed her hands. “Felix is a good kid. Talk to him.”

“Yea.”

“Harlow?” He tapped a finger against one of her knuckles until she look up. “Why did you ask me here?”

“My mother…had a letter that her lawyer was supposed to forward to me on my wedding day. Since we essentially eloped, it just arrived last week.” Harlow met his eyes. “My father, Ezra, was reproductively challenged. Did you know that?”

“I…”

“You did know.” Harlow watched the normally impossible to faze Mathis swallow hard. “She said that they spent a lot of credits trying to get pregnant. They finally decided that the only possible way would be to use a donor.”

“Harlow.”

“I’ve seen pictures of my maternal grandmother.   I have her freckles, complexion and red hair. My mother had brown eyes, as do I.” Harlow gestured towards her chin and nose. “But the rest has always been a mystery. I’ve stared at images of Ezra, now that I’m an adult, and they aren’t his.   Now I know why. They must be from my biological father. It’s fascinating to me that they look so much like yours.”

“Poppet?” Hackett stepped into the bakery before Mathis could respond to her. “Gordon.”

“Steven.” Mathis released her hands and turned towards her Uncle. “Harlow and I were just catching up.”

“Catching up on what?” Hackett asked suspiciously. “Are you two…”

“Are we what?” Harlow looked at him in confusion and then it dawned on her. “Oh. My. God. How the hell could you even think that? Uncle Steven, he’s old enough to be my father.”

It took a moment for what she had said to dawn on her. She slammed her mouth shut and stared pointedly at her muffin. Her eyes shot back up when a chair fell to the ground in time to see Mathis grab her Uncle by the shirt and drag him out of the bakery. She _waddled_ after them to attempt to keep them from killing each other.

“What the _hell_ is the matter with you?” Mathis had her uncle pinned to a wall. “I would _never_ touch that girl in an inappropriate way. If you _ever_ insinuate anything along those lines, I swear to fucking god, I will beat your ass from one end of Arcturus to the other.”

“I suggest that you put me down, _now_.” Hackett seemed completely unfazed by the threat.

“I will never forgive either of you if this makes the baby come early.” Harlow rested her hand on the wall and took a few deep breaths. “Mathis and I are _not_ having an affair.”

“Then what is going on?” Hackett shook out the wrinkles in his uniform once the other man let go of him. “That did _not_ look like ‘catching up.’”

“I need to sit down.” Harlow spun _slowly_ and retraced her steps into the bakery. She refused to stand on sore feet. The two men sat on either side of the table and glared at each other. “Stop it. I’m pregnant and sore and tired. I’ll tell Uncle Z that you made me cry and he’ll shoot both of you.”

“Poppet.”

“I’m not having an affair with Mathis. I asked him to have breakfast with me because I needed his advice and…” She didn’t know how Hackett would respond to any of this. “It’s personal.”

“Personal?” A flash of hurt immediately crossed his face. “Personal. I see.”

“Uncle Steven.” She grabbed his hand before he could stand up. “You don’t understand.”

“Then explain it to me.”

“I don’t think I can.” She held his hand tightly to keep him from pulling away from her. “No, listen; I wanted his advice about how to deal with Vido. You all have biased opinions.”

“I can understand that.” Hackett covered her hand that was holding his. “But I don’t think that’s everything.”

Harlow hesitated for several long minutes.   She didn’t want to talk to anyone else about her mother’s letter until she’d had a chance to hear what Mathis had to say. It was a discussion that needed to happen in private. Uncle Steven would _definitely_ tell Uncle Z.   This was turning into even more upheaval that she didn’t need in the last bit of her pregnancy.

With her fingers crossed under the table, Harlow went with a partial truth. She told him that with the impending _addition_ to the family. She’d had a sudden urge to know more about her mother. Mathis knew Hannah when they were both kids and also knew her family. Her own memories were a little fuzzy.   She claimed to have asked him to Arcturus to pepper him with questions.

“You could’ve asked me.” Hackett reached down to pull her other hand out from under the table. He smiled at her crossed fingers. “You’ve been doing that since you were nine years old.”

“Uncle Steven.”

He stood up with a heavy sigh and gently extracted his hand from hers. “I’ll leave you to your _private_ conversation.”

“Fool.” Mathis watched him leave. “He’s always been a stubborn fool. A brilliant military mind, and an idiot at the same time.”

“I _won’t_ tell him that you said that.” Harlow stared dismally down at her muffin. For once, her appetite had failed her. She decided to get straight to the point. “Were you the donor that helped my parents get pregnant?”

 

 

 

 


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments & Subs & Bookmarks & Kudos. It's like coffee and chocolate all rolled into one. =)
> 
> Seriously, thank you. You guys make my day when you leave comments and stuff.
> 
> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Shout to to my Betas and brain storming wonders: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929

_From: Steven_

_To: Zaeed_

_Subj: Come Home._

_I need help with the Poppet._

_Steven_

* * *

 

The café side of the bakery had gotten far too crowded for a quiet and _private_ conversation. Mathis suggested that they head either to his ship or her apartment. He had spent the past twenty plus years wondering if this conversation would ever happen and didn’t want to have to worry about it being overheard.

They headed to her apartment since it was closer than the sky-port. Harlow made herself comfortable on the couch. She used a few cushions to proper herself up while Mathis sat across from her in an armchair. He though it would keep her from straining her neck to look up at him. He waited patiently for her to say something.

“You never answered my question.” She grasped at her sketchbook that was on the couch underneath a pillow. She flipped absently through it. He thought she seemed nervous.

“Your mother was my best friend. I’d have done anything for her.” He had done anything that she asked at the cost of a very heavy heart. “The answer is yes.”

“Why haven’t you ever….why didn’t you tell me?”

“Your mother’s lawyer sent me a letter after she died that asked me to give Massani and Hackett a chance to raise you.” Mathis had resented Hannah for a long time for it. He’d honored her request though. It seemed the least that he could do for her memory. “And then you wound up in my recruit class.”

“So…you’re my father.” Harlow seemed to have difficulty with the word.

“Ezra was your father, and a damn good one.” Mathis had come to terms with that a _long_ time ago. “Your two deranged Uncles are your parents. I’m just…”

“Mathis.” She cut him off. “You got me through boot camp and the aftermath of Torfan. Even without your DNA, you’d never be _just_ anything.”

“Harlow.” He refused to complicate her life. It was a promise that he’d made to Hannah.

She continued talking like he hadn’t spoken her name. She felt her son deserved to know _all_ of his grandfathers. It didn’t matter if he had more than the average kid. Her eyes met his and he was struck once again by the resemblance to Hannah.

“I can’t call you dad.” She hugged the sketchbook to her chest. “It would be weird. I’d like to have you in _our_ lives as more than just my former drill instructor.”

Her finger pointed to a wedding photo on the nearby wall as she spoke the last sentence. It was one taken on his ship after Felix and Harlow had married. She’d stuck a sonogram image of the baby on edge of the frame.

_A family portrait._

He steeled himself to refuse. It would be simpler for her. He had a contentious relationship with Hackett at times, especially when it related to Harlow. She didn’t need to be put into the middle of it.

“You should talk with Felix, and your Uncles.” He had meant to say a firm, ‘no.’

“Mathis.” She rolled her eyes at him. “Do you _not_ want to be family? I won’t force this one you. I thought….it’s…Felix has his mom. Vido is certainly _not_ a father. I love Uncle Steven and Uncle Z. But my parents are dead. I remember and miss them so much, even after all these years. And now I find out that I still have…”

He frowned at the tears gathering in her eyes. “Harlow?”

“They don’t know about everything that you did for me after Torfan.” She dragged the back of her hand impatiently across her eyes. Neither of them wanted to think about that long night in Vancouver when she arrived at the hospital after Torfan. “I’m tired.”

He stood up and stepped over to drag the quilt at her feet up over her. He told her to rest and that he’d let himself out. She caught his hand and asked him to at least think about it.

“I will.” Mathis left the apartment and strode as quickly towards the Sky Port as his long legs would carry him. He sighed exhaustedly when he spotted Hackett waiting for him. “Steven.”

“What are you doing with my daughter?” Hackett kept his voice low.

The urge to retort that Harlow was _his_ daughter was stronger than it had ever been. Instead, Mathis stepped into the airlock without bothering to acknowledge Hackett’s question. He stormed towards his quarters with the Admiral on his heels. He had a good few inches on the man height wise so he stayed standing in the middle of the room to glare down at him.

“Ezra once told me that you’d been in love with Hannah,” Hackett said casually. “It’s the only time I ever saw him jealous of anyone. And then all of a sudden, Hannah was pregnant and you disappeared. Are you sure you’re not trying to reclaim that old flame with Harlow?”

Mathis surged the few feet across the room and grabbed Hackett by shirt. He dodged the fist that was thrown at him. It wasn’t long before the two men were wrestling on the ground in his quarters.   The floor was littered with the things that had been on his desk. His chairs were knocked over. They stopped after they each got a few good hits in.

“We’re too old for this shit.” Hackett collapsed on his back with a groan. He had a hand on his side. “I think you broke a rib.”

“You’re a stubborn old fool.” Mathis shoved the man on the arm and then got to his feet. He offered his hand to him and helped Hackett up. He dragged his hand across his now busted lip. “Harlow is…”

“They asked you for help.” Hackett looked at him with understanding flashing in his eyes. “I knew that they’d used a donor to get pregnant. It was you, wasn’t it?”

His initial reaction was to tell the man it was none of his damn business. Mathis shrugged and then nodded. He could still remember Hannah hesitantly asking him like it was yesterday. She’d worried that it might cause him a lot of pain in the end. Ezra had won the woman that he loved, and would in some ways, be raising his child. He had told her not to worry, he’d be fine. He hadn’t been fine.

“Why the hell would you agree to it?” Hackett asked stunned.

“I never could tell her no.”

“Gordon.” Hackett rubbed his side gingerly. “I’m sorry for accusing you of having an affair with your own daughter.”

“She’s…” He wanted to throw Hackett off of his ship and be done with the conversation. “Apology accepted. I’ll let you see yourself out, if you don’t mind.”

“Are you dismissing _me_?” Hackett looked mildly amused.

“Yes.” Mathis reached over to grab a spare t-shirt to hold to his lip until he could get medi-gel. “Get your ribs checked out.”

“She won’t let this go.” Hackett hesitated by the door. “Harlow treasures her family very closely to her heart.”

“Have a good day.” Mathis turned his back on the man. He wasn’t having that conversation with Hackett. He licked at the dried blood on his lip.

Once Mathis had his quarters to himself, he told his XO to set a course for Terra Nova since they had to drop off supplies to the Alliance depot there. He glanced over at the small frame that sat on the top shelf of his locker. It had been taken when he was eighteen, before joining the Alliance. Hannah stood at his side. They were laughing at something her father had said.

“Damn you, Hannah.” He slammed the picture down so he didn’t have to look at it. “Damn you.”

 

 


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments & Subs & Bookmarks & Kudos. It's like coffee and chocolate all rolled into one. =)
> 
> Seriously, thank you. You guys make my day when you leave comments and stuff.
> 
> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Shout to to my Betas and brain storming wonders: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929

_From: Zaeed Massani_

_To: Gordon Mathis_

_Subj: The Poppet._

_I don’t give a damn what your issue with my husband is._

_Harlow gave birth to a very healthy boy this morning. Francisco Ezra Shepard-Santiago was born a week early._

_Get your stubborn ass to Arcturus to see your grandson. Yes, Harlow told me about it. Mostly because I found her looking at some old family photos of Hannah’s while crying her eyes out. I don’t like seeing my Poppet cry. I will shoot you in the fucking ass if you aren’t here by the end of the week._

_Hannah should never have bloody made you promise to leave Harlow alone. It was selfish of her. Steven and I have had a number of interesting arguments about you in the past week. Sort your goddamn shit out. Leave Steven to me, and the Poppet. She inherited those big brown eyes for a reason._

_Zaeed_

* * *

 

Harlow had spent two days in the hospital before being bundled up and taken up with little Francisco. Felix has hovered over both of them. He’d gotten a month of leave to spend time with them. Harlow would take three months of leave and then be back on active duty herself. She still had N-school to consider but for the moment, the tiny baby in her arms was all she wanted to think about.

“He’s perfect.” Felix sat on the edge of the couch as she finished nursing the baby. He touched the soft skin of the teeny hand that rested on Harlow’s arm. “The most precious things in the world to me.”

“Smooth talker.” She smiled at him and shifted to find a better angle. “I think it’s time for his nap.”

“Can I put him down, Princessa?” Felix took Francisco out of her arms and wandered down the hallway. She heard him murmuring to his son in a low voice as he burped him.

Adjusting her shirt, Harlow started to head into the kitchen to find something to eat. She diverted towards the door when it buzzed. Mathis stood with a small box in his hand when she opened the door.

“I…” Harlow was stunned to see him. She’d given up on him being interested in anything other than the loose friendship that they’d forged together. “Why don’t you come in? I’m going to make tea and…I have no idea what to say to you.”

“Hello?” He suggested with a smile before offering the package to her.

Harlow waved him inside. She opened the box to find a tiny stuffed tiger inside. “Thank you.”

“It’s for the…” He pulled himself up straight and tried again. “It’s for my grandson. Your mother loved tigers. Her whole room was filled with them as a teenager.”

“I had no idea.”

Harlow stared down at the little stuffed animal as she walked blindly into the living room. Mathis took her by the arms to redirect her when she almost walked into a table. She shook her head with a laugh. It was the third time in the past week that she’d run into a piece of furniture.

“Major Mathis?” Felix glanced between the two of them when he returned. He walked over to Harlow to gently kiss her forehead. “Would you like to see your grandson?”

Mathis raised an eyebrow at Harlow who shrugged. She refused to keep secrets from Felix. The ‘Vido’ secret had been bad enough. It had almost caused a rift in their relationship until she took the Major’s advice and talked to her husband. She didn’t want to ever make that mistake again.

They led him down the hall to the little nursery off of their bedroom. Francisco hadn’t quite fallen asleep yet. He lay on his back and blinked up at them. Harlow watched Mathis’ face as he bent over the crib for a better look at the baby.

“You can hold him.” Harlow placed a hand on Mathis’ arm. “He won’t break. Even Uncle Z has managed to successfully hold him.”

When Mathis still didn’t move, Harlow reached it to lift the baby and placed him into his arms. Mathis shifted his arm to support Francisco better. She leaned back against Felix who slid his arms around her waist.

“Welcome to the family.” Felix stretched a hand out to grip Mathis’.

“Thank you.” Mathis gaze was focused solely on the infant that he held.

* * *

 

_From: Harlow S._

_To: Steve C._

_Subj: re: Francisco._

_So when exactly are you bringing your old married behind up to Arcturus to see your godson? Hmm? I’m waiting?_

_So. I have…news. I was going to wait until you got here but you’ve been derelict in your duties._

_I received this message from my mom that her lawyer was holding for me. It turns out that Ezra Shepard wasn’t my biological father. My parents weren’t able to conceive the natural way so they had a sperm donor, a friend of my mother’s._

_You aren’t going to believe who it was._

_And you’ll have to wait until you get here for me to tell you._

_Harlow_

_P.S. Yes. I know, I’m evil._

 

 

 


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Potential Trigger Warnings.
> 
> Mentions of thoughts of suicide.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments & Subs & Bookmarks & Kudos. It's like coffee and chocolate all rolled into one. =)
> 
> Seriously, thank you. You guys make my day when you leave comments and stuff.
> 
> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Shout to to my Betas and brain storming wonders: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929

Harlow stepped into the living room to find her Uncle Steven and Mathis at each other’s throats…again. Steve edged around them to explain to her that he’d accidentally let slip how she wanted to work at Armax designing weapons. Mathis had then wanted to know why she changed her mind.

It hadn’t taken him much to make the leap to Hackett’s influence over Harlow. They were _still_ arguing loudly about it. Steve apologized but told her that they wouldn’t stop when he tried to separate them.

“Could you keep your voices down?” Harlow didn’t want them to wake Francisco from his nap.

“You didn’t see her after Torfan.” Mathis continued as if he hadn’t heard her.

“I was there.” Hackett moved up until they were toe to toe.

“Not that night.” Mathis shot back angrily. He stepped back when Harlow placed a hand on his arm.

Hackett looked between the two of them sharply. “What happened at the hospital after Torfan, Poppet?”

“Watch Francisco, please?” Harlow spoke to the other two men in the room.

She grabbed Hackett by the arm to lead him into the privacy of her little office. It was where she sketched all of her designs. She sat heavily in the desk chair and pointed him towards a rocking chair in the corner. He shrugged when she told him to stop arguing with Mathis.

“It’s exhausting.”

“Tell me about after Torfan.” He brought her back to the conversation that he _wanted_ to have.

Harlow stared dimly down at her hands. “My armor was caked in dried blood. It was in my hair, everywhere and none of it mine. Some nights, I wake up and I can feel the blood dripping on my face.”

“Oh, Poppet.” Hackett dragged his chair over to take her hands in his.

“Mathis found me on the hospital roof. There’s that viewing deck up there.” She couldn’t meet his eyes. She was terrified of the disappointment that would be there. “I had…I tried to…I can’t tell you.”

“Harlow?” He tugged on her hands. “Look at me, Poppet.”

She lifted her eyes finally to meet the concern in his. “Please.”

“It can’t be worse than what I’m imagining at the moment.” He eased closer to pull her into a hug.

“I had my pistol with me.” Harlow needed space to tell this story. She wiggled out of his arms and moved over to look at something on her bookcase. “Mathis…”

She wandered over to the door and asked the man in question to join them. It was impossible for her to tell her uncle everything that he wanted to know. Part of the reason for that was simple that she didn’t _remember_ a lot of it. Shock had made most of that night a complete blur for her.

“Harlow?” Mathis frowned at her as he joined them.

“I need you two to get along.” She grabbed his hand and then with her other hand took Hackett’s. “Not just because I think you both love me, but the arguing is killing me. I’m not expecting miracles but at least promise to try. For me?”

Once they had both reluctantly nodded, Harlow asked Mathis to fill in the blanks of the story for her. She kept her back to them to avoid Hackett’s reactions. She didn’t want to see how he’d respond.

Mathis got comfortable in the chair that she’d vacated. He stretched his arm out to take Harlow’s hand. “How much do you want me to tell him?”

“Everything.”

He glanced over at Hackett with an uncomfortable smile on his face. “This isn’t going to be pleasant for either of us.”

* * *

 

_Vancouver, Hours after Torfan…_

_“Where is she?”_

_Major Mathis stepped into one of the small rooms off of the emergency room at the hospital where Lieutenant Shepard was supposed to be. The young nurse by the bed shrugged at him in response. After a few sharp words about not letting wounded marines wander around, he headed out to find her._

_Harlow sat on a bench on the viewing deck on the roof of the building. She still had her bloody armor on. His attention was more directed to the pistol in her hand._

_“Shepard.” Mathis spoke quietly in order to not spook her. “This isn’t the emergency room.”_

_“No, Sir.”_

_Mathis breath caught in his throat when Harlow turned brown eyes towards him. She had her mother’s eyes. Hannah had been his best friend since childhood. What Harlow didn’t know was that many years before Hannah and Ezra had asked for his help in getting pregnant._

_He had never claimed her as his out of respect for her parents’ wishes. He had tried to keep an eye out for her. His fury at Hackett for getting her into this mess could be assuaged with when he saw the man._

_“Let’s get you out of that armor.” He tried to pull her up but stopped when the gun shifted. “Why don’t you let me take that?”_

_“No, Sir.”_

_The barrel was pointed up at her head. Mathis was going to tear Hackett a new asshole when he saw him. Harlow wasn’t built for active duty. His greatest fear had always been how she would handle combat. He knew Hannah had struggled with it._

_“I knew your mother.” Mathis softened his tone and kept his voice calm. He eased down on the bench beside her. “We grew up together. She was one of my best friends.”_

_“Really?” Harlow said dubiously. “Why did you never come to visit?”_

_He wasn’t quite sure how to answer that question. He’d stayed away after Hannah confirmed that the in vitro had worked. It would’ve been too awkward for everyone involved._

_“It’s complicated.”_

_“Uncle Steven says that when he’s afraid that his answer will hurt my feelings.” Harlow smiled for a brief moment. She turned her gaze to the gun in her hands. Her fingers tightened on the grip. “He’s going to be so disappointed in me. All those dead marines.”_

_“Hackett’s a fool but he’s not that stupid,” Mathis muttered._

_“Why don’t you like my uncle?” Harlow pushed the gun closer and it took all of his self-control not to yank it out of her fingers._

_“He pushed you into the Alliance for reasons that were selfish without considering the fact that you aren’t cut out for it.” Mathis decided not to sugarcoat it. “If you wanted to make a difference in the world, there are other ways to do it without military service.”_

_“I know.”_

_“Then why?”_

_“It’s the family business. Uncle Steven wasn’t going to stop hounding me about it. I figured the Alliance would let me design weapons, that’s all I wanted to do. I didn’t want to upset him. Now look at me?” Harlow waved the gun towards the blood. “I got my squad killed. Should’ve been me.”_

_“No.”_

_Getting up from the bench, Harlow walked listlessly over to the edge of the deck. Her eyes were focused on the gun in her hands, not the beautiful night sky or the city in the distance. He had to get the weapon away from her. He’d seen marines after an intense firefight who lost friends. They usually dealt with survivor’s guilt that weighed heavily on them. His daughter would not get lost under it, even if she never knew why he cared so much._

_He hesitated for a second and then stepped up beside her.  Harlow shifted further down out of reach. He watched anxiously as she fidgeted with the weapon. She had a casual familiarity with weapons. It impressed him during boot camp, but terrified him now._

_“I’d like you to hand me your pistol.” He watched her out of the corner of his eye while keeping himself facing forward. “I’d like to get you into clothes that aren’t covered in blood. And then we can sit, have some coffee and talk about why you feel like that gun is an answer to the pain in your heart.”_

_“Sir.”_

_“Call me Gordon, or Mathis. Right now, I’m a concerned friend who cares about you.” He left out that if she didn’t set it down and someone else walked in on them. She’d be looking at Cat-6. “I make a really good cup of coffee.”_

_“I can’t.” She pulled further away from him and her finger traced the trigger._

_He was running out of time. He thought about all the times that he’d talked Hannah out of doing something that would’ve gotten them both in trouble. Not often enough._

_“Of course you can.” Mathis turned his hand over and shifted the palm of his hand closer to her. “All you have to do is set it down, right there. Nothing difficult about it. The hard part is realizing that you’ve got nothing to feel guilty about. The Alliance failed you and your squad. Major Kyle failed you and your squad. You did nothing but what I trained you to do in basic. I’m proud of you, Shepard. Proud of you as a marine and a person. Now give me that damn pistol, I’m tired and hungry.”_

_To his immense surprise and relief, Harlow hesitated and then slid the weapon along the top of the wall towards his hand. Mathis kept his movements slow as he took it and slid it into the back waistband of his uniform. He’d get it back to her much, much later._

_“Coffee?”_

* * *

 

Mathis snapped out of the memory to find that Harlow had disappeared mid-telling. He glanced up to meet Hackett’s eyes. The man looked shell-shocked.

“Thank you.” Hackett held his hand out to Mathis. “We’re not going to agree on much. And she’s my damn daughter, but she’s yours too.”

“It’s alright, Admiral. I still think you are a complete idiot.” Mathis shook his hand firmly.

* * *

 

_From: Harlow_

_To: Uncle Z_

_Subj: Torfan._

_I finally told Uncle Steven…well…Mathis told him about that night at the hospital._

_What if he’s really upset about it?_

_I miss you. Stop chasing Vido. He hasn’t messaged me since Francisco was born._

_Love,_

_Harlow_

* * *

 

“Poppet?”

She looked over the top of Francisco’s head when Hackett stepped quietly into the nursery. She rocked her son in her arms. He moved across the room and wrapped her in a hug though he was careful not to crush the baby.

“Uncle Steven?” Harlow didn’t dare meet his eyes. “You know.”

“I do.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Why?” He asked confusedly. He continued on before she could answer. “I’ll do better with Mathis. I love you, Poppet.”

“I love you too.” She handed Francisco to him. “Will you watch him for a moment?”

She stepped out of the bedroom to find Mathis still in her office. “You still owe me a cup of coffee.”

He glanced away from the family photo on the wall towards her. “I did get you clean clothes.”

“Hey Mathis?”

“Do _not_ say thank you.”

 


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments & Subs & Bookmarks & Kudos. It's like coffee and chocolate all rolled into one. =)
> 
> Seriously, thank you. You guys make my day when you leave comments and stuff.
> 
> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Shout to to my Betas and brain storming wonders: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929

_From: Felix_

_To: Harlow_

_Subj: re: Francisco._

_My poor Princessa._

_We miss you too._

_Francisco is with my mother for now. ‘Grandpa Z’ had him last week. I’m attaching a vid of him. Can you believe how well our three year old is doing with learning to control his biotics already?_

_My tour on the new ship starts at the end of the week. Our first stop is Benning, so we can spend a few hours together at least._

_How is the N7 course going? Hackett tells me that you’re heading out on your final test in the morning._

_I love you, Princessa._

_Felix_

* * *

 

_From: Steven_

_To: Zaeed_

_Subj: The Poppet._

_I’m heading to Benning to check up on her._

_How’s the bounty on Illium going?_

_Steven_

* * *

 

Harlow had spent the past couple of years working through the N program. She had Francisco and Uncle Z with her through the first two courses in Rio. She went through the others with her son on Arcturus with either Maritza, Felix or one of her uncles.

After her N7 course was completed, Harlow would have a month of shore leave. She looked forward to some uninterrupted time with her husband and her son. She would then be off to join Anderson on the _Normandy_ as XO.

Outside of the small Alliance depot on the outskirts of Benning, Harlow sat cross-legged on a hilltop with her sketchpad in her lap. She was working on a new concept for a smaller pistol design. It had been a _mission_ of hers for the past year.

“Hello.”

“Gordon?” Harlow looked up from her journal and smiled up at him. He took a seat beside her. “What are you doing here?”

“Sightseeing.”

“In uniform?”

“I wanted to check in on you.” Mathis glanced down at her latest design. “You know, if you tweak that gear that you’re using, it’ll reduce the possibility of the weapon overheating.”

“ _Good_ idea.” Harlow scribbled a few notes for herself in the margin of the diagram. She turned curiously towards him. “Do you…”

Mathis reached into his back pocket to pull out a small, well-worn leather notepad. He handed it over to her. Harlow flipped slowly through the pages and pages of intricate sketches. She traced the lines of one with her finger.

“So I’m not a freak.” Harlow had spent years trying to figure out where her obsession came from. “No one else in the family sees designs in their head. I’ve been doing this since I was three or four. Mom once whispered that I was just like my father, but…I never saw him, Ezra, do anything like this. And I never understand why she said that.”

“My mother used to have a drawing on her fridge that I made when I was five years old. It was for a grenade launcher.” He reached over to flip a few pages in the little pad that she held to a mode for a sniper rifle. “I named that one after you. It’s the H.R. mod.”

“I have that on my rifle.” Harlow bent over to get a closer look at it. She handed the book back to him and lifted up her own journal.

For over an hour, they sat on the hill and poured over their designs. They compared their differing styles. Harlow found it fascinating that they used similar quick fixes for certain problems. She was asking his advice about her latest _creation_ when she spotted a familiar figure climbing the hill towards them.

“Uncle Steven.” She left her journal in Mathis’ hands to run over to give him a hug. “I didn’t know you were coming for a visit. Did you know Gordon designs weapons mods? How brilliant is that? I’m not the family freak…well…not the only one.”

“You are _not_ a freak, Poppet.” Hackett squeezed her tightly. She still managed to catch the glare that he sent towards Mathis. She poked him in the side which caused his glare to shift to _her._ “Yes?”

“You promised to try.” She reminded him.

“I _am._ ”

Harlow smothered a giggle with her hand. “You look like Uncle Z after you’ve told him that he can’t shoot Felix.”

“Poppet.”

“What? You do.” She gave him a squeeze and stepped out of his embrace. “I love you.”

* * *

 

_From: Steve C._

_To: Harlow S._

_Subj: re: N7._

_I’d say congrats but it was rather overshadowed by events, wasn’t it?_

_Please tell me that someone got a vid of them going at it. Sorry. Not helpful. You did realize that this was going to happen at some point, right?_

_What set them off this time?_

_Steve_

* * *

 

_From: Harlow S._

_To: Steve C._

_Subj: Re: N7._

_It was humiliating._

_They were rolling around on the ground like a pair of boneheads in front of the entire damn base. I’m not talking to either of them unless they apologize to me and each other. I don’t even know what set them off._

_I had a great day with Gordon who apparently designs weapons mods like I do, which is so…I felt awesome about it. You know how hard school was for me. And then…I don’t know what happened._

_I’m heading back to Arcturus._

_Harlow_

* * *

 

“Sit your ass down, _now._ ” Zaeed shoved Hackett down onto the couch in their living room. He gestured for Mathis to take a seat as well. “What the _fuck_ were you thinking? What’s the matter with you? Fighting…have you lost your damn minds?”

“Zaeed.”

“The Poppet is not talking to either of you, which…is saying something. When does Harlow ever stop talking to anyone?” Zaeed turned stormy eyes towards his husband. “I love you, very much. But you are _wrong_. You were wrong twenty-five years ago too. Why can’t you let it go? Mathis made the right decision.”

“We made a decision _not_ to talk about it.” Hackett started off of the couch only to be pushed down on it again.

“I think it’s time to goddamn talk about it.” Zaeed pointed to Mathis. “If we don’t _talk_ about it, you two fucking morons are going to continue to tear Harlow apart. She deserves better from both of you.”

Zaeed kicked his husband hard in the shins when he compressed his lips and glared pointedly towards the wall. He was _tired_ of this shit and Harlow was as well. He had no problems with resorting to banging their heads together repeatedly.

“Steven.” Mathis leaned forward in the chair with his elbows resting on his legs. “You made a tactical error during the war. I disregarded your orders. And I was _right_. Have I ever told anyone outside of the people in this room who were there in the first place? No. You got the credit for a job well done. I don’t understand why this has turned into a twenty year battle between us.”

“I…” Hackett rubbed a finger along the scar on his cheek. “I have resented the fact that you were right and that you had to save my life.”

“And you resent that Harlow is my daughter.” Mathis went bluntly forward to the crux of the problem. Zaeed stayed standing in front of Hackett. He didn’t think another brawl would help anything. “I’m in her life now, Steven. I’m not walking out of it because you have a guilty conscience. That is _not_ my problem. It’s yours. You can suck it up and deal with it or you can’t. How many times do I need to break your ribs before you realize that you can’t intimidate me into backing down? I know you love _your_ daughter. She knows it. My relationship with her does not _negate_ yours. My career does not _negate_ yours. You are the only person hung up on the one bad decision that you’ve made in your career.”

“Gordon.” Zaeed held a hand up to get the man to stop yelling. He frowned when the door buzzer went off. He stepped over to find Harlow with Francisco on her hip. “Now is _not_ a good time, Poppet.”

Her head canted to the side and she dodged around him into the room. She set the three year old on the floor and he immediately attached himself to Zaeed’s leg. He grinned up at his Grandpa Z and demanded juice.

Harlow ignored the hand that Zaeed had on her arm. She pulled way form him and headed into the living room. She raised a hand to stop Hackett when he started up off of the couch.

“Poppet.”

“Going to fight again?” Harlow had her hands on her hips as she glared down at him. “Do it in front of my son and I will _never_ speak to you.”

“Poppet.” Hackett grabbed one of her hands. “Gordon and I were just reaching an understanding.”

“Oh?”

“Yes, they both realized that they are too goddamn old for this shit.” Zaeed winked at her. He groaned when Francisco immediately started hopping around and saying ‘shit.’

“Uncle Z.” She gave him a horrified glare while Mathis threw his head back and laughed loudly. “I will shoot you all where it hurts the most.”

Zaeed’s grin widened at her. “They’ve settled their differences.”

“Have they?” She asked skeptically.

“We have.” Mathis stretched his arm out to take her other hand. “We have common ground in you.”

 


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments & Subs & Bookmarks & Kudos. It's like coffee and chocolate all rolled into one. =)
> 
> Seriously, thank you. You guys make my day when you leave comments and stuff.
> 
> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Shout to to my Betas and brain storming wonders: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929

_From: Harlow_

_To: Uncle Steven_

_Subj: re: Grissom Academy._

_My baby is too young for the academy. Don’t laugh at me. Mean man._

_Tell ‘Grandpa Z’ that if he teaches Francisco one more swear word, I will find something drastic and terrible to do to him._

_We’ve got the entire crew on the Normandy now. I think we have one more stop for supplies, and then we’re off to Eden Prime._

_Is there a reason that the spectre is glued to my side? It’s a little weird. Uncle David has been giving me his evasive ‘no idea what you’re talking about’ look. Why does he think that works? I’ve known him since I was seven. _

_Doctor Chakwas said to tell you that I’m eating and sleeping._

_You both realize that I am not only a fully grown adult but a wife and mother and a commander in the Alliance, and N7._

_Please stop treating me like I’m still eight._

_Love you,_

_Harlow_

* * *

 

_From: Gordon Mathis_

_To: Harlow Shepard_

_Subj: re: Vido._

_Why am I always the tie breaker on advice when the other men in your life disagree? What does Martiza think?_

_I will say that you have enough on your hands with a new command, a husband and a son. Ignore Vido. Forward the messages to Massani, I’m sure that he’d be more than willing to deal with him._

_How’s your head after the prothean beacon? Hackett let me know what happened but you were in the Med Bay unconscious when I spoke to Anderson._

_Gordon_

* * *

 

Sitting on a bench in the Presidium, Harlow stared across the immense open space outside the embassy. The _Normandy_ had been on the Citadel for several days. She was waiting for Udina and the Council to decide when to officially name her a spectre.

The crew had gone to Flux but drinking and gambling never really interested her. Harlow stayed in front of the fountains alone with her sketchbook in her hands.   Her latest design was something that she’d been working on with Mathis. It had been one of the most enjoyable development projects that she had ever worked on.

“Commander Shepard?”

Harlow closed her journal and glanced over at the man standing behind the bench. “Mr. Santiago.”

“Now is that anyway to greet your father-in-law? Call me Vido.” He sat beside her with his hand resting on her arm when she started to stand up. “I only wish to talk.”

“I am hours away from being a spectre. No one will blink an eyelid if I shoot a known mercenary.” Harlow raised an eyebrow at him and then gazed pointedly down at his hand. “Do _not_ touch me.”

“I want to see my grandson.” His fingers tightened on her.

“And I’d like to spend my life working in my own research lab designing and testing experimental rifles.” Harlow reached down to pry his fingers from her. “Yet, here we are, both headed for extreme disappointment in life. Walk away from me. I might hesitate to shoot you this time, but my husband, uncles and…others in my life won’t offer the same courtesy.”

“You’re too sweet to threaten a man like me.” Vido smiled unpleasantly at her before standing up. “Be sure to tell Zaeed that I owe him a bullet.”

Harlow got to her feet slowly. She slid her hands into her pockets and focused her gaze on him. “Threaten my family again and you might discover just how intimately familiar I am with military hardware.”

“The ‘Poppet’ has claws.” He sneered the nickname at her.

“No.” She unholstered her pistol and lifted it up casually. “I do have a weapon with enough bullets to remove your head from your shoulders. Would you like to test that theory?”

“You should’ve fought harder to stay out of the Alliance.” Vido seemed completely unconcerned with the weapon pointing at his chest. “You don’t have the hardened soul that being a spectre and commanding officer requires. It’s going to eat you alive from the inside out and leave you with nothing. Your _precious_ uncles haven’t done you any favors by convincing you to follow in your parents’ footsteps.”

One of Udina’s aides called out to her from the embassy; Harlow let Vido back away from her and headed over to find out what the ambassador wanted. By midday, she was not only the first human spectre but had command of her own ship which was on its way to find an asari doctor.

* * *

 

_From: Felix_

_To: Harlow_

_Subj: re: Your Father._

_Next time, Princessa, you might want to use the weapon not just point it at him._

_I don’t know what he wants, but I do not believe it has anything to do with wanting a relationship with me or our son. I know how your Uncle Z will respond, but I still think that you should speak to him. I’ll leave the decision up to you._

_And yes, mi amor, maybe he is correct about your being a marine. But you’re here, and you can only do your best. It’s taking you this far, right?_

_Perhaps now is the time to talk with Admiral Hackett about your thoughts on retirement after your tour on the Normandy is complete? Or ask Mathis for advice if you’re afraid to broach the subject with Hackett first?_

_I’ll support whatever you want to do._

_My ship is heading to Arcturus for a week. Any chances that you’ll be in the area?_

_I love you._

_Felix_

_P.S. Francisco has apparently discovered that he can use his biotics to steal cookies. My mother is very amused by this._

* * *

 

_From: Uncle Steven_

_To: Harlow_

_Subj: Hail._

_Why aren’t you answering my hails, Poppet?_

_Captain Anderson told me that you had a visitor on the Presidium. I haven’t mentioned it to Zaeed yet, I will eventually. I’d like to know what happened though._

_I’ll make it an order if I have to._

_Uncle Steven_

* * *

 

_From: Harlow_

_To: Uncle Steven_

_Subj: re: Orders._

_I’ve already had my confrontation of the week. You’re going to have to wait your turn. You also promised never to use orders against me in personal situation._

_I handled the Vido situation, despite what your ‘sources’ told you._

_I’m heading down to Therum now. If you want a sit-rep on Vido in person or via vid-comm, you’re going to have to wait until I’m finished._

_Sorry, Sir._

_Harlow_


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments & Subs & Bookmarks & Kudos. It's like coffee and chocolate all rolled into one. =)
> 
> Seriously, thank you. You guys make my day when you leave comments and stuff.
> 
> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Shout to to my Betas and brain storming wonders: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929

Harlow never made it to the conversation with her Uncle Steven. She had returned from rescuing Doctor T’soni to find yet another message from Vido. This one had an attachment that caught her full attention. It was a partial vid of a meeting between Hackett, Udina and Anderson regarding her name being put forward for first human spectre.

It immediately reminded her of the cushy research assignment that Harlow had received straight out of boot camp. _He promised._ He promised not to use his influence to affect her career like that again. She wouldn’t take the information from Vido at face value though so she asked Joker to set a course for the Citadel. Anderson would be easier to get answers out of than Udina or her Uncle.

She found him alone in Udina’s office. “Uncle David.”

“I take it that this isn’t an official visit.” Anderson walked over to the balcony with her.

“Did Uncle Steven encourage the spectre thing?” She glared at him when he hesitated. “How _much_?”

“No more than I did. Nihlus put your name forward, we just agreed with his assessment and filled in the blanks that that council had.” Anderson squeezed her shoulder. “You should ask him.”

“Right.” Harlow decided not to point out that the last time she confronted Hackett about something like this…it hadn’t gone all that well. “Thanks.

“Harlow.”

“I’m meeting Felix for lunch.” Harlow ducked out of the room as Udina stepped into it.

Her husband was in a heated conversation with Zaeed when Harlow arrived at the restaurant. She leaned up for a kiss but Zaeed grabbed her arm to drag out her outside. She frowned at him and tugged her arm until he released her.

“Uncle Z?”

“Hello, Princessa.” Felix joined them in a more secluded hallway a few feet away. He wrapped an arm around her waist and placed a light kiss on her neck. “It’s ok, Mi Amor.”

“What the BLOODY hell are you doing having conversations with Vido Santiago?” Zaeed exploded at her angrily. “Why don’t you invite him for fucking tea with Francisco and Maritza? Have you lost your damn mind?”

“I…”

He continued ranting at her for several minutes. Harlow gave up trying to respond and leaned her head against Felix’s shoulder. She waited patiently for Zaeed to run out of angry energy. He eventually seemed to realize that they were just watching him.

“Vido _contacted_ me. He _approached_ me.” Harlow felt suddenly exhausted of the entire damn conversation. “He dragged me into your issues with him. Don’t yell at me for it.”

“He’s a goddamn mercenary.” Zaeed’s voice went up even louder.

“And what _were_ you?” She took a step forward. “What _are_ you? A mercenary is a fancy name for a gun for hire. Isn’t that what you do, Uncle Z?”

“Poppet.”

“I’m not blind. I’m not an idiot or a little child that doesn’t understand what a bounty hunter does.” Harlow had little to no temper but what she did have was starting to rise. “I’m going inside to eat lunch with my husband.”

“Poppet.”

“No.”

“ _Poppet.”_

“Maybe we should take this somewhere private?” Felix pointed to the C-sec officers that were watching their conversation with interest.

“I’m planning on enjoying some alone time with Felix.” Harlow glared at Zaeed. “You aren’t invited.”

“Vido wants to have us arguing.” Zaeed blocked the restaurant door.

“Then you shouldn’t have started yelling at me for something that is out of my control.” Harlow rested her hands on his arms to push him out of her away. She stared sadly at him. “Just leave me alone for a while.”

* * *

 

_From: Felix Santiago_

_To: Steve Cortez; Gordon Mathis_

_Subj: Closing ranks._

_My father is up to something. He has managed to put a little crack in the relationship between Harlow and her uncles that I’m trying to prevent from growing wider._

_Now might be a good time to pay her a visit._

_She needs someone to confide in that isn’t me…or her uncles._

_Felix_

* * *

 

“Mi amor?” Felix set his omni-tool aside and glanced down at the woman beside him on the couch. She was scribbling away in her sketch-pad.

She tilted her head to look over at him. “I want to feel…happy, not stressed.”

“I can help with that.” He reached up to run his fingers through her mass of curls. “Are you finished with the new design?”

“It can wait.”

Felix still remembered very clearly the first time that he saw Harlow at boot camp. It was love at first sight for him. He hadn’t looked at another woman since.

Grabbing her hand, Felix led her into the bedroom. He had borrowed the apartment from a friend who was on Arcturus for a few days. He wanted to be able to take his time with his wife, not on a ship or anywhere else that they could easily be interrupted.

He smiled when Harlow blushed as he undressed her.   She never seemed to understand how utterly stunning she was to him. He took less time with his own clothing and soon they fell onto the bed together.

His arm went around her waist with his hand underneath to lift her up on top of him. Harlow wriggled around on top of him until she got herself positioned just right. She laughed when he tickled her sides.

His tickling touches turned to slow caresses. Harlow reached between their bodies to reposition his cock so that she could rub her pussy along the shaft. His eyes were locked on the swaying movement of her body over his. She bent forward slightly and he couldn’t resist reaching up to cup her breasts in his hands.

“Felix.”

His thumbs lightly grazed just around the edge of her nipples before shifting his hands down to grasp her hips to lift her up. “Guide it in for me, Princessa.”

He helped her rise up further to reach between them again. They breathed dual satisfied sighs when he then lowered her down onto his cock until she came to rest on top of his thighs. He always loved to watch the expressions that flitted across her face during moments like this. She might not be very vocal but that wasn’t the only way to convey her feelings.

“Move for me,” he encouraged.

His hands on her hips applied a gentle pressure to ease her forward and then back.   Felix thrust up slowly to meet her movements. He wanted to let it build up to the immense pleasure that would erase the stress and worry for at least a little while.

Bending forward further, Harlow pressed her mouth sweetly to his. Her tongue tentatively met his. Felix felt her lips curve up into a smile when he started to increase the pace.

As she rode him faster, Felix tilted his head to capture one of her nipples in his mouth. His tongue swirled lightly around it. He pulled off for a second to tell her to play with her clit. She groaned when he sucked the nipple into his mouth again.

Her fingers grazed against his taut muscles and paused to toy with the dark hairs that lined the path on his stomach down to his cock. She twisted her hand to allow her fingers to reach between them. He felt her body clench around him when she finally found her clit.

Sitting up slowly, Felix wrapped his arms around her to keep her pressed to him. Harlow made slow circular movements with her hips to grind down on his cock. His lips found the sensitive spot along her neck to suck on. She clung to his shoulders as she started to drive her body down against his.

“Felix.”

He tilted his head up so their lips could meet. Her quiet moans were lost in his mouth. He clutched her tightly to him as they came together.

“My lovely, lovely Princessa,” he murmured. He shifted them down on the bed with his cock still inside of her. She burrowed further into his arms with a contented sigh. “Happy?”

“Always.”


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments & Subs & Bookmarks & Kudos. It's like coffee and chocolate all rolled into one. =)
> 
> Seriously, thank you. You guys make my day when you leave comments and stuff.
> 
> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Shout to to my Betas and brain storming wonders: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929

_From: Steve C._

_To: Harlow S._

_Subj: Arcturus._

_So we’re in dry-dock at the moment, I’m bored, come visit me._

_My dad broke the skycar that I left for him. Help me fix it. I promise that no admirals need to even know that you’re there._

_Steve_

* * *

 

_Inter-Relay Text Chat_

_Location: Citadel_

_From: Harlow S._

_To: Gordon M._

_H: Are you still awake?_

_G: Packing for a trip to Arcturus._

_H: Arcturus? Felix messaged you and Steve, didn’t he?_

_G: He did._

_G: How are you doing?_

_H: Ok._

_G: So you messaged me in the middle of the night to chat about…?_

_G: Why don’t you meet me for breakfast on Arcturus?_

_H: Admiral Kahoku asked me to help find his missing men. And the Alliance needs me to pay a visit to a compound where Major Kyle is holed up with his little cult._

_G: The Alliance?_

_H: Uncle Steven._

_G: Tell him to assign the mission to someone else. The Fifth Fleet has plenty of ships in the area._

_H: I want to do it…to talk to Kyle._

_G: Why?_

_H: I need him to…I just need to hear him explain why he shirked his command._

_G: No matter what he says, I don’t think it’s going to be what you want to hear._

_H: I have to try._

_G: I want you to promise me that if you have any thoughts like you did after Torfan, you message me or Felix._

_H: Gordon._

_G: Promise._

_H: I promise. Look I have to go; Joker just let me know that we’re ready to go._

_User has disconnected._

* * *

 

Mathis caught the first available transport to Arcturus. He worried about Harlow would handle seeing her former CO. She didn’t need to be put in a dark head space with all the family drama going on.

The _Normandy_ didn’t dock on Arcturus for three days. Mathis tried to contact Harlow but she ignored his hails. Felix hadn’t been able to reach her either. He didn’t bother asking the Admiral since he wasn’t sure he could be near the man without decking him. The only thing that anyone had received from her was the official report on Major Kyle.

She had apparently been unable to get Kyle to surrender. The situation had devolved when cult members attacked one of her crew members.   Mathis had a feeling that this would only had to his daughter’s troubles.

“Major Mathis?”

He looked up from to find Steve Cortez stepping up to the viewing deck railing beside him. They glanced over at the _Normandy._ Some of the Alliance crew members were standing by the airlock, no Harlow in sight though.

“She left the ship the moment it arrived.” Steve shoved his hands into his jeans pockets. “Alenko told me that Harlow tried to speak to Kyle. He turned it all around on her. Williams intervened when the Major called her the Butcher of Torfan and a murderer.”

“Damn it.” Mathis was seriously rethinking his agreement to be _cordial_ with Hackett. He should _never_ have sent Harlow to deal with Major Kyle. “Any idea where she went?”

“No, Sir.” Steve looked worried as he tapped his fingers against the railing. He twisted the wedding band on his finger. “We used to go to a little used shooting range when we wanted to get away from our parents and school. She might have gone there.”

“Shooting range?”

“Yes, Sir.”

The shooting range was near an old recruitment office. It had been abandoned for a larger one that was closer to the sky-port. Harlow was in the very last booth of the range. She had her pistol pointed at a target that was already riddled with holes.

“Harlow.” He spoke quietly when she stopped shooting to switch her clip out.

She lifted her hand when he came closer, but to his relief also set the weapon down on the counter with her other hand. Her fingers clenched at her side. From the tired lines on her face, it looked like she hadn’t slept in days.

“I shot him.” Her voice was devoid of emotion. “He…you were right.”

He tried to draw her into his arms. She took a step back. Her fingers rested on the weapon. “ _Harlow._ ”

“Butcher of Torfan.” She muttered more to herself than to him. Her haunted eyes lifted up to pierce through his. “Will it be the only thing that I’m remembered for?”

“No, it…”

“I never wanted to do this,” Harlow interrupted him. “To _be_ this.”

With slow, methodical movements, Harlow stripped the pistol down until it was a pile of parts. He watched her put it back together with impressive speed. She picked it up to fire at the target once more.

“Let me buy you some coffee.” Mathis figured that getting her away from weapons might be the best thing. It would also lower his stress level.

“How do I hold my son with these hands?” She held her hands with her palms up in his direction as if they were covered in blood.

Stepping closer to her, Mathis covered her hands with his. He pulled her into his arms. He felt her tremble slightly and then her body tensed as if to keep a hold of the emotions. She needed her _entire_ family right now. He had a new found appreciation for Zaeed’s anger towards Vido.

“Do I actually get coffee this time?” Harlow asked as he led her out of the range.   She leaned into him. “I wasn’t…I didn’t…I didn’t message you because I had no intentions of breaking my promise. I just needed some time to think.”

“You’re letting Kyle and Vido mess with your head. You shouldn’t.” Mathis glanced up to find Steve trying to pretend that he was just _randomly_ waiting nearby. “I’ll let you spend some time with your buddy. I have a visit to pay to your Uncle Steven.”

“Be nice.”

“I’m always nice.”

* * *

 

_From: Felix Santiago_

_To: Steve Cortez_

_Subj: re: Major Kyle._

_I wondered why Harlow didn’t message me the last few evenings. We always talk every evening. I agree with you, it is time for a family intervention. I won’t let my father screw this up for her._

_Keep Hackett there. Yes, I am aware that he’s an Admiral. I’ll apply for a few days of emergency family leave. I’ll see if I can get Zaeed to head home as well. Let Mathis know, he can probably help with Hackett and Harlow._

_Vido is not allowed to ruin my wife’s happy family._

_Felix_

* * *

 

_From: Felix Santiago  
_

_To: Zaeed Massani  
_

_Subj: Poppet._

_Do you love your Poppet more than revenge and your desire to be right?_

_Answer that question and either continue chasing Vido’s shadows or head back to Arcturus because she needs you._

_Felix_

 


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments & Subs & Bookmarks & Kudos. It's like coffee and chocolate all rolled into one. =)
> 
> Seriously, thank you. You guys make my day when you leave comments and stuff.
> 
> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Shout to to my Betas and brain storming wonders: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929

Harlow knew that something was up when she stepped into the Cortez’s house. Steve had bugged her to come over before she headed back to the _Normandy._ She walked into the living room to find her entire family there. Steve blocked the entrance when she started to turn around.

She was too busy glaring at her best friend and thinking of ways to _pay_ him back for this. She didn’t notice Zaeed until he pressed something into her hand. She raised an eyebrow at him in surprise.

“Uncle Z?” Harlow stared down at the chocolate bar that he’d shoved into her hand. “What…oh my god…you still remember that?”

“Chocolate makes everything better, right?” Zaeed hesitated for a moment and then had to catch her when she threw herself into his arms. “Not too old for a hug, eh?”

“I am _very_ angry with you.” She refused to admit that she was sniffling against his shirt.

“It’s ok, Poppet.” Zaeed kept her crushed against him. “I think everyone in the room is pretty angry with me as well.”

“Damn right,” Mathis agreed.

With a quiet laugh, Harlow untangled herself from her uncle. She glanced around at everyone. She didn’t like all the attention focused on her. Felix glared pointedly at Zaeed then came over to embrace her. Francisco wriggled out of his Grandpa G’s lap and raced over to them. He squeezed between their bodies and insisted on joining the hug.

“ _Your son,_ ” Harlow teased Felix.

Francisco looked up at her in confusion. “Was Grandpa Z bad again?”

There were several muffled laughs from around the room while Felix took their son into his bedroom. Harlow could hear him explaining in a low voice that ‘ _no, Grandpa Z wasn’t bad…again._ ’ Francisco was often way too insightful for his own little four year old self.

Her attention turned to the rest of _her_ family. Hackett looked the most guarded out of all of them. She couldn’t tell if he was still upset with her. She went over to sit across from them. Felix came back in and sat on the arm of the chair she was in. His hand rested on her shoulder.

“I’m sorry.” Harlow wasn’t sure who she was apologizing to. The scrutiny from them all made her feel incredibly uncomfortable. Felix squeezed her lightly. “I’m supposed to be on my way to Feros. Why are we all here?”

“ _We_ are all here because _we_ love you.” Hackett scratched the side of his jaw. Harlow hid a smile. He always did that when he was seriously thinking about something. “I need to…”

She frowned at him when her uncle stood up and walked over to her. He took her arm to pull her to her feet to lead her out of the apartment. He didn’t stop until they’d reached a small playground not far from the Cortez’s house. She’d played there often with Steve.

She got into one of the swings and sat watching Hackett pace in front of her. “Uncle Steven?”

“I pushed you into the Alliance.”

“Yes.”

He smiled at her immediate agreement. “I’m so very sorry if my hopes for you overshadowed your own dreams. I was wrong.”

“Wrong?” Harlow gasped dramatically. She smiled when he glared at her. “Why now?”

“I should’ve apologized a long time ago. But…I never realized that my error in judgment would provide Vido Santiago with an angle to attempt to destroy your family and happiness.” He walked up to stop her mid-swing. His fingers wrapped around hers on the chain. “I love you so much, Poppet. I want the best for you.”

“Did Mathis beat you up again?” Harlow noticed the slight bruise on his jaw.

“We might have traded punches,” Hackett shrugged.

She grabbed him by the shirtsleeve and dragged him back to the Cortez’s place. She glared at Mathis and then Hackett. “You broke your promise.”

“I had a good excuse.” Mathis was completely unmoved by her reproving look. “Your _Uncle Steven_ sent you to deal with the man that left you to lead your squad through hell on Earth. He had to know what that would do to you. Yet, he still ordered you to attempt to talk down Major Kyle. He _used_ you. That is _not_ acceptable for a _parent_ or a _Commanding Officer._ He knows better. And I didn’t hurt him…much.”

_“Gordon.”_

“What? How many years have I had to stand by and watch without any reason to interfere on your behalf?” Mathis lifted Zaeed’s restraining hand off of his arm. “Even if I was _only_ your former drill instructor, I would _still_ have punched the man.”

“Well this is going splendidly,” Martiza remarked calmly into the tense atmosphere. “Why do men always feel the need to beat on their chests? I thought you wanted to help Harlow. I was led to believe that the purpose of bringing her here was to show her how loved she was. How is all this anger helping anyone other than Vido?”

“My mother,” Felix smiled proudly.

“Grandpa Z.” Francisco bounded into the room with his tiger dangling from one little fist. Zaeed crouched down to lift him up. He rested his head on his grandpa’s shoulder and stared at everyone. “Want pizza.”

“In a moment.”

“ _Now._ ”

“Francisco.” Felix halted the demand with a quietly spoken word. “Enough.”

“Why weren’t you ever that easy?” Zaeed grumbled at Harlow.

“I’m a product of my raising,” Harlow retorted.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments & Subs & Bookmarks & Kudos. It's like coffee and chocolate all rolled into one. =)
> 
> Seriously, thank you. You guys make my day when you leave comments and stuff.
> 
> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Shout to to my Betas and brain storming wonders: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929

For the first time in what felt like forever, Harlow sat down to breakfast with _just_ her husband and son. They were normally surrounded by at least one grandparent. She loved them dearly, but it was good to have quiet or not so quiet moments together without the extra family around.

While Francisco dunked his _toast_ marines into his soft boiled egg, Harlow talked to Felix about _the future_. They both wanted another child. They _both_ understood that with two parents on active duty, it was a complicated issue.

She reached out to steady Francisco’s glass of juice. After a few bites of her own toast, Harlow explained the idea that had been simmering in her mind for the past six months. She intended to resign her command once Saren was captured. The Council wouldn’t be able to complain about her also retiring from the spectres.   Someone else could carry the title of _human spectre._

She wanted to start her own research and development company on Arcturus. It would allow her to be closer to Francisco, and make it easier to _plan_ on that new member of the family. It also let her follower the ream that she’d been clinging to for so long.

“Have you spoken with your Uncle?” Felix stepped into the kitchen to get a refill of coffee.

“I thought _we_ should talk first.” She smiled when he returned to lean across the table for a kiss.

“Mine. Mine.” Francisco waved jam covered fingers at her for a kiss of his own.

Harlow kissed his little hand and then grabbed a napkin to wipe his fingers. Felix took the empty, but messy plate and glass so Francisco wouldn’t knock them over. She set him down to play in the living room.

“He’s growing too fast.” Harlow clung to Felix’s hand when he reached out to her. “If I worked on the Citadel, we could do this more frequently.”

“I support _any_ dream that you have, Princessa, whatever it may be.” He brought her hand up to kiss which led to another round of Francisco wanting his fingers kissed. “He’s definitely my son.”

“Will you tell Uncle Steven for me?” Harlow’s gaze followed their son as he played with the skycar set that his Grandpa Z and Grandpa Steven had gotten for him.

“Mi Amor, I would walk across fire for you, but you have to face your Uncle yourself.” He stepped up behind her to wrap his arms around her. “He loves you.”

“He _loves_ the Alliance,” she sighed. “I should do it now while he’s still feeling guilty about the argument we had.”

“We’ll be here, Amor.” He pressed his lips to her neck. “My mother is going to watch the little one for a few hours this evening so I can take you out.”

A date?”

“Yes. So be _brave,_ Princessa.” He guided her towards the bedroom with a whispered ‘I love you.’

It took her a little longer than anticipated to leave since Francisco wanted to go with her. Harlow changed out of her pajamas into a pair of black jeans and a dark grey t-shirt. She left Felix to corral the rambunctious four year old while she headed out.

Her first top was to pick up Hackett’s favorite coffee and breakfast pastry. Uncle Steven wasn’t at his office though, so Harlow made her way to his apartment. Uncle Z answered her repeated knocking. He immediately stole the coffee and pastry from her.

“Uncle Z.”

“Why exactly are you bringing my husband a bribe, Poppet?” He ripped the pastry in half to give her part of it. “Are you finally leaving the Alliance?”

She choked on the bite of food. “What?”

“I’m surprised it took you this goddamn long.” He ruffled her curls. “I’ll tell him that you’re here and that he needs to listen.”

Harlow threw her arms around him. “I love you, Uncle Z.”

“I love you too, Poppet.” He wandered off with the coffee.

Taking refuge on the couch, Harlow brushed the crumbs from her fingers on her jeans. Her mind wandered anxiously over all the possible responses that Hackett might have to her news. Each one seemed more dramatic than the last.

“Harlow?” He sat beside her on the couch and covered one of her hands with his. “So what brings you away from your husband and my grandson? And _why_ is my husband insisting that I break the habits of a lifetime and actually listen for once?”

“I’m…leaving the Alliance when my six year stint is up. I’ve done two six year tours. I’m done.” Harlow shifted nervously beside him with her gaze firmly on the floor. “I want to start my own weapons and mod design firm. Here on Arcturus. Uncle Steven?”

He shot up to his feet and paced in front of her. “Is this _really_ what you want?”

“Yes.”

Hackett crouched in front of her. His brow furrowed and his lips pressed in a thin line. “How long has this been a dream of yours, Poppet?”

“Does it matter?”

“Yes.”

“Twelve years, or more. Probably more.” Harlow regretted the admission immediately when a flicker of pain crossed his face. “Uncle Steven…”

“I am _so_ sorry, Poppet. Hannah and Ezra would likely skin me alive if they knew that I’d pushed you away from pursuing your dreams and forced you into the Alliance.” Hackett stood up and walked across the room. He stopped in front of the family photo on the wall. “I don’t know how you even talk to me.”

“I love you. I respect you. And I have admired the amazing Admiral that you are.” Harlow followed him over. She leaned her head against his arm. “You’re my Uncle Steven. I didn’t want to disappoint you. The Alliance was good for me, but it’s not _‘for me.’_ ”

“Pursue your dreams, Poppet.” He wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “How can I help you?”

* * *

 

_From: Steve C._

_To: Harlow S._

_Subj: re: Pinnacle Station._

_Like you actually had to ask?_

_Seriously?_

_Of course I’ll join you and Felix on Pinnacle Station. I’ve been dying to check out their simulations. Think they’d let us look at the tech behind it?_

_Probably not._

_Robert’s been temporarily assigned to the second fleet. I miss my husband._

_Steve_

_P.S. Good luck on Feros._

* * *

 

With the mission on Feros complete, Harlow had intended to head directly to Pinnacle Station. Things had been delayed by a panicked hail from Kahoku. She owed the Admiral too much not to immediately divert the _Normandy_ to finding him.

_They were too late._

Kaidan and Ash stayed with her in the shuttle bay beside the Admiral’s body. Once a ship from Arcturus had arrived to retrieve the body, Harlow told Joker to head straight to Pinnacle Station. She knew she wasn’t in the right mind to fight, but needed to give her grief somewhere to go.

“Princessa?” Felix dragged her away from a second confrontation with Vidinos and over into a less populated corner of the room. “What has upset you, amor?”

“Felix.”

“No, I have never once seen you behave as recklessly as you have today.” He cupped her face with his hands. His brown eyes filled with concern. “What happened, Princessa?”

“We found Admiral Kahoku’s body. He was murdered. I didn’t make it to him in time to rescue him.” Harlow pressed her face against his chest, ignoring the discomfort from the armor that he wore.

He eased her back and gently rubbed her nose. “I am so sorry, Princessa. Is his family having a memorial? I’ll go with you.”

She shrugged.

“Let’s go home. The _Normandy_ could use a short shore-leave, and we do _not_ need a retirement home. It’s a foolish risk that you shouldn’t take while you are so filled with grief.” He kept his arm firmly around her waist to lead her away from the simulator towards the airlocks and the ship with Steve following.

* * *

 

_From: Felix Santiago_

_To: Gordon Mathis_

_Subj: re: Harlow._

_She claims to not be interested in attending the memorial for Admiral Kahoku._

_I think she feels guilty at not having found him in time. I will be greatly relieved when she is no longer in the Alliance. The weight of command sits to heavily on her heart. And I hate to see her cry._

_It reminds me of how hard it was for her after Torfan._

_I tried to get her to come home for a few days, but she’s off on the Normandy on the way to Noveria, I believe._

_Perhaps you can try messaging her?_

_Felix_


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments & Subs & Bookmarks & Kudos. It's like coffee and chocolate all rolled into one. =)
> 
> Seriously, thank you. You guys make my day when you leave comments and stuff.
> 
> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Shout to to my Betas and brain storming wonders: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929

_From: Gordon Mathis_

_To: Harlow Shepard_

_Subj: re: Virmire._

_Talk to me, or someone, anyone really._

_Anderson Says that your ship is locked out and you haven’t left your quarters. He also mentioned that he was missing some alcohol. I can’t remember you ever drinking, even in boot camp._

_Don’t forget your promise._

_Gordon_

* * *

 

Harlow had gone straight from Noveria to Virmire. She had a goal, an end in sight to her time in the Alliance. It was a dream that involved no stress from the Alliance and being in command, being responsible for the lives of others. It was a tangible dream so she pushed on through her exhaustion to check in on the salarian team.

And then…Harlow had been forced to choose between Kaidan and Ash who had gone with Kirrahe’s unit. She’d sacrificed the one man, her friend, to rescue everyone else. It was what the Alliance had trained her to do.

She sat on the floor in her quarters with a stolen bottle of brandy. Anderson wouldn’t possible miss a single bottle considering he had two fully stocked bars in his apartment. She’d never been much of a drinker, but Uncle Z always seemed to find it helpful.

Halfway through the bottle, Harlow wasn’t really feeling better, but worse. And the room swirling around certainly wasn’t an improvement. She stared at her pistol on her desk then over at the terminal.

* * *

 

_Inter-Relay Text Chat_

_Location: Citadel_

_From: Harlow_

_To: Gordon_

_H: Gord?_

_G: Gord?_

_H: Fingers having truble._

_G: Are you drunk?_

_H: Yea._

_G: Have you ever been drunk?_

_H: No. ‘s not very nice._

_G: No it isn’t. Why are you drunk?_

_H: Wanna feel better._

_G: And do you?_

_H: No._

_G: Alcohol doesn’t make you feel ‘happy,’ Harlow. Why are you messaging me drunk?_

_H: choice._

_G: What choice?_

_H: Send a message or_

_G: Or what?_

_H: Dunno._

_G: Harlow._

_H: You’ll be mad._

_G: No, I won’t, I promise._

_H: I broke my pistol._

_G: You broke your pistol. Are you still on your ship?_

_H: Yea._

_G: I was in a meeting with Anderson. I’m coming to see you._

_H: No._

_G: Why not?_

_H: No._

_H: Tired._

_H: Sleep. Now._

_G: Not until we talk._

_G: My ship. ‘m a spectre._

_User has disconnected._

* * *

 

Pressly, Harlow’s XO, met Mathis on the bridge. He led him down to the Commander’s quarters. Mathis requested the crew _all_ take shore-leave for an hour or two. He wanted the deck to himself, he wasn’t really certain what state Harlow would be in.

“Harlow? Open up?” Mathis knocked on the door. “That’s an order, Shepard.”

“No.”

“Open the damn door, _now._ I want to talk to my daughter.” He banged his fist against the several more times.

The door finally opened to reveal Harlow who stared unfocused in his general direction. Mathis noticed the three-quarters empty bottle in her hand. She wore black sweatpants and a t-shirt that looked like she’d been rolling around on the floor. He caught sight of the pistol on her desk. It had been dismantled into multiple parts.

“When you said pistol...” Mathis shifted forward to catch her when she stumbled toward him.

“Huh? Oh.” Harlow blinked up at him in confusion. “’s broken. I broke it.”

“I’m confident that you can fix it when you’re sober.” He lifted the bottle out of her hand to set it beside the weapon.

Harlow leaned haphazardly against the table. She frowned at him. “You’re…”

“Yes?”

“Dad.”

Mathis thought his heart stopped for a second. He never expected Harlow to _ever_ call him any derivative of father. Ezra had been her dad, she had her uncles.   He was just…nothing. It hurt to hear it, and to know that she was so drunk that she’d never remember it.

“Not sposed call you Dad,” Harlow muttered to herself.

“Why?”

“Sleepy.” She weaved her way toward her bed.

He helped her into it and tucked her in. He kissed her forehead as her eyes closed. “You won’t remember calling me Dad when you’ve slept off all that brandy. I’m glad I got to hear it once in my life.”

* * *

 

_From: Felix_

_To: Harlow_

_Subj: re: What do I do now?_

_I think that your parents would want you to be happy. They loved you, Princessa, you know that. If they hadn’t wanted you to know about Mathis, why would they have sent that letter to you?_

_He’s your father. If you want to acknowledge it more than you have, I don’t see why you shouldn’t._

_Your uncle Steven will eventually have to realize your love for him isn’t diminished by your relationship with Mathis, or me, or your uncle Z._

_I love you, Princessa. Francisco loves and adores his mother._

_Please be safe on Ilos. My ship has apparently be assigned to the group that Fifth Fleet is organizing to keep an eye on the widow system._

_Be careful, Amor._

_Felix_

* * *

 

“I’m so proud of you, Poppet.” Hackett found Harlow in the Med Bay on the _Normandy. “_ You’re the _hero_ of the Citadel.”

After the final battle in the council chambers, Harlow had ended up injuring her shoulder. She’d avoided the hospital by ordering Joker to dock on the Citadel so she could have Chakwas patch her up. Her uncle had stepped into the room not long after the doctor had finished. He sat on the edge of the bed and took her hand.

She’d been dreading seeing him since she needed to have a serious conversations with him. She started to speak but shifting up caused her to wince. In the few minutes that it took for the pain to wear off, Hackett interrupted her with news from the Council and Alliance command.

“I know you wanted to retire, but the Alliance really needs you to stay in command of the _Normandy_ for a brief six month tour. It will help calm everyone’s fears.” Hackett handed her a datapad with the orders.

“Uncle Steven.”

“Please?”

“This isn’t fair, Uncle Steven. I told you…” She gripped the datapad in her hand tightly. “This isn’t right. Not only are you telling me that I can’t retire yet, you’re going to force me to _lie_ about what happened.”

“My hands are tied on this, Poppet.” He looked conflicted when she met his eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“Me too.” She groaned as she skimmed through the new assignment. “I guess I don’t have a choice.”

“Poppet.”

“It’s fine, Admiral. I have my orders.” Harlow handed the datapad back to him. She swung her legs around and stood up. “If you’ll excuse me, _Sir_ , I believe that my husband is waiting for me.”

“Harlow.”

“I’m angry, Uncle Steven.” She glanced over her shoulder at him. “I’m very angry right now; give me a few days to get over being disappointed in the Alliance.”

“Just the Alliance?”

She shook her head slowly. “I love you, Uncle Steven. I love you very much. But I’m not sure if you did this to keep me in the Alliance or if your hands were truly tied. I want to believe you wouldn’t completely disregard my hopes and wishes like this.”

_“Poppet.”_

“I need some space.” Harlow ducked out of the emotionally charged atmosphere of the room.

She was greatly relieved when he didn’t chase after her. In her heart, she didn’t think that Uncle Steven would go against her wishes like this. It was more likely that the council had forced the issue and not given the Alliance many options if they wanted to keep their new position on the council. She understood that in theory.

It didn’t change how angry Harlow felt about the damn thing. As the head of the Fifth Fleet, it simply wouldn’t be in Hackett’s power to rescind that order. They’d made him the messenger. She just needed to remember not to shoot the messenger.

* * *

 

_From: Harlow Shepard_

_To: Gordon Mathis_

_Subj: Drunken words._

_I remember what I said._

_And I also heard what you said before you left._

_I’m stuck on this six month tour, six months longer than I’m supposed to be in the Alliance. I should’ve known it wasn’t going to be that easy to get out._

_We should sit down and talk when I’m back on Arcturus._

_Dad._

_Harlow_


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a two chapter day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments & Subs & Bookmarks & Kudos. It's like coffee and chocolate all rolled into one. =)
> 
> Seriously, thank you. You guys make my day when you leave comments and stuff.
> 
> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Shout to to my Betas and brain storming wonders: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929

“Papa? Why is Mommy’s ship on the news?”

Felix glanced first at his son and then over to the flat-screen to see an image of the _Normandy_ followed by ‘breaking news.’ “I don’t know.”

“But…” Francisco was interrupted by the door buzzer. He raced over to look at the vid on the intercom. “It’s Grandpa Steven and Grandpa Z.”

“Mijo?” Felix had been listening to a brief part of the ANN report. “Can you go to your room for me, please?”

“But Papa, Grandpa Z promised to show me that trick.” Francisco’s eyes lit up with understanding after a moment. “Are you still mad at him?”

“No, Francisco, I’m not angry with either of them. I’d really like to speak to them alone first. I promise not to let him leave before he shows you the trick.” Felix gently guided his son towards the hallway that led to the bedrooms. He waited until Francisco had made it to his room before going over to answer the door. “Admiral, Massani.”

“We tried to beat the news reports.” Hackett gazed up at vid-screen that Felix had muted. “We received a mayday from the _Normandy_.”

“Is she…” Felix couldn’t get the question out.

He didn’t need an answer. The truth was evident on the two men’s faces. They looked old, older than he’d ever seen them. Zaeed’s eyes were red rimmed and Hackett’s jaw was clenched painfully tight. Their intertwined hands had white knuckles from how tightly they held on to each other.

“The last of the survivors arrived on Arcturus ten minutes ago. She was…” Hackett shoved his husband away and stormed across the room to stare up at large family photo that had been taken a few years ago. His shoulders drooped from their normal military bearing as he turned around to face them. “Harlow was caught in an explosion that launched her out of the ship. We haven’t found her body yet. Admiral Mathis is leading the search and recovery operation.”

“Grandpa Z!” Francisco bounded into the room. He launched himself at Zaeed who caught him easily. The little boy frowned up at him. “What’s the matter? Did Papa yell at you?”

“No. No.” Zaeed hugged him close to his chest. “We’re just a little sad right now.”

“Why?” Francisco tilted his head back to look at his grandpa. “Mommy says chocolate fixes everything.”

Felix felt like someone had slammed him straight in the chest over his heart. He could hear Harlow’s laughter in his head when she’d told Felix that chocolate would cure his sore knee when he’d fallen and hurt himself. She’d kissed the injury and gotten him a little piece of candy to ‘make it better.’

“Do you need chocolate Grandpa Z?” Francisco looked around in confusion at the three men. He patted Zaeed’s face with his little hand. “Grandpa?”

Felix turned to Hackett with feeling of utter helplessness. “How do I tell him? How do I…”

Hackett wrapped a strong arm around his shoulders. “We’ll do it together. Harlow would’ve wanted it that way. We keep it simple; he’s too young to understand all the details. And we remind him every single day how much he was loved unconditionally and whole-heartedly by her.”

* * *

 

_From: Steven Hackett_

_To: Gordon Mathis_

_Subj: Harlow._

_We haven’t always agreed on anything really, but I know you cared greatly for her._

_Felix has decided to hold a small family memorial here on the station after the more public one. He asked me to invite you._

_Perhaps the greatest way that we can honor our daughter in death is by giving her the one thing that she wanted in life, getting along with each other, for her. _

_Steven_

* * *

 

_From: Steve C._

_To: Felix S._

_Subj: re: Memorial._

_I’ll keep Hackett and Mathis on opposite sides of the room._

_Do you need anything? How’s Francisco?_

_I am so, so sorry. I know she loved you and little Frankie so much._

_Steve_

_P.S. I’m going to miss her getting mad at me for calling him Frankie._

* * *

 

The memorial had turned out to be incredibly… _tense_ for everyone. Felix had felt like he was a referee in a cage fight. Not that any punches were thrown, but it had been a close thing. His mother thankfully diffused the situation by reminding Hackett, Massani and Mathis that _their_ _little girl_ wouldn’t have wanted them arguing over her ashes like feral dogs.

His mother had a way with words and angry men.   She thankfully had a way with little men as well. She had helped Felix explain to his son that mommy went to heaven. His heart had broken the next evening when he heard Francisco begging god to ‘send mommy back cause she needs to tuck him in.’

Felix spent a lot of time avoiding Hackett. The Admiral had taken on a lot of guilt for Harlow’s death. Guilt that Felix felt wasn’t his to take. It hadn’t been his decision to send Harlow out for six more months. But no one had been able to get Hackett to believe it. His grief was too painful to watch, especially when Felix had to deal with his own.

He focused his attention on his son instead. Francisco was growing each day, his biotics developed more as well. Grissom Academy had accepted him into their courses for younger students. They’d also offered Felix a position on the security staff. He’d accepted to keep from being apart from his son.

_It was all he had left of Harlow._


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments & Subs & Bookmarks & Kudos. It's like coffee and chocolate all rolled into one. =)
> 
> Seriously, thank you. You guys make my day when you leave comments and stuff.
> 
> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Shout to to my Betas and brain storming wonders: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929

When Harlow had woken up on the Lazarus station, her first thoughts had been to find Felix and Francisco. She put if off to investigate the attack on Freedom’s Progress. Tali’s reaction to her return had given her a moment to pause and consider what her now six year old son would feel if his mother suddenly returned.

She decided it would be best to approach someone else first. She thought first maybe her uncles, but seeing disbelief in their eyes would kill her for a second time. The best chance would be to try to convince Steve first, at least so someone was with her when she approached everyone else.

Without an easy way to get to Ferris Fields where Steve currently lived with Robert, Harlow decided to trick him. She hacked into an Alliance server to send him a message that he was needed on the Citadel by Councilor Anderson. She waited until he’d responded and deleted both his response and her original message. Uncle David didn’t need to ever know that she’d used his extra-net account.

It was tricky timing it, but Harlow managed to be waiting for Steve the moment that he stepped out of the elevator to make his way into the embassy. She grabbed his arm and guided him quickly into a nearby office that was empty. Commander Bailey had given her access to it.

“You’re dead.”

“Not…quite.” Harlow held her hand up when he raised his pistol at her. “When we were teens, you helped me repair Jessie. We didn’t tell anyone about the fact that we accidentally fired off a round. I think there’s still a mark under your bed at your parents’ place on Arcturus where the bullet gouged the floor.”

“Shit.” Steve grabbed her shoulders and shook her. “Oh _shit._ How…oh my god. Does Felix know? Does anyone know?”

“Just you and I think Anderson suspects.” Harlow scrubbed at the tears on her face when Steve stopped shaking her to pull her into a hug. “So…hi.”

“Hi?”

“Your family is going to flip.” Steve draped his arm around her shoulder as they walked out of the office. “So…who are you telling next?”

“Mathis.” Harlow had figured that she’d approach him, then her uncles, and finally her husband and son. “Where is he stationed now?”

“Arcturus.”

“Shit,” Harlow groaned. “Complicated problems have become more complicated.”

“Nah.” Steve pushed her into the elevator with him. “We’ll sneak you onto Arcturus, how hard could it be?”

“I’m a dead Alliance officer who is currently flying a ship with Cerberus colors.” Harlow raised an eyebrow at him. “It is the very definition of hard.”

“Shit.”

“Yes.”

“I have an idea.” Steve had a look that she was very familiar with.

“Is it a good one?”

“Maybe.”

* * *

 

_From: Steve Cortez_

_To: Gordon Mathis_

_Subj: Help._

_Could use your help, ASAP._

_I’m on the Citadel._

_Steve_

* * *

 

“That’s your brilliant plan?” Harlow stared down at the sent message. “’ _Could use your help’?”_

“Do you have a better one?” Steve started walking towards one of the nearby restaurants on the ward. He smiled at her prolonged silence. “That’s what I thought.”

They sat at a table in the back of the place and shared a plate of cheese, bacon and steak covered fries. It was one of Steve’s favorites. Harlow asked about how everyone had been since she’d been _dead_ for two years. He was quiet for a long while and then called the waiter over to order a beer for himself.

“Steve?”

He looked incredibly uncomfortable as he told her about Hackett’s guilt about her death. The admiral had withdrawn a lot, even from Zaeed. They’d even talked about divorce for a while. It had gotten better in the past six or seven months.

Mathis had felt some of the blame belonged to Hackett as well. The two men had managed to avoid each other, even after Mathis was reassigned to Arcturus. She frowned as Steve carefully avoided mentioning Felix.

“And Felix? Francisco?”

“Francisco’s in one of the new programs on Grissom Academy. Felix works with the security team there.” Steve gripped the bottle of beer in front of him. “He’s been dating one of the teachers.”

“Oh.”

“It’s not serious.” Steve hastened to assure her. “But…”

“He moved on.” Harlow covered her face with her hands as she tried to compose herself. Her voice was muffled and strained when she spoke again. “Two years is a long time to grieve and not try to find happiness again. I…shit. Maybe I shouldn’t tell him that I’m alive.”

 _“Harlow._ ” Steve pulled her hands away from her face. “You can’t keep that a secret from him. What about your son?”

“I know,” Harlow sighed. She knew she had to tell _everyone_ in her family. It didn’t mean she wanted to see him with someone else. “What am I going to say?”

“Hello?”

Harlow flicked a fry at him. “Steve.”

“I’m sorry, Harlow, better to know now then to be surprised.” Steve squeezed her hand and then wiped the cheese from his face. He glanced down when his omni-tool beeped. “Mathis will be here in two hours.”

Harlow shoved the plate away. “Not hungry.”

She spent the next two hours staring morosely at the dwindling fries on the plate while Steve tried to lift her spirits with other news. He told her about the last time that he saw Francisco. It just made her feel worse about the possibility of having truly lost her husband. It was the one thing that she hadn’t even considered when Cerberus brought her back to life.

“He’s here.” Steve stood up to wave Mathis over. “Stay there.”

Harlow bent forward with her head down. Her mind strayed to images of seeing another woman with Felix. She caught a few words from the muffled conversation going on behind her, but mostly she tuned them out completely. She was jolted from her thoughts when strong hands rested on her shoulders.

She tilted her head to glance up at Mathis. “Hello.”

He lifted her up out of her chair and crushed her in a hug. “Hello? Welcome back to the madhouse.”

“Thanks, Dad.” She felt his arms tense around her. “Sorry.”

“I never got to hear you say it sober.” Mathis let her go and then glanced over at Steve. “How do we get everyone else here?”

“I’m working on that right now.” Steve lifted his omni-tool.

“Wait.”

_“Harlow.”_

“Just my uncles.” Harlow didn’t think she could handle her uncles _and_ Felix right now. “I’ll…find a way to sneak onto Grissom Academy to see Felix.”

“No sneaking.” Mathis rested his hand on her shoulder again. “We’ll use my ship to get you there.”

“Okay.”

“Harlow?” Mathis tilted her head up with his fingers under her chin. “It’ll work out.”

“Yeah.”

* * *

 

_From: Steven Hackett_

_To: David Anderson_

_Subj: re: Steve Cortez._

_What do you mean you can’t tell me what’s going on?_

_If the man hadn’t been Harlow’s best friend…it doesn’t matter. Zaeed and I are on our way to the Citadel. We’ll head to your office when we arrive._

_I do not understand what is with all the secrecy._

_Steven_

* * *

 

Mathis opted to stay on his ship. It would reduce the risk of any issues with him and Hackett. Anderson and Steve met her uncles outside of his office while Harlow anxiously waited inside. She tried to appear calm, sitting on the edge of Anderson’s desk.

Her fingers gripped the edge of the desk painfully as the door finally opened. She focused her eyes on the tips of her boots to avoid her uncles. If they hadn’t believed Steve and Mathis, she didn’t want to see it in their eyes.

“Poppet?”

Her head shot up so quickly that the room spun for a brief moment. One look at their expressions had Harlow racing over to launch herself at them. Their arms went around her.

“So goddamn happy to see you, Poppet.” Zaeed ruffled her curly hair. “So goddamn happy.”

Harlow leaned back to glare at him. “What’s this I hear about the ‘d’ word being used about you two?”

“Momentary lapse in judgment.” He winked at her.

Harlow turned her attention to the _very_ quiet Hackett. “Uncle Steven?”

He cupped her face with his hands and placed a kiss on top of her head. “I am _so_ sorry. So sorry.”

Harlow frowned at him in confusion. “Why? I just came back from the dead, you haven’t had a chance to do anything yet.”

_“Poppet.”_

“It wasn’t your fault.” Harlow eased out of their arms. She wanted to make it crystal clear to him. “All of that guilt, it wasn’t yours to take. My death was _not_ your fault, Uncle Steven. And I _love_ you.”

Hackett wrapped her into another hug. “We love you so much, Poppet.”

“Have you told Felix yet?” Zaeed took a step closer when her face fell. “Poppet?”

“Steve…I understand that Felix has been dating a teacher at the academy.” Harlow pressed her face against her uncle’s shirt. She choked on a laugh when her Uncle Z asked if he could shoot the bastard now. “No, Uncle Z, you can’t.”

“Damn you both.”

* * *

 

_From: Steven Hackett_

_To: Zaeed Massani_

_Subj: re: Harlow._

_I tried to get her to wait before heading to Grissom Academy but Mathis gave her a ride on his ship._

_Since you’re on Omega, I have a feeling that Harlow will head there immediately. I spoke with Karin. She said that the ship is ready to head out. Joker is distracting the Cerberus crew while Harlow is ‘gone.’_

_I’m not sure Harlow has looked at the dossiers that the Illusive Man gave her. If she had, she’d know that you’re on the list._

_How’s the bounty going?_

_Steven_

* * *

 

Harlow stood in the doorway to one of the cafeterias on the station. Mathis had stayed by the docking bay. He had found out from Kahlee Sanders where Felix was at the moment. They had left out that he was having lunch with a beautiful woman with short, black hair. She spun on her heels and headed away from him.

She picked up speed as she wound her way back through the corridors. Mathis waited for her on the other side of the security check point. She tapped her fingers impatiently while they finished the scan.

“Harlow?”

“I can’t.” She shook her head and held her hands up when he tried to hug her. “Let’s go. I can’t…I’ll send him a message or something.”

“Princessa?”

She closed her eyes and didn’t bother to turn around. She heard Mathis’ chuckle at her. He took her by the shoulder and forced her to face Felix. She opened her eyes to find him staring at her in stunned amazement.

“Is it really…” Felix looked to Mathis for confirmation.

“Felix? Who is this?” The woman from the cafeteria stepped up behind him to place her hand on his arm.

Harlow took a step back. “Someone who was just leaving.”


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a two chapter day because I couldn't leave you hanging like that. =)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments & Subs & Bookmarks & Kudos. It's like coffee and chocolate all rolled into one. =)
> 
> Seriously, thank you. You guys make my day when you leave comments and stuff.
> 
> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Shout to to my Betas and brain storming wonders: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929

Harlow found herself sitting at a table in Felix’s quarters with a warm mug of tea clasped tightly in her hands. He had refused to let her leave without talking in _private_ with her. His _friend_ hadn’t been super pleased by being dismissed without an introduction.

She glanced over to find the wall lined with photos of their family. There were a few more recent ones of Francisco. She ached to see her baby boy, but first she had to face his father.

Taking a sip of tea to calm her nerves, Harlow forced herself to meet Felix’s gaze. She almost immediately wanted to look away. The pain and anguish that he’d felt over the last two years was evident in his eyes.

“I…”

“She meant nothing.” Felix interrupted her. He dragged a chair over to sit in front of her. He looked like he wanted to take her hands in his but stopped himself. “The dates were lackluster at best.”

“You don’t owe me any sort of explanation.” Harlow stared down at her tea. Her eyes were filling with tears. She tried to hold them in, but they fell anyway.

He reached out to take the cup from her and placed it on the table. His hands covered hers. “I have _missed_ you, Princessa. I have spent so many nights wishing that you were still alive. I never once stopped loving you.”

“Felix.”

“No, amor, no. I’m not letting you run away.” He gripped her hands more tightly as he shifted his chair closer enough that their knees bumped. “You’re my wife. I still wear the ring that you placed on my finger.”

“But…”

“I went on three dates, Princessa. Three, and today, the lunch, that was goodbye. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t even find it in me to kiss her.” Felix leaned forward to touch his fingers to her jaw. He slid his hand around to cup the side of her neck. “You _are_ my wife. And I’m yours, if you want me?”

“If?” Harlow felt the tension that had been building since Steve told her that Felix had a date start to dissipate. “She was very pretty.”

“Yes.” Felix pressed his lips to the corner of her mouth. “But she wasn’t _you_.”

_“Papa.”_

The two of them exchanged looks of concern as the sound of Francisco racing into the living quarters interrupted them. Harlow had wanted time to discuss how to explain all of this to their son. The six year old slid to a stop when he caught sight of her.

“Mommy?” His eyes went wide as he turned frantically from one parent to the other. “He really did it.”

“Who did what, mijo?” Felix crouched down until he was at eye-level with the boy.

“God.” Francisco stayed by Felix though his attention was all on Harlow. “Grandma said that I could pray to whoever I believed in about what I wanted. So I prayed for god to be done with mommy in heaven so he could send her back.”

Felix shrugged at Harlow as if to say, ‘that’s as good an explanation as anything we could come up with.’ They didn’t get a chance to respond to Francisco because he dashed the rest of the way across the room into her arms. Harlow hugged him close and smiled at Felix whose brown eyes were filling with tears.

“Do I get to skip class?” Francisco grinned innocently at his father who shook his head. “But…”

“Sorry, mijo, you only have a week left and then we’ll be visiting your grandparents. Your mother will spend _plenty_ of time with you then.” Felix eased the six year old back from Harlow. “I need to talk to her for a little while. Please?”

“ _Papa._ ”

“I promise that God won’t take her away again.” Felix hugged him tightly then guided him towards the door. “Class first.”

Francisco dodged away from him and ran over to squeeze his small arms around Harlow. “I love you, Mommy.”

She lifted him up to hold him close. “I love you too.”

“Promise that you won’t go back to heaven?”

“I promise.”

“’k.” He wiggled out of her arms and ran to the door at full speed. He ducked under Felix’s arm and out the door without another word.

“He…” Harlow covered her face with her hands. She swallowed down a sob, but couldn’t stop the streaming tears that fell. It was a combination of relief and happiness. “My beautiful little boy.”

Felix ran his fingers through her curly, reddish brown hair. “He missed you as much as I did.”

“I fought so hard not to die.” Harlow reached out blindly to capture his hand. She pulled him closer and brushed her lips against one of his knuckles. “I didn’t want to go.”

She hadn’t admitted to anyone that in those last seconds, she’d felt such a flash of anger at her uncle. It wasn’t his fault, but when she was dying…it was probably best not to dwell on that thought. She focused on the man in front of her.

They spent the brief time that they had curled together on his bed. Harlow filled him in on the details of her resurrection and the massive strings attached to it.   Felix didn’t like the idea of her being with Cerberus. He realized that she didn’t have many options at the moment.

The _plan_ was to stop the collectors, and then continue with her original plan to retire. Harlow could start her studio anywhere, and Felix wanted her close by. They had missed _too_ much time together as a family. He didn’t want to miss anything else.

“I have to get back to the Citadel.” Harlow disentangled herself from Felix and the blanket. “No more dates.”

He flashed a brilliant smile at her. “Only with you, Princessa, only with you.”

Felix insisted on walking with her to the docking bay. His hand held hers as they talked about ways they could see each other while she was with Cereberus. Since Francisco and Felix were both due a few months of vacation, Harlow suggested maybe renting out an apartment on the Citadel. He promised to talk to Anderson for suggestions.

Her fingers gripped his hand tightly when the security area and Mathis came into view. “I don’t want to leave again.”

“Oh, mi amor.” Felix kissed her forehead and then captured her mouth for a long, satisfying taste. “It’s not forever. I know what forever without you feels like. It’s empty, so very empty. This? This we can handle, _together._ ”

“I love you.”

* * *

 

_From: Steve C._

_To: Harlow S._

_Subj: re: Felix._

_I knew it would all work out._

_I’m back on Ferris Fields. Robert says hello._

_I’m sending you a few ‘family’ pictures. Thought you might like them to plaster your cabin with._

_So…it’s supposed to be this big secret and all but I don’t give a damn. Your Uncle Zaeed was hired by Cerberus for a mission, I’m guessing he’s going to be one of the people on your squad._

_Good luck with that._

_Steve_

_P.S. I’m sending an image of my new shuttle. Isn’t it beautiful? Don’t mock me._

* * *

 

“Harlow?”

She glanced over at Mathis. “Don’t.”

“Hackett…”

“Don’t.”

“Okay.” He held his hands up in surrender. “You have an open line to me, any time, any day, whenever you need me.”

“Mathis… _Dad,_ ” she corrected herself. “I think Uncle Steven has been punished enough. Please let it go.”

“Harlow.”

“For me.” Harlow stepped over to wrap her arms around his waist. She rested her cheek against the front of his uniform. “For your little girl who isn’t dead.”

“That is cheating.”

“Did it work?”

“ _Yes.”_


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments & Subs & Bookmarks & Kudos. It's like coffee and chocolate all rolled into one. =)
> 
> Seriously, thank you. You guys make my day when you leave comments and stuff.
> 
> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Shout to to my Betas and brain storming wonders: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929

With prints of the family photos Steve sent her, Harlow spent three hours standing on her bed taping them over the viewing window in her quarters. She didn’t want to see the stars going by. She had seen enough of them to last her a very long while.

She stayed in her cabin all the way to Omega. Aside from Chakwas and Joker, everyone on her crew were complete strangers. They made her feel uneasy. She wouldn’t admit how much better it would feel when her uncle was on the ship.

EDI informed her that the _Normandy_ had docked on Omega. Harlow frowned suspiciously at the blue orb. Her mind was already working on a way to restrict its access to her quarters. She changed into her armor and headed for the second deck. It wouldn’t be wise to spend time on Omega without armor and at least a pistol.

“Commander?” Miranda Lawson greeted her as she stepped out of the elevator. “Are you ready to recruit Zaeed Massani?”

Harlow smiled _politely_ at her new _XO._ “I’ll be recruiting him on my own. I’ll let you know when I’m ready to head in to find Mordin Solus.”

“Massani is a dangerous bounty hunter. Why would you go alone?” Kelly Chambers interjected herself into the conversation.

“Dangerous?” Harlow almost laughed at the absurdity of Uncle Z hurting her. “He is the least likely person on Omega to cause me harm in any manner.”

“How can you be certain?” Kelly seemed way too interested in her answer, but Harlow shrugged off her enthusiasm. “Commander?”

“I’ve known Zaeed Massani since I was a toddler. He would never hurt me.” Harlow decided now was a good time to make something crystal clear to both of them. “He would however put a bullet in the skull of anyone who attempted to cause me pain. I suggest that _everyone_ on this ship remembers that.”

After a brief word with Joker, Harlow made her way off of the ship. She watched fascinated as her uncle dispatched of his bounty. He turned around and grinned at her.

“This is so weird.” Harlow could hardly remember seeing him in armor, let alone working. “Really weird.”

“Hello, Poppet.”

“I saw Felix.” Harlow fell in step beside him as he dragged the injured batarian towards one of the other docking bays. “And Francisco.”

“And?”

Harlow’s grin blossomed into a wide smile. “My family is _going_ t o be fine.”

“Damn,” Zaeed sighed. “Thought I’d finally get to shoot the bastard.”

_“Uncle Z.”_

‘Sorry, Poppet.” He handed his bounty off and then draped his arm across her shoulders. They made their way towards Afterlife to meet with Aria. “Ready to give me orders?”

“Will you actually listen?”

“My husband threatened to goddamn cut me off if I didn’t.” He growled at her when she giggled. “I find nothing bloody funny about my husband refusing to let me screw him.”

“ _Ew._ ”

* * *

 

_From: Felix_

_To: Harlow_

_Subj: re: Vido._

_I was not aware he had your body at one point. I think it would be wise for me not to think too much about it. I did discover he bribed that teacher to get close to me._

_Perhaps it would be best to let Massani handle him._

_Francisco drew a picture for you. I’m attaching a copy of it. We’re heading to the Citadel at the end of the week. Councilor Anderson is generously letting us stay at his apartment until we find one of our own. It’s nicer than the alliance quarters._

_I love you._

_Felix_

* * *

 

_From: Harlow Shepard_

_To: Gordon Mathis_

_Subj: Sketch Journal._

_I lost all of my sketches._

_It was on the Normandy._

_Do you still have the designs that we did together? I’d like to at least have those when I finally get around to finding a new sketchbook. I miss mine._

_Harlow_

* * *

 

_From: Uncle Steven_

_To: Harlow_

_Subj: re: Vido & Uncle Z._

_I’m worried as well, Poppet._

_Your Uncle Z will not be happy until he is finished with Vido. It’s not about his betrayal years ago. Vido tried to hurt you. Zaeed won’t let that go, I know my husband and I can’t blame him._

_I’ll try to talk to him again._

_Love you._

_Uncle Steven_

* * *

 

With Garrus, Mordin and her Uncle Z on board, Harlow told Joker to head for Zorya. Zaeed was too distracted to be useful. The only logical solution was to deal with Vido _now_.

With Garrus as the third member of their squad, Harlow followed her uncle through the jungle towards the refinery where the Blue Suns were holding the workers hostage. They arrived at the gates where Vido immediately started to taunt and provoke Zaeed.   His goading worked as Zaeed triggered an explosion to blast his way through.

They dodged the growing fires to walk across damaged pathways. Harlow stopped when one of the workers appeared on an overhead bridge to beg for help. Zaeed tried to force her to continue but she stood her ground.

“ _Poppet_.”

“ _Uncle Z.”_

“I am not letting that goddamn bastard get away again.” He had to yell to be heard over an explosion.

“How much blood on my hands is enough for you and Uncle Steven?” Harlow shook her head sadly then told Garrus to follow her. “I’m not letting these people die so you can murder one man. I’m sorry.”

She didn’t look to see if he followed her. Her attention focused solely on rescuing everyone she could. Torfan and Virmire had left scars on her that never faded. She had enough deaths on her hands from her perspective. Innocent lives were not something to be treated casually.

“Let me fucking do it.” Zaeed pushed her away to turn the stubborn valve to open a blocked path to the switch of the emergency sprinkler system. “C’mon Poppet.”

Vido’s men were waiting for them on the other side. They fought through them only to find Vido had already reached his gunship. Zaeed unloaded his clip at it to no avail. Harlow ignored the mocking from Vido and focused on his ship. It was a make that Steve had worked on and she vaguely remembered him mention a core weakness on it.

Grabbing Garrus’ holstered sniper rifle, Harlow sighted a tiny spot near the fuel tank. She took the shot and the thing exploded almost instantaneously. Zaeed grabbed her up to swing her around so his body shielded her from falling debris.

“Poppet.”

“I did it for you.” Harlow moved away from him and started towards their shuttle that had just landed. “You…oh god…what is Felix going to say?”

“Poppet.” Zaeed followed her into the Kodiak and sat beside her. “He had to have known it would end this bloody way.”

* * *

 

_Inter-Relay Text Chat_

_Location: Ismar Frontier_

_From: Harlow_

_To: Felix_

_H: Felix?_

_F: How did it go on Zorya, Princessa?_

_F: Amor? Were you hurt?_

_F: Say something, I’m growing concerned._

_H: I’m fine. Your father, not so much. He died._

_F: I am not surprised. Massani always intended to kill him._

_H: It wasn’t Uncle Z. It was me._

_F: Amor?_

_H: I’m sorry._

_User has disconnected._

* * *

 

“Poppet?” Zaeed banged on the door to her quarters. “I will hack this goddamn door if you don’t open it this bloody minute.”

“I am _not_ fifteen anymore,” she muttered to her fish.

Harlow told EDI to unseal her cabin and tell Joker to head back to the Omega Nebula. She needed to visit Alchera. Zaeed’s eyes narrowed on her when he caught the mention of the planet. He walked over to recline on her couch with two beers in his hands. He propped his feet up on her coffee table.

“Your husband is concerned that you mistakenly believe he is upset with you.” Zaeed handed her one of the two beers which she immediately handed right back. “Celebrate with me.”

“Uncle Z.”

“He deserved to die, Poppet. He was an evil goddamn bastard.” Zaeed saluted her with the bottle.

“Stop it.” Harlow covered her ears which made her feel like she was fifteen again. “Get out.”

“Poppet.” He stood up to step over to her and stopped when he glanced up at the viewing window. He moved closer to get a better look at all the family photos covering it. He grabbed her by the arm and dragged her into a hug. His lips brushed the top of her head. “I’m sorry, Poppet.”

“Why?”

“Not sorry he’s fucking dead, but sorry that my revenge matters so much to me that you felt you had to help me with it.” Zaeed ruffled her curls. “I love you, Poppet. And I’m sorry.”

“S’ok.”

“No, it bloody isn’t. But it will be.”


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments & Subs & Bookmarks & Kudos. It's like coffee and chocolate all rolled into one. =)
> 
> Seriously, thank you. You guys make my day when you leave comments and stuff.
> 
> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Shout to to my Betas and brain storming wonders: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929

_From: Harlow_

_To: Felix_

_Subj. Alchera._

_Do you think your mother would watch Francisco for a day or two?_

_We’re heading to Alchera tomorrow. I’m not sure I can face seeing it without you._

_Love,_

_Harlow_

* * *

 

Harlow’s first steps into the debris field on Alchera were the hardest. She was glad in a way that they needed to use breather helmets. It kept her from seeing the looks on her husband, uncles and father’s faces.

It hadn’t surprised her when Felix arrived in an Alliance shuttle with Hackett and Mathis. The real shock had been the two men being _politely_ indifferent toward each other. She found their sudden new truce strange, though maybe a trip to her _grave_ had been a sobering reality check.

Leaving them all to their own devices, Harlow searched diligently for each of her lost crew’s tags. She carried them in her hand with her old N7 helmet in the other. She tried to ignore the four pairs of eyes watching her as she set the marker for where the memorial would go.

When Harlow started or the Cerberus shuttle, Felix re-directed her to the Alliance Kodiak parked beside it. They were joined by the others shortly. He explained that they wanted to spend a little time on the Alliance ship together, before she rejoined the _Normandy._

“Sit, Princessa.” Felix grasped her hand to pull her over to the empty seat on his right.

They’d already pulled off their helmets once the shuttle had sealed and it was safe to do so. He wrapped his arm her shoulder, only slightly awkward because of their armor. They leaned their heads together and sat in silence.

“Poppet?”

Harlow lifted her head up to find Hackett holding the damaged helmet she’d found. “It was mine.”

“I know.” Hackett’s finger touched one of the jagged slashes on the side of it. He gave it to Zaeed when he held his hand out for it. “I am _so_ sorry.”

“Uncle Steven?” Harlow frowned up at him. She watched as her Uncle Z held his husband tightly. The helmet tossed to the side, forgotten for the moment. “I really wish you’d stop apologizing for something that wasn’t your fault.”

He raised his head to look at her over Zaeed’s shoulder. “Maybe not entirely. Can you honestly tell me that it’s never crossed your mind?”

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” Harlow was growing frustrated.

“Can you tell me that you never considered me at least partially at fault for putting you on the _Normandy_ for another six months when you were supposed to retire?” Hackett pressed her for an answer though Zaeed was quietly trying to dissuade him.

“No,” she said simply.

She leaned back and closed her eyes. It was the only admission she would ever make about her feelings regarding blame for her death. She should’ve insisted on going back to the _Normandy_.

Hackett slumped into the seat farthest from her with his head in his hands. _Damn it._ Harlow pulled off her gauntlets and placed them into her helmet which she handed to Felix. She moved across the shuttle to set next to her uncle.

“Not right now, Poppet.”

“Is there a better time?” Harlow reached down to take his hand. She ran her finger along one of the few scars that covered his knuckles. “Aren’t you always telling me not to ask questions I don’t want the answers to?”

“ _Poppet_.”

She glanced around at the four men standing in the small confines of the Kodiak. “Since I have your undivided attention for once, and you’re not at each other’s throats. I’m going to tell you all something, and I’m not going to repeat myself, I will let Uncle Z shoot the first person to say sorry when I’m finished.”

“Pushy Poppet.” Zaeed winked at her. He turned his attention to Felix. “You better be the first goddamn one to say sorry.”

“Not _helping_.” Harlow rolled her eyes at him.

He grinned entirely unrepentantly at her. “You made the rule, Poppet.”

With an aggravated sigh, Harlow hesitantly decided to tell the four of them what she remembered from the last minutes of her life. It had felt like it took forever to die to her. Once blasted clear from the _Normandy_ , her suit had taken a few seconds to start to leak.   Those seconds were like hours at the time.

Her anger had focused on so many things during her last agonizing breathes. Harlow didn’t spare them by sugar-coating it. She shared everything, and kept her gaze focused on Hackett. It was important that he understood her thoughts when dying didn’t reflect how much she loved and respected him, and his decisions.

The silence in the shuttle was broken by the pilot letting them know they’d reached the Alliance ship. Harlow stayed seated while everyone else exited. She caught Hackett’s arm to stop him. Felix kissed the top of her head and stepped out after the pilot.

She gestured towards the seat beside her and slid her hand into his. “I love you, Uncle Steven. It wasn’t your fault. The Collectors attacked the _Normandy_ because of me, because of what I did to Sovereign. “

“I…”

“I know Mathis…is part of my life now.” She twisted in her seat to face him. “I want you to…I need…you’re my Uncle Steven. You picked me up from that orphanage, and you never let me go. That matters more to me than any argument we’ve had, or decision that you’ve made that I disagreed with. I trust you.”

“Poppet.” He cleared his throat a few times. “I’m…”

“Don’t.” She leaned against his armor covered arm. “If you really need to hear it, I forgive you.”

 

 

 


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning, going AU for quite a bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments & Subs & Bookmarks & Kudos. It's like coffee and chocolate all rolled into one. =)
> 
> Seriously, thank you. You guys make my day when you leave comments and stuff.
> 
> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Shout to to my Betas and brain storming wonders: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929

After her heart to heart with her Uncle Steven, Harlow sat alone in the shuttle. Her eyes drifted to the helmet once more. She watched out of the corner of her eye as Mathis joined her.

“Thanks for being here.” Harlow felt to numb to truly smile at him, though she tried anyway.

“You mean thanks for not fighting with the Admiral, right?” Mathis’ smile was broad and real.

“Yep.”

“Harlow…”

“It’s ok,” she started hesitantly. “Dad.”

“You put a damn vice around my heart whenever you call me Dad.” He sat up straight up next to her. “I have something for you.

Harlow glanced down when Mathis placed a small, dark red leather bound sketchbook on her knee. It looked very similar to the one he used. She flipped through the empty pages and stopped on designs he had drawn in it, copies of their joint ideas from before she did.

She traced the lines of a suppressor mod for an assault rifle. It had been the last thing they’d worked on together. She’d been proud of it. She slowly closed the sketchbook and laid her hand flat over the cover.

“I want to try to create something that doesn’t kill.” Harlow inched her fingers along the seam on the cover. “My…I think I can create an upgrade that might save lives when ships are attacked and destroyed like the _Normandy_ was.”

“Can I help?” Mathis pulled out his own journal. He opened it to a drawing of a back-up breathing system for Alliance armor. He’d clearly been working on it for a while.

She frowned down at the page. “Why?”

“I couldn’t stop thinking about…” Mathis reached out to take her hand in his. “I didn’t want another father to go through this.

“It’s brilliant.” She tried not to think about the long nights he probably spent on the design. “ _Brilliant._ ”

* * *

 

_From: Joker_

_To: Harlow_

_Subj: Normandy._

_Might want to get your ass back here, Shepard._

_Lawson is getting antsy._

_Joker_

* * *

 

Her intention had been to immediately head straight to Purgatory to retrieve whoever this prisoner. The Illusive Man instead requested that Harlow head back to Omega. She didn’t like it, but options were limited so she told Joker to change course.

Zaeed insisted on going with her. He was a little distracted when they entered Afterlife. Harlow told him to go have a drink while she spoke to Aria. She was heading into the lower level of the bar to speak with the Patriarch when she felt a sharp pain on the side of her neck and everything went dark.

She woke up with a pounding head in a dark room. A quick check told Harlow that her armor and weapons were gone. The new wedding rings that Felix had gotten for her were also missing. She found her sketchbook still in her pocket. It was a small comfort.

With nothing else to do, Harlow put her mind to her problem. She didn’t know who had grabbed her or why. _And why the hell would they have taken her wedding band?_ She paced the small room, as far as the chain attached to her leg would allow. It was barely the size of the walk-in closet that her uncles had.

The only furniture in the room appeared to be the metal bedframe with a slim mattress on it. _No sheets, no blanket, no pillow._ Her eyes adjusted to the darkness and she glanced around but didn’t spot anything that stood out to her. She caught sight of a small round object in the far right corner of the room near the ceiling.

She sat on the bed to consider her options. Her omni-tool was gone. She had nothing to defend herself with. Hand to hand combat had never been her strongest method of defense. Mathis’ words in boot camp came back to her, ‘ _if you’re fighting for your life, fight dirty, the enemy will take every advantage that you offer if you insist on being kind.’_

Closing her eyes, Harlow forced herself to calm down. She had no idea how long she’d been unconscious. Zaeed would certainly notice that she’d gone missing…eventually.

_She hoped._

 

 

 


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments & Subs & Bookmarks & Kudos. It's like coffee and chocolate all rolled into one. =)
> 
> Seriously, thank you. You guys make my day when you leave comments and stuff.
> 
> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Shout to to my Betas and brain storming wonders: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929

_From: Steve C._

_To: Felix S._

_Subj: re: My Condolences._

_Thank you._

_I’m…I don’t know what I’m going to do without Robert._

_What the hell is going on with Harlow?_

_I told her about losing Robert to the collectors on Ferris Fields, all she said was…that’s unfortunate._

_That’s unfortunate?_

_Harlow has never once said anything like that to me. She’s my best friend; she would’ve normally offered to come pick me up. I feel like I’ve lost my husband and her. I think it’s time for Zaeed to try talking to her again or someone on the crew._

_Steve_

* * *

 

Time had stopped for Harlow. She had been in the same dark room for days on end. She saw one person the entire time, a man who brought her one meal a day. He never spoke, no matter how loudly she shouted her questions. He’d likely avoid the truth even if he had spoken to her.

In order to pass the hours, Harlow went over mod designs in her mind. She mentally traced the lines for a sniper rifle for hours and hours. It kept her sane…for the moment.

When Harlow wasn’t going over sketches, she paced the room and did sit-ups. The one meal a day, she portioned out to create five smaller meals. It kept her from feeling like she was overly full for short time while starving for the rest of the day.

_Long days._

_Longer nights._

The room was dark so Harlow never quite knew when it was day or night. It felt like she’d sleep for an hour and be up for so much longer than she should’ve been. Her internal clock was completely screwed up.

In the quiet darkness, Harlow had conversations in her head with the men in her life. She tried not to think about Francisco.   It hurt her heart too much to think about leaving her little boy for a second time.

* * *

 

_From: Gordon Mathis_

_To: Steven Hackett_

_Subj: re: Harlow._

_I don’t know who is on the Normandy, but it is not Harlow._

_Massani agrees with me._

_We have to do something._

_Can we afford to lose her again?_

_Mathis_

* * *

 

“Commander Shepard.”

Harlow opened he eyes to find the Illusive Man standing in front of her with several operatives on either side of him. “You were my second guess.”

“Guess?”

“For who the hell took me.”

“I would appreciate your cooperation in answering a few questions about your family.” He ignored her remark.

“I’ve been thinking about how you could make me disappear so easily. It occurred to me that you could easily have created a clone.” Harlow watched carefully and noticed a muscle suddenly tighten in his jaw. “You bring me back, let me convince my family that it’s me, and then replace me with someone that you can control.”

“The files on you don’t do justice to your intelligence.” His smile was cocky and not even remotely pleasant. “How did your husband propose?”

With a quiet sigh, Harlow decided it was time to weave an intricate web of lies. Uncle Z would know, she hoped, if she fed the right lies to them. She might not make it, but maybe the clone would be stopped.

She answered all of his questions with partial truths. Uncle Z had once told her that stories needed to sound real. Outright lies would be too obvious; changing small but important details would be harder for the Illusive Man to detect.

_‘Believe your lies, Poppet, believe ‘em and everyone else will goddamn believe it too.’_

So she did.

Believe in all of the half-truths.

* * *

 

_From: Zaeed Massani_

_To: Aria T’loak_

_Subj: Debt._

_That debt you owe me._

_I’m calling it in._

_Help me find my niece, because the bitch on this ship isn’t her._

_Massani_

* * *

 

The disabled collector tipped things against the Illusive Man. Lawson and Taylor pulled Zaeed aside while they were on Illium with concerns about ‘The Commander’ and the Illusive Man. It was becoming clear to everyone that something wasn’t quite right.

Liara offered her assistance as the Shadow Broker as well as the use of a private office on Illium. Kelly Chambers had been the one person who seemed to find nothing wrong with Shepard. Zaeed wanted to _question_ her about it.

Joker, Garrus and Mordin kept Shepard busy playing poker while Zaeed and Lawson interrogated the yeoman. It didn’t take her long to confess the switch between the clone and the real Shepard. Her excuse to just being following orders fell on deaf, uninterested ears.

Kelly didn’t know _where_ Harlow was being held.

He wanted his niece. Harlow was his goddamn baby girl. The Alliance and Cerberus could go to goddamn hell as far as he was concerned. He was getting his her back.

 


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a two chapter kind of day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments & Subs & Bookmarks & Kudos. It's like coffee and chocolate all rolled into one. =)
> 
> Seriously, thank you. You guys make my day when you leave comments and stuff.
> 
> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Shout to to my Betas and brain storming wonders: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929

Meeting with the cloned version of Harlow made Felix’s stomach churn. They hadn’t found the real Harlow yet, so they couldn’t afford to arouse suspicion. He’d decided to let Hackett _baby-sit_ Francisco for a few days. He could force himself to deal with the clone, but not his son.

It had been complicated explaining to the six year old why he was spending time with Grandpa Steven on an Alliance vessel. The family as a whole had agreed that until they were ready to move on Cerberus, keeping the little one a ship might be their best plan.

She was cold.

Even if Zaeed hadn’t proven through Kelly Chambers that it wasn’t Harlow, Felix would’ve known. She tensed when he held her, probably more than he tensed at the mere thought of kissing her. If it hadn’t been for Harlow still being missing, he would’ve shot the woman in the head the moment she placed her hand on his. He wanted to snatch the ring off of her finger.

“At ease, Lieutenant, at ease.” Mathis stepped into the embassy where Felix was meeting with Anderson _and_ the clone. Mathis nodded towards the door. “Join me for a moment?”

Felix excused himself and forced himself to move casually towards his former drill instructor. Mathis led him silently away from the human section of the embassy. They went down a flight of stairs and up another one until they finally reached a hallway that Felix had never been in.

“Welcome to the Spectre offices on the Citadel.” Mathis walked into one of the rooms with Felix on his heels.

To his complete surprise, Felix found himself in a room with one of the special units from Team Delta. He knew several of the marines from a previous assignment. They were apparently brought in by Hackett to help in the search for Harlow once Liara or Aria came back with more information.

“We _will_ find her.” Mathis gripped Felix’s shoulder firmly. “We have to find her.”

Felix refused to be blinded by false hope. “Why would the Illusive Man keep her alive this long?” It would be too much of a risk.”

“Felix.”

“What’s the plan to bring my wife home?” Felix wasn’t interested in being placated with false hope.

* * *

 

_From: Zaeed_

_To: Wrex_

_Subj: re: Commander Shepard._

_I’m glad to know you’re looking forward to seeing her again._

_Thanks for the help._

_Zaeed_

* * *

 

_From: Aria T’Loak_

_To: Zaeed Massani_

_Subj: re: Debt._

_Consider this free of charge._

_I understand that Donovan Hock recently assisted a rather difficult to find client with the purchase of a property not far from his own._

_It might be worth your time to attempt to locate the property._

_Aria_

_P.S. The difficult client had trackers and surveillance equipment on my domain. They have been removed. _

* * *

 

Mathis stared across the table at Hackett. “Is he certain?”

“It’s the _queen of Omega_ , no one can be certain. I know she seemed to like Harlow.” Hackett looked more exhausted and stressed than Mathis could remember seeing. “I should’ve let her retire. She would never have been on the damn ship, never have died, and been in this position in the first place.”

“True.”

“ _Gordon._ ”

“Do you expect me to lie to you? My daughter, your niece, intended to retire. The Alliance and Council needed her to help them sell a lie.” Mathis held up his hand to stop the Admiral from interrupting him. “You should’ve let her retire before she became a damn spectre. The rest of it though? That wasn’t your fault, as much as I’d like to tell you it was.”

There was a prolonged silence before the two men moved on to focusing on finalizing the plans. It would be tricky trying to ensure that Harlow was rescued while not tipping their hand to the Illusive Man too soon. Mathis was most concerned about Felix and Zaeed. They were spending the majority of the time with the clone.

_And it wasn’t easy._

Felix had looked close to snapping when Mathis saw him last. He couldn’t imagine Zaeed felt much different being stuck on the ship with the clone and not able to do a thing about it. He had only seen the woman once and barely restrained himself from taking her by the throat.

Those damn eyes had gutted him. They were empty, lifeless in comparison to the real deal.   Harlow had a bright spark in her that showed in her eyes. The clone was nothing but a weak model of her. It damn near broke his heart more than when she’d died.

“We have to find her.” Hackett’s softly spoken words brought Mathis back to the present.

“ _Yes._ ”

* * *

 

_From: Aria_

_To: Zaeed_

_Subj: re: Tuchanka._

_I am certain that I can accommodate your request. Tell Urdnot Wrex to expect a delivery from one of my men. I’ll be sure to use one that won’t be shot on sight._

_Keep an eye out for a former N7 who I believe might be responsible for your lost object._

_Aria_

 


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments & Subs & Bookmarks & Kudos. It's like coffee and chocolate all rolled into one. =)
> 
> Seriously, thank you. You guys make my day when you leave comments and stuff.
> 
> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Shout to to my Betas and brain storming wonders: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929

_From: Felix Santiago_

_To: Gordon Mathis_

_Subj: re: Francisco._

_My mother took him back to Arcturus for now. He’ll enjoy his school vacation more there. His Grandpa Steven promised to let him visit some of the training sessions for biotics happening on the station._

_I understand Harlow is heading to Tuchanka next._

_Wrex is likely looking forward to seeing her again._

_Felix_

* * *

 

With Zaeed and Wrex keeping the ‘clone’ busy, Hackett led a team that included Felix, Mathis and Cortez to a private estate on Bekenstein.   Intel from both Aria and Liara indicated Harlow might be there. It was imperative to save Harlow _before_ the clone was _stopped._

The silence in the shuttle spoke volumes to the concern the men felt. Cortez had insisted on flying it. Hackett didn’t have the heart to argue with him. He was too focused on the deep concern he’d been feeling for weeks since he’d had a conversation with what he’d thought was Harlow.

The woman had looked and sounded like his Poppet. Her mannerisms were a little off. The most telling part had been her insistence that she wouldn’t retire from the Alliance.

Sending Team Delta to handle the Cerberus troops on the perimeter of the property, Hackett ordered Felix and Cortez to cut the surveillance to the place. They cleared the floors one at a time. They had to be quick and thorough.

Everything stopped when they reached the last room on the third floor of the mansion. The door was different from the others in the house. It was reinforced steel with obvious guards to prevent it being opened from either side by anyone other than a Cerberus operative.

“Let me.” Mathis stepped up to pull the others back. Hackett could understand his not wanting to leave the fate of _their_ daughter in anyone else’s hands.

It took Mathis almost an hour to clear each of the explosive mines set around the door. Hackett restrained his impatient urge to hurry the man up. The risk of killing or hurting Harlow was too great.

Mathis worked diligently to remove each of them. When the last one was down, he turned his attention to the lock and then the deadbolt on the door itself. He rammed his shoulder into the door a few times and it finally gave way with a little help from Felix. Hackett pushed between both of them to get inside.

They stopped just inside of the room. The light from the hallway didn’t pierce the darkness enough for Hackett to see beyond a few steps. He caught the edge of what looked like an old cot against the far wall.

Telling Felix and Mathis to turn on the flashlights on their rifles, Hackett continued moving forward with their lights guiding him. He found Harlow sitting on the cot with her back against the wall. She blinked at him in disbelief a few times, even rubbing her eyes and then opening them once again.

“Uncle Steven?”

He rushed over to the edge of the bed. “Hello, Poppet.”

Her only response was to lift her leg to show the shackle attached to her left ankle. The three men inhaled sharply almost in unison as they took in not just the metal on her leg but the fact that she’d lost a lot of weight. She appeared to have several fading bruises along the right side of her face.

“Hold on, Sweetheart.” Mathis knelt on the bed and started to work on breaking the lock to release her. He gently eased her leg out of the restraint. Hackett watched Harlow stiffly shift up to hug the man as he murmured, ‘I love you.’

Hackett took her hand when she reached out to him next. He bent down to hug her carefully. “We have you, Poppet.”

“ _Felix._ ”

With one last squeeze, Hackett released Harlow into her husband’s arms. He tried not to listen in as Felix whispered softly into her ear. He had one arm around her back while his other hand brushed through her tangled hair. Hackett turned away when she gripped the edges of the man’s armor and began to cry.

“Harlow?” Hackett carefully touched his hand to her trembling shoulders. “We need to get you to the ship and then Arcturus.”

“No.”

“Poppet?”

She rested her forehead against Felix’s chestplate and then pushed away from him. “Take me to her.”

“Poppet.” Hackett didn’t think that was a good idea at all.

“ _Now_.” She had a dark, anger in her eyes that Hackett had never seen on her. “Did she touch Francisco?”

“Princessa.”

“Did she _touch_ or _speak_ to my son?” Harlow insisted.

“No.” Felix touched his knuckle to her chin. “We were already suspicious of her, and I had ‘Grandpa Steven’ keep him on his ship. He had a wonderful time. He is now on Arcturus with my mother and Cortez’s parents.”

“Did she touch _you?_ ” Harlow swallowed a few times before she got the question out. She licked her dried, cracked lips and smiled in obvious relief when Steve stepped in to hand her a bottle of water. She wrapped her arms around him. “How are you? How is Robert doing?”

“Robert…” Steve glanced around the room and met Hackett’s eyes.

“Steve?” She leaned away from him and took another gulp of water. “What happened?”

“The Collectors.”

“Oh Steve.” She dragged him back into a hug. Hackett knew she had to be hurting from the wince she tried to hide. “I am _so sorry,_ so sorry.”

“It’s definitely her.” Steve gave a relieved sigh. He answered her confusion, “the bitch was cold when I told her. It was another damn thing that told us something was wrong.”

* * *

 

_From: Steven_

_To: Zaeed_

_Subj: Tuchanka._

_We will be there shortly._

_We successfully found the precious item that we foolishly misplaced._

_Steven_

* * *

 

Harlow sat on the edge of the desk in the captain’s quarters on the ship that Hackett was currently, _temporarily_ in command of. She had asked for time to herself. A hot shower, clean clothes and a real, full meal had helped her. She sat in borrowed fatigues that fit her loosely because of the weight she’d lost.

Her fingers shook out her still wet curls. Harlow looked over at the sketchbook on the desk. She was reaching down for it when the door opened and Hackett joined her.

“Uncle Steven?”

“I’d like you to reconsider…”

“No.”

“Poppet.” He trailed off when she rushed over to wrap her arms tightly around him. Harlow turned her head to rest her cheek against the front of his uniform. She hadn’t stopped trembling since they’d found her, but refused to talk about her time in the room. “Are you…at least let the doctor check you over, please?”

“Yeah.” She didn’t like the doctor on the ship. He was too _clinical_. She’d been trying to put off the medical exam until she was back on the _Normandy_ with Doctor Chakwas. “Uncle Steven?”

He shook his head and sighed when he glanced down at her. “I’m not changing my mind, Poppet.”

“Doctor Chakwas…”

“Is on the _Normandy_.” He took her by the arms and pushed her back.

“Please?”

“I… _we_ need to know that you aren’t seriously injured _before_ you step foot on Tuchanka, Poppet.” Hackett wrapped an arm around her shoulders to guide her out of the captain’s quarters. “Let me put my mind at ease.”

* * *

 

_From: Steven Hackett_

_To: David Anderson_

_Subj: Commander Shepard._

_I believe she will be visiting the Citadel shortly._

_In speaking with members of the admiralty, we have jointly decided to reinstate the Commander as an active marine._

_Could you inform the council?_

_You might wait to make the announcement for…a few hours. We have a little matter on Tuchanka to handle and some trash to dispose of._

_Steven_

* * *

 

Harlow was surprised when Steve flew the Alliance shuttle away from the main camp where Wrex had his clan. He landed instead inside a set of ruins. Felix kept his arm around her as they walked towards a secluded part of the structure.

She didn’t really see Zaeed or Wrex, or the rest of the _Normandy_ squad. She didn’t even notice when Zaeed started toward her. Her eyes focused on the woman that was currently being held at gunpoint by Garrus, Grunt stood on the other side of her.

“ _Poppet._ ” Zaeed wrenched her away from Felix into a hug. He swung her around and finally set her down to look her over. “Did they fucking hurt you?”

“I’m fine, Uncle Z.” She grunted when he squeezed her tightly again. “Easy on the ribs.”

He took her chin to gently tilt her head. His eyes took in the fading bruises. He lifted the hem of her shirt enough to see the bruise along her side. His jaw clenched though Harlow wasn’t certain if it was the bruise or the obvious signs that she hadn’t been fed enough.

“I thought they didn’t goddamn hurt you.” Zaeed pressed her into Felix’s arms again. “Hold _her._ ”

_“Uncle Z.”_

He ignored her and stormed over to where Garrus still had his rifle pointed at the clone. Her uncle lifted the clone’s arm to yank off her gauntlet. He removed the rings from her finger. He reached back to hand them to Felix.

“Cover her goddamn eyes.”

Harlow was initially confused by the comment until Felix’s arms wrapped around her. She glanced sharply at Hackett when he moved up and covered her eyes with his hands. Her husband murmured softly in her ear.

She tuned him out to listen to Zaeed who was apparently speaking with the clone. She couldn’t hear his angry words, but heard the single gunshot. When Hackett’s hands fell from her face, she noticed four guns pointed at the clone. She had no idea which had fired the shot.

_Steve, Wrex, Zaeed or Mathis._

 


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments & Subs & Bookmarks & Kudos. It's like coffee and chocolate all rolled into one. =)
> 
> Seriously, thank you. You guys make my day when you leave comments and stuff.
> 
> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Shout to to my Betas and brain storming wonders: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929

“ _No._ ”

Felix shot up in bed. His hand went to the pistol on the nightstand. He let his arm drop when he realized the scream had come from Harlow. She twisted violently underneath the blanket next to him.

“Princessa?” He turned the light on just enough to allow him to see her more clearly as he gently attempted to shake her. “It’s _only_ a dream, amor.”

“Oh.” Harlow twisted on her side toward him. She rubbed her arm across her forehead to clear the moisture from it. “Oh god.”

“Which dream was it?” Felix slid back down under the covers and gathered her in his arms. “Princessa?”

“The Uncle Z one,” she whispered.

Massaging her tense shoulders, Felix began to hum the bars to a lullaby that his mother had sung to him as a child. He often used it to soothe Francisco when he was an infant. He used it now to help Harlow relax. She always said she loved the deep, baritone of his voice.

After ties with Cerberus were cut, Felix asked Hackett to assign him to the _Normandy._ He hadn’t wanted to be separated from her, not again, not after everything. The Admiral hadn’t needed to be convinced.

He touched his lips to her cheek as Harlow shifted in his arms. She burrowed closer and tucked her face against his neck. He murmured softly to her to rest.

Keeping watch over his wife while she slept had become a routine in the course of the past three days. Harlow had suffered from nightmares whenever she tried to sleep. They generally involved either her time with Cerberus or Zaeed shooting her instead of the clone. The latter being the hardest one for her to struggle through.

“Felix?”

He stopped humming. “Princessa?”

“Did you…with the clone, you know?” She pressed her face against his chest when he tried to ease her back.

He’d been waiting for her to ask about the time he spent with the clone. “We did _not_ sleep together.”

“But?”

“We kissed, and touched. It was important for her to believe that we had bought the lies.” Felix cradled her in his arms. “I am sorry, Princessa. It was distasteful and painful for me. If your safety hadn’t been my top concern, I wouldn’t have been able to be in the same room as the woman. She wasn’t _you,_ it didn’t matter that you were identical in appearance. A person is far more than their outward appearance. She lacked your precious, beautiful soul.”

Harlow tilted her head to smile up at him. Felix worried about the shadows that seemed to dim the light in her eyes. Her smile even appeared to be strained.

Shifting up on the bed, Felix was surprised when Harlow touched her lips to his. They hadn’t…he’d been afraid to try anything with her, with the nightmares and the stress of everything. He let her lead the sweet kisses. Her tongue tentatively darted into his mouth, and then retreated as if teasing him.

“Amor?” He leaned far enough to separate them. “I thought…”

“You thought _wrong._ ” Harlow pushed him down on the bed and shifted up to straddle his body. She bent forward to kiss him again. “She touched _my_ husband. I’m suddenly very thankfully to know she’s dead, it would be too tempting to kill her myself.”

“I…”

He found himself silenced by another kiss. In the entire time that he had been with Harlow, he couldn’t recall her taking the lead like this once. He folded his arms behind his head and let her do whatever she wanted. This was about _her_ , not him.

Harlow spent an achingly arousing amount of time caressing and kissing every inch of his skin. Felix kept his arms behind his head. His only active participation was the involuntary lifting of his hips when she strayed close to his cock, and the softly spoken words of encouragement he uttered.

The slight hesitation when Harlow started to straddle him broke Felix’s heart a little. He couldn’t do this for her. She needed the confirmation that this was real. So he slid his hands along her upper thighs and waited patiently.

“ _Felix._ ” She bent forward with her hands on his chest as she slowly guided herself down onto his cock. “I love you.”

He reached up to cup the side of her face with his hand. Her head fell forward eventually as she rode him. His arm went around her back to hold her close while he bucked up into her. They took their time with each other.

They came together and Felix held her tightly against him. He eased them both over on their sides when he realized her trembling from orgasm had turned into tears.

“Amor?” He tilted her chin up with a gently touch of his thumb. His lips brushed hers and then moved up to kiss away the stray tears on her cheeks. “Let me get my fill.”

He channeled his own feelings of helplessness from the past few weeks into treasuring her body in the best way he knew how. His tender touches swept her into a second orgasm. He carefully cleaned her with a warm, moist towel and then held her tightly while she clung to him.

* * *

 

_From: Harlow Shepard_

_To: Gordon Mathis_

_Subj: The Clone._

_I have to know who shot her._

_The nightmares won’t go away and no one will tell me._

_I need to know. Please?_

_Harlow_

* * *

 

_From: Gordon Mathis_

_To: Harlow Shepard_

_Subj: re: The Clone._

_I’m not sure it would help the nightmares. I have a feeling it might make them worse._

_Have you talked to your Uncle Z?_

_How are you doing? I understand that you’ve gotten the Reaper IFF. One step closer to the Collectors._

_Stay safe._

_I love you._

_Gordon_

* * *

 

“Did you do it?” Harlow hopped up on one of the crates in her Uncle Z’s quarters. “Did you?”

“Poppet.”

“Uncle Z.” She watched him work on Jessie for a bit. “I can’t sleep.”

He set the weapon down and cleaned his hands on a rag. He leaned against the bench and focused on her. “Nightmares?”

“I keep seeing…”

“Tell me.”

“You. I keep seeing you shoot me instead of her.” Harlow lifted her gaze when he moved towards her. He took her by the shoulders tightly enough that it hurt. “Uncle Z.”

“I killed that bitch and I don’t feel a shred of goddamn guilt.” He lessened his grip on her, but Harlow realized he was keeping his face turned away from her. “I’m sorry, Poppet.”

She launched herself off of the container into his arms. “Thank you.”

“Poppet?”

“For shooting the right one.” Harlow wound her arms around his neck. “I told him you’d find me.”

“Who?”

“The Illusive Man.”

“I’m going to kill that goddamn bastard,” he promised.

“You’ll have a lot of help.” Harlow would be in line with him to do it. She could handle a lot of things but _not_ a clone trying to take her husband and son from her.

“Collectors first, Poppet.”


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments & Subs & Bookmarks & Kudos. It's like coffee and chocolate all rolled into one. =)
> 
> Seriously, thank you. You guys make my day when you leave comments and stuff.
> 
> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Shout to to my Betas and brain storming wonders: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929

_From: Steven Hackett_

_To: David Anderson_

_Subj: re: The Normandy._

_It just made it back through the Omega-4 Relay._

_Zaeed wouldn’t give me the details. He just said they were dropping off members of the crew on Omega, then heading to the Citadel for badly needed repairs._

_I’m sending one of the special operation units from the 103d division to investigate a missing research team in batarian space. I think it would be wise to have Harlow and the Normandy head to Vancouver. The ship needs retro-fitted, and Harlow needs to be kept somewhere safe until we know if Cerberus is going to try to grab her again._

_And yes, I am aware that she can handle herself._

_I’m sending her to Vancouver with her husband and son. Let them think it’s a vacation._

_Mathis is going to join them; perhaps you’d head there as well? We need to convince the defense committee to start truly preparing for war._

_I am unfortunately stuck on Arcturus while I get the fleets organized, as well as I can without the full support of the committee._

_Steven_

* * *

 

Harlow wasn’t sure _why_ the Alliance was putting them up in an impressive apartment in Vancouver not far from the base. She had a feeling that her Uncle Steven hadn’t given her the complete story when he said that he needed her to ‘tell her story’ to the defense committee. It had let her spend a lot of time with her husband and son so she wasn’t going to question it too much.

“Look, Mommy.” Francisco showed her one of the tricks he’d been working on with his biotics. She had to duck to avoid the book as he moved it through the air. _“Look.”_

“I am _looking_.” Harlow smothered her laugh when the six year old sent the book flying into the back of his father’s head. “It’s ok, Francisco, his head is _really_ hard.”

“Can you go play in your room for a moment?” Felix set the book down and ruffled Francisco’s hair before nudging him in the direction of the bedroom.

“Felix?” Harlow stood up to follow him onto the small balcony on the fourth floor apartment. “What’s wrong?”

“I need to head to Mars. Admiral Hackett asked me to take the _Normandy_ for a test run while you’re answering the committee’s questions tomorrow.” Felix slid his arms around her waist as he stepped up behind her. “My mother won’t be here for another week, so we either let Steve watch our biotic bundle of mischief on the ship or you bribe Anderson to do it.”

“Tempting but no.” Harlow had already been warned by Anderson that Francisco wasn’t going anywhere near his office… _again_. Her son had managed to accidentally knock over everything in the room within five minutes. “He’ll enjoy the trip to Mars.”

“We’ll miss you, Princessa.” His lips brushed against the side of her neck. “What are we going to do when the reapers arrive?”

“Shoot them?”

“You spend too much time with Zaeed,” Felix laughed. “We need a plan for Francisco.”

 _“Yeah._ ” Harlow had been trying to avoid thinking about her little son in the middle of a war. “Keep him safe, keep him on the _Normandy?_ He might not be _safe_ , but he’d be with us.”

Anderson wanted Harlow at the Alliance building bright and early in the morning. She left before either her son or husband were awake. They were supposed to be back from Mars by lunch time to join her and Anderson for lunch.

She was in the middle of her testimony to the committee when the inevitable happened. Anderson pulled her away as a blast from the reapers sent the room into chaos. They both dived just in time to miss flying debris.

He tossed his spare pistol to her. “We need to get you out of here.”

“And go where?” Harlow stepped out onto the ledge that went around the outside of the building. She could see multiple reapers landing with their red beams decimating everything they touched. “You’re the highest ranking Alliance officer alive right now on Earth. We _have_ to get you somewhere safe.”

“Harlow.”

“ _Uncle David._ ” Harlow gripped his arm. “Let’s go.”

* * *

 

_From: Steven_

_To: Zaeed_

_Subj: Invasion._

_I’m safe with the Fifth Fleet. I had to make some hard decisions to ensure we even have a fleet._

_Felix and Francisco were on the Normandy near Mars when the reapers hit Earth. They are safe, but unable to make it back to Vancouver for Harlow. I’ve ordered Felix to head to the Citadel and placed him in command of the ship for now. Martiza was on Arcturus and I believe it was completely destroyed._

_The Poppet._

_She was giving testimony to the committee. I believe she was with Anderson. I can’t reach either of them or Mathis for that matter. The comm buoys are down and we haven’t gotten emergency systems in place._

_Where are you? Are you safe?_

_I love you._

_Steven_

* * *

 

“Dad?” Harlow stepped cautiously into the damaged apartment building.

Once Anderson was busy organizing what Alliance forces were still alive in the city, Harlow snuck away to attempt to find Mathis. She crawled over the debris blocking the staircase until she made it up to the third floor. She had to crawl underneath the partial demolished wall and front door to get into the living room.

She stood back up and walked forward until to bump into a mass of dead husks. Her boots slid in the muck. “Ew. That is…ew. Mathis? Dad? Are you here?”

Continuing through to the hallway, Harlow made her way to the bedrooms. She found his room had been almost completely destroyed, the back wall blown out by a blast from a reaper. She started to climb out of the building to traverse the debris down to the ground when someone grabbed her wrist.

She swung around with her weapon drawn to find Mathis glaring at her. “Oh thank god.”

“This is _not_ the Alliance compound.” Mathis let go of her arm but continued to frown at her. “What the _hell_ are you doing?”

“Making sure that you weren’t dead.” She noticed the hastily tied bandage around his arm. “The compound was one of the first things they destroyed.

Ignoring his protest, Harlow quickly removed what appeared to be a ripped up t-shirt and applied medi-gel to the wound. As they made their way across the city to where Anderson was, she filled Mathis in on what had happened. She focused on killing husks and getting safely to Anderson, it kept her thoughts from the rest of her family.

* * *

 

_From: Felix_

_To: Harlow_

_Subj: Are you there?_

_We tried to make it to Vancouver but it was too late. We barely made it out of Sol alive. Francisco is fine. Doctor Chakwas is on the ship now; she’s keeping an eye on him. Steve was on the Normandy as well, so he’s watching out for our little mischief maker._

_Are you hurt, Amor?_

_My mother was on Arcturus. She didn’t make it, no one there did. I wish I’d taken your advice to invite her back to Vancouver with us earlier._

_Please let me know that you’re there, Princessa._

_Felix_

 

 


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments & Subs & Bookmarks & Kudos. It's like coffee and chocolate all rolled into one. =)
> 
> Seriously, thank you. You guys make my day when you leave comments and stuff.
> 
> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Shout to to my Betas and brain storming wonders: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929

The moment they arrived in a relatively secure location, Harlow found a private corner of the room. She sat on the floor with her head in her hands. She had tried for three days to reach _anyone_ in her family with no luck.

No one on Earth had succeeded in establishing a connection with anyone outside of Sol. Anderson and Mathis kept telling her not to lose hope. Harlow found patience almost beyond her when her husband, son…almost her entire family could be dead.

_Or worse, husks._

She didn’t know if husks were worse. It felt that way to her. Every time she fired her weapon at one, she wondered who the creature had been before the reapers killed and reformed it.

“Harlow?”

She lifted her head to find Mathis standing in front of her. “Are we moving again?”

“Not yet.” Mathis crouched beside her when she didn’t stand up. He took her hand in his. “They’ll be fine.”

“Look around, fine left the planet the minuet the invasion started.” Harlow tilted her head until it rested on the wall behind her. She clung to his hand as she whispered her greatest fear. “What if they’re _all_ gone already?”

Mathis stood up and pulled her up with him. He held her close. “Stay strong, Harlow. We’ve got a long fight ahead of us.”

“All I can think about is my beautiful little boy being turned into one of those mindless creatures.” Harlow had tried so hard to keep her emotions in check, to be the _calm_ Commander Shepard. She had no idea how Hackett, Anderson and Mathis always managed to keep such a stoic façade no matter the situation. She didn’t have it in her. “Is this how you felt when I died? How did you handle it?”

“I’m not…” He trailed off when Anderson yelled out to both of them. He squeezed her tight then led her over to the Admiral. “David?”

Anderson took Harlow by the arm and dragged her in front of the terminal the techs had been working on for hours. “Say hello.”

Harlow glanced at the vid-screen and immediately covered her hand with her mouth to muffle the relieved sob threatening to escape. “ _Uncle Steven.”_

“Hello, Poppet.” He looked beyond exhausted. “We’ve been worried.”

“ _You’ve_ been worried?” She wrapped her arms around herself. “Have you heard from Felix? Or Uncle Z? Or Steve?”

“Slow down, Poppet.” He had the look that usually meant he wanted to hug her. “Felix, Francisco, Steve and my husband are all currently aboard the _Normandy_. They’re all safe, not a scratch on any of them.”

“What about Martiza?” Harlow noticed he’d left Felix’s mother out of the list.”

“She didn’t make it off Arcturus in time. I’m so sorry.” His image flickered on the comm. “Hello? Can you…”

“Damn it.” Harlow kicked the wall in frustration.

“The techs…”

“Are idiots.” Harlow snatched the tools from one of the soldiers. “Let me, I’m better at it and I need a distraction.”

They left her alone to fiddle with the terminal. Harlow couldn’t get the vid-comm working again. She thought the screen itself had been damaged. She did manage to reconnect to the extra-net. They would at least be able to send out messages until the reapers forced them to move.

She had… _several_ …unread messages.

* * *

 

_From: Uncle Z_

_To: Harlow_

_Subj: Alive._

_You better goddamn be alive, Poppet, to appreciate my bloody suffering._

_I’m stuck on a ship with your husband and I’m not allowed to shoot him. It’s a massive sacrifice on my part._

_I’ll keep your family safe._

_Keep yourself safe._

_Love,_

_Uncle Z_

* * *

 

_From: Felix_

_To: Harlow_

_Subj: Hope._

_I’m still hoping that you’ll receive this message._

_Admiral Hackett tells me that no one has been able to get through to Earth. They’re slowly repairing some of the comm buoys._

_We miss you._

_Francisco is keeping your Uncle Zaeed very busy. It’s a good thing since it keeps him from wanting to shoot me._

_I am currently on my way to Sur’Kesh. Hackett has asked me to attempt to get support from the Council. It’s complicated, as you know from past experience. Wrex has demanded something from the salarians that I now have to try to make happen._

_How the hell did you deal with all of these politicians for so long, Amor?_

_Wrex asked where you were. He’s demanded that you stay alive._

_I love you, Princessa. So does Francisco._

_Felix_

* * *

 

_From: Harlow_

_To: Felix_

_Subj: re: Hope._

_I only have a second, Anderson needs the terminal. It’s the first time we’ve gotten it working._

_I’m alive. I’m with Mathis, Anderson and the rest of the troops still alive in Vancouver. We’re on the move a lot. I’ve got my omni-tool. I’m hoping as the comm buoys are restored, it’ll work again._

_I love you, god I love you. Tell Francisco, that Mommy will keep her promise to not go back to heaven. I’ll do my damn best._

_And tell Uncle Z that he’s not allowed to shoot you._

_Love,_

_Harlow_

* * *

 

_From: Harlow S._

_To: Steve C._

_Subj: Normandy._

_Don’t bury yourself in the damn shuttle bay, alright? Get off the ship occasionally._

_Keep an eye on my son too._

_And don’t get shot, I’d miss you too much._

_Harlow_


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments & Subs & Bookmarks & Kudos. It's like coffee and chocolate all rolled into one. =)
> 
> Seriously, thank you. You guys make my day when you leave comments and stuff.
> 
> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Shout to to my Betas and brain storming wonders: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929

_From: David Anderson_

_To: Steven Hackett_

_Subj: re: London._

_We’re trying to get there._

_It’s not exactly easy to find a working shuttle in this city._

_You should be proud of Commander Shepard. She’s proving that she’s the officer we all knew her to be. If we get out of Vancouver, it’ll be because of her tenacity. She refuses to give up on fixing transportation for us. I never thought your niece’s obsession with engines would come in handy._

_Anderson_

* * *

 

It had taken Harlow two weeks to get the shuttle they’d found working. The Kodiak wouldn’t hold all of them. Ten marines would stay in Vancouver to attempt to find another mode of transportation to get them out of the city. It wasn’t ideal, but they couldn’t waste time trying to find a second one while she worked on the first one.

The goal was for them all to get safely to London. The Alliance forces on Earth were gathering there. It was the one city that still seemed to have some level of structure to it.   It was also where the reapers were focusing their energies.

A day before they were planning on leaving Vancouver, Harlow overheard Mathis and Anderson talking. She had just finished getting the shuttle working. It seemed Mathis intended to stay with the other marines. There was no way she would leave him behind. The soldiers staying weren’t equipped to repair an engine if it was badly damaged, they’d be screwed.

Just as the door to the shuttle was closing the next morning, Harlow hopped out of it. Mathis didn’t see her until the Kodiak was already gone. He strode towards her with his jaw clenched and his eyes flashing with anger. It reminded her of times at boot camp when he went in full drill instructor mode.

“What the _hell_ are you doing?” He towered over her with his hands on his hips.

“Making sure you’re not stuck here.   You know you’ll need a shuttle mechanic, and I’m the closest damn thing you’ve got to one.” Harlow stood her ground.

“I wanted you safe.” He grabbed the shoulders of her armor to shake her lightly. “You…were supposed to get out of here. We don’t know if we’ll find another shuttle. It took us a week to find that one.”

“And you honestly believed I would willingly leave my father behind?” Harlow pushed his hands away. “What kind of soldier do you think I am? What kind of daughter? We go together, or not at all. You wouldn’t leave me behind, would you?”

_“Harlow.”_

“We need to get moving, _Sir._ ” She put more space between them. She might not enjoy being in the Alliance, but people were dying. It was time to do her job. “There’s an Alliance repair depot sixteen miles to the north. It’s our best chance for a second shuttle. It’s far enough outside of the city that maybe it isn’t completely destroyed.”

“You fight like your mother,” Mathis complained. “You’re not supposed to fight with logic, it’s damned frustrating.”

“Dad?” She grabbed his arm. “I was _never_ going to leave Vancouver without you. _Never.”_

“You make me cry in front of these marines and I will have you doing push-ups until your arms fall off,” he growled.

“Men.” Harlow rolled her eyes. “Let’s find a ride.”

* * *

 

_From: Uncle Steven_

_To: Harlow_

_Subj: re: Vancouver._

_I’d ask what you were thinking, but I already know._

_Family comes first for you. I understand that, Poppet, even if it is Mathis._

_I’m proud of you._

_Felix is doing well in command. He handled the Krogan; I think the fact that Wrex is worried about you being on Earth helped things along. He also managed to stop a coup on the Citadel. You were right about their being something wrong with Udina._

_Are you safe? Have you found enough feed? Are you eating?_

_I love you, Poppet. I want to send a ship to pick you up, but I have a feeling you wouldn’t leave._

_Uncle Steven_

* * *

 

_Inter-Relay Text Chat_

_Location: Vancouver_

_From: Harlow S._

_To: Steve C._

_H: Scale of one to ten, how hard is it to fix the engine I just send you an image of?_

_S: - 1,000._

_H: I need you to think a little more positively. It’s the best option I have. The only option._

_S: Shit. You’re screwed._

_H: Accurate assessment._

_S: Are there any other Kodiaks at the repair depot?_

_H: Six, all of them too damaged to fly._

_S: Yes, but what do their engines look like?_

_H: Four are completely destroyed._

_S: If you can find at least some of the parts you need undamaged, I’d wager you can cobble that thing together. Remember when we fixed my skycar?_

_H: How could I forget…oh…you are a goddamn genius._

_S: I know._

_H: Steve?_

_S: What?_

_H: How are…is everyone?_

_S: Felix is fine. Francisco is…worried about his mommy. He’s convinced, I think, that you’re going back to heaven. He’s spending a lot of time with your Uncle Z, which is good. Massani is much nicer when his grandson is around._

_H: I need you to promise me something._

_S: Harlow._

_H: I’m serious._

_S: What?_

_H: Don’t let them get turned into husks._

_S: Harlow._

_H: You haven’t seen it here. We can’t save anyone. We’re barely saving ourselves. I’ve seen what they’re doing to the humans that they don’t kill. If they don’t harvest them like they did on the collector base, they’re turning them into husks. Do not let that happen to my baby._

_S: I won’t. I hate you for making me think about it._

_H: Yeah, yeah. Oh hey, I met this really cute marine. His name is Jacques, he’s single. Sending you a vid of him in action. I’m so hooking you two up when I see you again._

_S: I no longer hate you._

_H: Time to go. I need to rip apart those other two engines._

_User has disconnected._

* * *

 

“Harlow?” Mathis followed her over to one of the damaged shuttles. “How can I help?”

“Keep Jacques alive, I need him for a date for Steve.” Harlow slid underneath the shuttle and started unscrewing the under-cladding to get to the parts she needed. “I have an idea.”

“A good one?”

“Maybe.” Harlow tilted her head to the side to find Mathis on the ground peering underneath the shuttle. “It’s better than no plan.”


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments & Subs & Bookmarks & Kudos. It's like coffee and chocolate all rolled into one. =)
> 
> Seriously, thank you. You guys make my day when you leave comments and stuff.
> 
> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Shout to to my Betas and brain storming wonders: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929

_From: Harlow_

_To: Felix_

_Subj: re: David Archer._

_I’m so glad that he’s thriving at the Crucible. I hope Uncle Steve keeps an eye on his brother though. I wouldn’t trust that man anywhere near David. Did Francisco get to spend time with him? I know they got close at Grissom._

_God I miss you both._

_Mathis went out with some of the other marines to get supplies. I’ve almost got this shuttle fixed. Never replaced an engine so damn quickly without help. It’s…it has to work. We’re going to be in a bad way if it doesn’t._

_Good luck on Rannoch._

_I love you, and Francisco. Tell Uncle Z to stop growling at everyone._

_Harlow_

* * *

 

The three marines Mathis left with Harlow at the depot spread out to keep watch. She kept her attention focused on the Kodiak. She had it working, but needed to fix the navigation system. It was currently showing their location as Los Angeles, not very helpful. She was squashed underneath the pilot’s seat trying to fix the damn thing when gunshots caught her attention.

She grabbed her file and stepped out of the shuttle to find husks overwhelming the marines at the entrance to the depot warehouse. _Oh god._ She took out the three closest husks, but stayed by the shuttle. It _had_ to be protected.

_At all costs._

One of the soldiers closest to the door went down; the other two fell back to a second barricade closer to Harlow. The three of them fought off wave after wave of husks. It seemed to go on forever.

While switching out clips, Harlow glanced up just in time to see a husk leaping down from a rafter onto her. _Oh shit._ She struggled underneath the thing while grappling for her rifle that had been thrown to the side. She grabbed the knife Zaeed had given her from her boot and slammed it repeatedly up into the husk’s neck.

“He’s dead, Commander.” One of the marines lifted the body off of her and tossed it to the side.

Harlow’s hands shook as she cleaned the knife and put it away. Her armor was covered in gunk. She ordered the marine to give Mathis an updated while she cleaned up with an oily rag.

_Better oil than guts._

Stepping back into the Kodiak, Harlow crawled back underneath the wiring to finish repairing the navigation. They _had_ to get the hell out of Vancouver. She had her head and hands buried in it when someone tapped her boot.

“If you’re a husk, you’re going to have to wait to try to kill me,” Harlow muttered. She cursed loudly when she sliced her hand on part of the shuttle. “Ow.”

“Harlow?” Mathis tapped her boot again then gripped her leg to slide her out from underneath it. He grabbed her hand then applied medi-gel to the cut. “Good job on the fix.”

“We can leave anytime.” Harlow hopped up to her feet. She gingerly moved her fingers to test the healed cut. “Thanks.”

“Let’s get the gear in the Kodiak.” Mathis looked at the smeared crud on the front of her armor. “What happened?”

“War?”

“Harlow.”

She shouldered past him to help the other load the supplies they’d found into the cargo area.   Since she’d be flying, it was up to her to get everything loaded perfectly. Loading took three hours, mostly because husks attacked twice causing everything to stop.

Wishing Steve was with her; Harlow got into the pilot’s seat and strapped herself in. She glanced up when Mathis sat beside her.   Closing her eyes for a few moments to prepare herself, she got the shuttle off of the ground and out of the depot hangar.

The night before, Harlow had worked with Mathis to plot their path to London. They were already on the outskirts of Vancouver. It would be a longer trip, but she would fly them north into the less populated areas, and then start the journey east towards the Atlantic Ocean and London itself.

She kept them low to the ground. Mathis had argued with her about it, but her theory was that low to the ground they might avoid notice. She’d been watching the shuttles when the invasion happened. The ones that got away were the ones low to the ground, darting between buildings. The ones that immediately tried for higher altitudes were picked off like fish in a barrel.

It took them over nine hours to _get_ to London. The shuttle took a hit from some sort of creature just as they entered the city. Harlow managed to keep it in the air and get to the Forward Operating Base Anderson had set up and landed. Her hands shook with the effort it had taken to keep it under control.

“Harlow?”

“Leave me alone for a few minutes, Dad.” She bent forward with her head in her hands trying to slow her heart rate.

“I’ve got a better idea.” Mathis grabbed the back of her armor and lifted her out of the seat. “Come on.”

“ _Dad_.” She stumbled a little as he led her across the base. She waved at Anderson who was in conversation with Major Jacques Durand. She really needed to get him and Steve together. They’d make a great couple. “Where are we going?”

“They have a comm terminal set up.” Mathis led her into a room where she found the vid-comm. “I think there are several people who’d like to _see_ you.”

“I’d hug you but hugging in armor hurts.” Harlow laughed when he hugged her anyway. “Ow my nose.”

“Talk to your husband and son.” Mathis left her alone for a little privacy.

The thirty minute conversation with Felix and Francisco didn’t feel like enough, but Harlow didn’t want to hog the damn comm. There were plenty of soldiers who didn’t have the luxury of spending that long with their families.   She told him to tell her uncles that she’d get them the next time.

_Or not._

She started to step out of the room and Anderson backed her up into it. He told the comm specialist to contact Admiral Hackett. She shook her head with a laugh when Anderson told her to _stay_ put, he was tired of getting messages every five seconds on whether she’d arrived yet.

“ _Poppet_.”

“Uncle Steven. I thought you were supposed to abuse your authority for personal reasons.” Harlow wished she’d taken the time to find somewhere to rinse off her armor. She had to blink back tears that she’d held in while talking to Felix. “We made it.”

“So I see.” He smiled at her, though she thought he looked as emotional as she was. “I’m sending the _Normandy_ to Thessia. We believe there’s information there that will solve the missing piece of the Crucible.”

“Good.”

“Stay in the FOB, Poppet,” he ordered.

_“Uncle Steven.”_

“I love you. Hackett out.”

* * *

 

_From: Harlow S._

_To: Steve C._

_Subj: Dates._

_So, Major Jacques Durand is thirty-five. I already sent you a vid of him. And I showed him a picture of you._

_I’m sending him your extra-net address, try not to embarrass yourself._

_You can send gratitude by way of keeping my husband and son out of trouble._

_Love,_

_Harlow_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Face Reference: Jacques: http://pixelatrix.tumblr.com/post/85315353376/silverfoxmen-weston-boucher


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments & Subs & Bookmarks & Kudos. It's like coffee and chocolate all rolled into one. =)
> 
> Seriously, thank you. You guys make my day when you leave comments and stuff.
> 
> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Shout to to my Betas and brain storming wonders: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929

_From: Uncle Steven_

_To: Harlow_

_Subj: London._

_We’re on our way to Sol._

_Be safe._

_Uncle Steven_

* * *

 

“Where is he?” Harlow left the armored vehicle she’d finished repairing as Kodiaks started landing in the FOB. Mathis grabbed her arm when she went by. “Dad?”

“His shuttle had a little trouble. They’ve stopped to pick up some weapons to take out one of the reapers. Anderson went to pick them up.” Mathis redirected her toward one of the turrets on the overhead walkway. “It keeps jamming.”

“I saw you break it two minutes ago.” Harlow rolled her eyes at him. She figured it would take maybe a minute to fix it. “Stop trying to distract me.”

“It’s my job.” He pushed her toward the turret. “Go forth and fix.”

“Funny.”

She was finishing up the _fix_ when her name was called. She glanced up in time to see Zaeed climbing up the ladder to meet her. He dragged her away from the turret into a hug.

“ _Poppet._ ”

“Hi.”

“Hi?” He took her by the chin to tilt her head up. His eyes narrowed suspiciously. “What are you planning?”

“Me?” Harlow had overhead the report on Felix’s shuttle going down in more detail from Major Coats before he left with Anderson.

_Steve flew that shuttle._

Given Hackett wasn’t likely to want both of his grandson’s parents on the frontline. Harlow had a feeling she would be relegated to the FOB. She intended find Steve to make sure he wasn’t injured.

“ _Felix._ ” Harlow darted around her uncle. She slid down the ladder and jogged across the street to where her husband was talking with Major Coats and Admiral Anderson. “Felix.”

“Did she…” He trailed off when he spotted her. “Princessa.”

He pulled her away from the others back into the empty shuttle for at least the pretense of privacy. Between the murmured ‘I love yous,’ Felix told her that Francisco was safely ensconced on an Alliance Dreadnought with Admiral Hackett. They didn’t say it, but they both felt at least he’d have a better chance of survival.

“Anderson is waiting.” Felix brushed his knuckle against her cheek then drew her in for a kiss. He rested his forehead against hers. “I love you, Amor. Whatever happens tonight, I have always loved you.”

Zaeed found her still standing in the same spot ten minutes later. “Poppet?”

“I’m going to lose someone.” Harlow hadn’t been able to shake the dark feeling in her heart for days. “It feels like the way it did the morning before my parents died.”

“Harlow.”

“I’m going to get Steve.” She looked beyond Zaeed to where the joint forces were preparing to leave the base. It was time for the final push. “I can’t leave him out there.”

While the bulk of all the troops moved forward, Harlow went the opposite direction towards the last known coordinates for the crashed Kodiak. Zaeed and Jacques followed close behind. It didn’t take long to find it. They were lucky the reaper forces were focused on Anderson and the others.

The crashed shuttle was buried underneath the remains of a second Kodiak. A small gap between one of the doors was the only available opening. It would’ve been too small for Steve, but without her armor, Harlow thought she could squeeze through it.

“No.” Zaeed started towards her as she tossed her helmet on the ground. “Poppet, no bloody way.”

Harlow continued removing her armor while ignoring Zaeed’s order. He tried to stop her as she shimmied under the gap. She kicked his hand away and disappeared inside the Kodiak. She slid to the front of the vehicle and found her best friend slumped in his seat.

_Oh god._

“Steve?”

With the shuttle parked at an angle, Harlow had to use her boots against his seat for leverage to get closer without falling on him. She touched her fingers to his neck and found his pulse strong. She talked to him about Jacques while trying to gently wake him.

The ground rumbled around them. Harlow heard Zaeed yelling over the comm to get ‘her goddamn ass outside.’ A reaper was apparently moving in their direction. She lifted Steve up into her arms and dragged him slowly toward the gap only to find it had gotten even smaller.

_He wouldn’t fit._

_And neither would she._

“I’m _not_ leaving him,” she insisted to Zaeed.

“Poppet.”

“Major Durand.” Harlow focused on Jacques. “We need the portable vehicle lifter that I left at the FOB. It should work to separate this door further to let me _and_ Steve out. Take my uncle back to the base, when the Reaper moves on; bring him back with the lifter.”

“Are you attempting to order a Major around, Commander?” Jacques sounded amused.

“No, Sir. Admiral Hackett wouldn’t want to unnecessarily risk his husband. I’m stuck.” Harlow closed her eyes at a choked sound that likely came from Zaeed. “I can’t get out, and you two standing there trying to get killed won’t help me out. Now get out of here.”

“I’m not bloody leaving you, Poppet.” Zaeed was shouting now. She heard a sound like a fist hitting the outside of the shuttle.

_“Major Durand.”_

“We’ll be back, Shepard. Godspeed,”  Jacques responded.

“Poppet.”

“I know, Uncle Z, I know.” Harlow shifted Steve down into a more secure part of the shuttle. She continued to try to wake him up.

* * *

 

_From: Zaeed_

_To: Steven_

_Subj: Harlow._

_She crawled into a goddamn shuttle to save Cortez._

_There’s a fucking reaper between me and her._

_We have to stop them._

_Zaeed_

* * *

 

It took Zaeed an agonizing three hours to get back to the shuttle with a contingent of marines with him. The reapers had already been stopped. His husband was leading the hunt for Felix on the Citadel, along with any other survivors. It was going to be a very, very long morning and it was barely five o’clock.

_Francisco needed his parents – alive and well._

_Both of them._

The vehicle was buried under part of a wall. It looked partially crushed from where Zaeed stood. Even if it was just two bodies, he planned on bringing them home. He wasn’t leaving her out here.

When they finally got the top off of the Kodiak, Zaeed spotted Harlow almost immediately. She was curled around her friend’s body. She’d clearly been attempting to shield him from whatever had been happening.

“Is she alive?” Zaeed couldn’t make himself move, but then he couldn’t imagine someone else’s hands on her checking. He shoved the medic out of the way to leap into the shuttle. “She better goddamn be alive.”

 

 


	41. Chapter 41

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a two chapter day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments & Subs & Bookmarks & Kudos. It's like coffee and chocolate all rolled into one. =)
> 
> Seriously, thank you. You guys make my day when you leave comments and stuff.
> 
> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Shout to to my Betas and brain storming wonders: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929

Everything hurt when Harlow woke up. She tried to move but found her arms and legs wouldn’t cooperate. She could feel them but not move more than a slight shift on the bed. She opened her eyes to find herself strapped to a hospital bed. She looked over to her right where Mathis was stretched out asleep on a fold-out cot. Zaeed was asleep in a chair on the left.

She couldn’t lift her arms to touch her Uncle Z who was slumped back with his hand resting on her blanket. “Uncle Z?”

Neither of the men stirred at all. Harlow really wanted a drink. She licked her lips and cleared her throat. She spoke a little louder this time and they both shot to their feet with confused looks.

“ _Poppet_.” Zaeed took a step and was next to the bed in an instant. He wrapped strong, calloused fingers around her hand. “Don’t move.”

“I can’t.”

“You injured your spine. They’ve got it fixed, but you need to stay stationary for a few more days.” He sat on the edge of the bed. “Don’t you ever fucking send me away again… _ever._ ”

“I had to…”

Zaeed glared down at her. “ _Never_ again, Poppet.”

“Where’s Felix and Uncle Steven?” Harlow twisted her head around to Mathis as he took her other hand. “Dad.”

“Felix…” Mathis’ eyes were sympathetic.

_“No.”_

“He’s missing, Harlow.” His hand tightened on hers. “Admiral Hackett doing everything he can to find him. There was a lot of damage to the area of the Citadel that Felix was in.   It’s taking longer than expected. We’re not giving up.”

“And Steve?”

“He’s alive and in the room across the hall.” Mathis held his hand up. “You can’t move yet.”

“Damn it.” Harlow couldn’t wipe the tears from her eyes. “Uncle Z?”

He wiped her eyes for her and pushed the hair from the side of her face. “Francisco is being entertained by Doctor Chakwas. We’ll let him come see you later.”

“Find my husband.”

Being stationary messed with Harlow’s mind. She’d never really been claustrophobic but she imagined it felt a little like her current situation. Even visits from her son and former crew didn’t help. She wanted out of the bed to help search for Felix.

* * *

 

_From: Harlow S.  
_

_To: Steve C.  
_

_Subj: re: Hello._

_This is stupid._

_We’re only two rooms away from each other._

_Why can’t you leave your room? I’m still strapped to the bed. I think it’s payback from Uncle Z for making him leave._

_Did you meet Jacques yet?_

_Harlow_

* * *

 

_From: Steve C.  
_

_To: Harlow S.  
_

_Subj: re: Hello._

_It is stupid._

_I’m not strapped to the bed, but I’ve been seriously lectured about the importance of staying in a horizontal position. The doctor didn’t like my suggestion about things I could do in a horizontal position. Jacques would come in handy for a couple of those._

_I did meet him. He invited me on a date once I’m out of the hospital._

_I take back all the nasty things I said about you at some point._

_Seriously though, Harlow, thanks for finding me. Zaeed told me that you stayed with me in the shuttle. He wasn’t very pleased with me, though I did point out that I wasn’t conscious for any of it._

_Any word on Francisco?_

_Steve_

* * *

 

_From: Steven_

_To: Zaeed_

_Subj: re: news._

_I’m heading back to Earth._

_I’ll update the Poppet while I’m there._

_Steven_

* * *

 

Harlow had finally managed to convince the doctors to at least let her sit up. Francisco was sitting on the end of her hospital bed playing a game with Zaeed. She watched with a bright smile on her face, though she wasn’t feeling anything but worry. No one had answers about where Felix was.

“When will Uncle Steven be here?” Harlow pretended she didn’t hear the lie when Zaeed said he didn’t know. “Uncle Z.”

“How about now, Poppet?”

She glanced up as Hackett stepped into the room. Her initial happiness dimmed when she realized Zaeed had taken Francisco from the room. “It’s bad news, isn’t it?”

_“Poppet.”_

“Did you find Felix? Did you find my husband?” Harlow batted away his hands. “Answer me.”

 


	42. Chapter 42

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy. I'll probably come back and do an epilogue at some point.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments & Subs & Bookmarks & Kudos. It's like coffee and chocolate all rolled into one. =)
> 
> Seriously, thank you. You guys make my day when you leave comments and stuff.
> 
> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Shout to to my Betas and brain storming wonders: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929

Three long days went by; Harlow had just about completely lost hope. She’d overheard a few of the doctors talking about all the bodies being found in the keeper tunnels on the Citadel. There were apparently hundreds of dead _and_ injured still unidentified. Dear or injured. She hoped Felix was simply one of the many wounded.

Her Uncle Steven was conveniently unavailable whenever Harlow wanted to speak to him. She thought he felt guilty about not having news about Felix. Mathis told her both of her uncles were spending a lot for time looking for her husband

_She was confined to the hospital._

_Not for long._

Steve, Vega and Traynor came to _visit_ Harlow. They’d managed to borrow a Kodiak from Major Coats. Traynor played decoy while Vega and Steve helped Harlow outside to the waiting shuttle.

“How’s Jacques?” Harlow eased herself into the seat beside Steve as he piloted them towards the Citadel.

“Out of my league.”

“Ignore Esteban, Lola.” Vega leaned against the back of Steve’s seat. “He’s been making eyes at the Major for the past three days.”

“Oh really?” Harlow turned to Vega for more gossip. “And?”

“They have a date tonight.” Vega shrugged when Steve glared at him. “Sorry, Esteban.”

“Mr. Vega needs to…”

“Hey, Steve, don’t hide your excitement. Whether Felix is…don’t hide your happiness for my sake.” Harlow hit his arm with the back of her hand. “He better treat you right.”

It took three hours to look at all the unidentified bodies. _No Felix._ Bailey told Harlow it wasn’t even close to all the dead on the station. He suggested the three of them try the triage centers set up around the station for the injured. There were many amongst the living yet to be identified.

Doctor Michel lectured Harlow about ‘escaping’ from her hospital bed; apparently someone in London had alerted ‘all medical staff’ to the missing Commander Shepard. When Harlow wouldn’t back down, the doctor directed her over to a row of gurneys and cots set up along a hallway as a make-shift hospital room. Steve squeezed her hand as they started to walk down each row.

_“I have to find him, Steve.”_

* * *

 

_From: Zaeed_

_To: Steven_

_Subj: Felix._

_The Poppet found him._

_Doctor Michael and Chakwas are coordinating moving Felix to Earth, to the hospital that Harlow is supposed to be resting it._

_He’s alive, not conscious, apparently suffered severe head trauma._

_The Poppet is going to need us. I know the Alliance is a bloody mess right now, but she’s the goddam priority so get your ass back here._

_Zaeed_

* * *

 

“Please wake up.” Harlow clutched at Felix’s hand. She had snuck out of her own hospital bed to sit next to his at two in the morning. His usually strong fingers were limp in hers. “I need you. Our beautiful son needs you. I can’t…I can’t do this without you.”

“Poppet?”

She glanced toward the door to find Hackett. “I’m not leaving him.”

“You should be resting.” He walked the few steps from the door to her and crouched by her chair. “It’s late. He’ll be here in the morning.”

“Not leaving,” she insisted stubbornly. “What if…he might…I want to be here in case he dies in the night. He shouldn’t be alone when he dies.”

“Poppet.”

She turned her haunted gaze to meet Hackett’s eyes. “I know what dying alone feels like, Uncle Steven. I’m not moving from this chair, and if you carry me away, I’ll be right back here the moment I’m alone. So either cuff me to the bed in my room, or let me sit here in peace with my husband.”

“He needs you to be healthy, Poppet.” He moved his hand from the back of her chair to her shoulder. “At least let me have them bring in a second bed for you to rest, we can push them together so you feel close to him.”

“Fine.”

“He’ll…”

“Don’t give me lies, Uncle Steven; I know the odds of him waking up aren’t in my favor.” Harlow bent forward until her head rested against Felix’s hand. “He has to fight for us. He has to.”

Hackett wrapped his arm around her shoulder. “He will.”

* * *

 

_From: Steve_

_To: Harlow_

_Subj: re: Date._

_It went well, right up until, Mr. Vega decided to crash the party, literally and figuratively. I’ll fill you in on that later when I’m at the hospital. We decided our second date will be a secret._

_I’m sorry but I have to say I agree with your Uncles. You staying up all night isn’t helping anyone. Get some rest. Francisco needs at least one of his parents to be healthy._

_And don’t say it; I know I’ve now abandoned you in your time of need. I’ll make it up to you by bringing your sketchbook; I found it on the Normandy._

_Steve_

* * *

 

The first thing Felix saw when he opened his eyes was Harlow asleep on a bed a few feet away from him. It took him several minutes to realize where he was. The last thing he remembered was shooting the Illusive Man. He’d been consumed with anger when he saw the man who caused his wife so much pain.

_Everything that came after shooting the Cerberus head was a blur._

He shifted to the edge of his bed and reached his arm out to grip the gurney Harlow rested on. It took more strength than he should probably have been using to drag it closer. He twisted around on his side to face her. His fingers pushed back her hair so he could see her face.

“Princessa?” He traced some of the new scars on her cheek and ran his thumb across her lips. “Wake up, amor.”

Felix watched her slowly start to wake up. Her brow furrowed in confusion and her hand shot up to catch his with he ran his finger along her forehead. Her eyes opened and immediately turned towards him.

“Oh my god. Oh god.” She was up out of the bed so she could awkwardly hug him. Her face pressed to his neck and he could feel her tears on his skin. “Oh thank god, you’re awake. I kept…”

“I’m here, Princessa.” He shifted on the bed to allow her enough room to stretch out beside him. They held on to each other in silence for a while. “Francisco?”

“Safe, happily driving my uncles to distraction.” Harlow tilted her head to smile up at him. “I was worried.”

“I could never leave you, Amor.” He slid his fingers through her hair to gently press her back down on his chest. “Never.”

 _“Good.”_ She lifted up to press her lips to his. “I should call the nurse.”

“You should rest your head against my chest and let me hold you.” Felix rested his hand on her neck, his thumb pushing her head back so he could kiss her again. “The doctors can wait until I am satisfied.”

“Satisfied?”

“That we’re _both_ alive.”

 


	43. Chapter 43

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I thought Harlow deserved a little epilogue. It didn't go quite where i wanted it, but it's still good I think.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments & Subs & Bookmarks & Kudos. It's like coffee and chocolate all rolled into one. =)
> 
> Seriously, thank you. You guys make my day when you leave comments and stuff.
> 
> Bioware owns all. Sadly.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Shout to to my Betas and brain storming wonders: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929

“Mom? _Mom._ ”

Harlow massaged her scalp with a grimace then dutifully lifted her head to watch Francisco while he showed her the newest biotic trick he’d learned from Jack.  She smiled through the pain. “My clever little boy.”

“I’m not little.” Francisco protested with a frown.  “You okay, mom?”

“Just tired.” She waved him back over to his designated practice area.

_So tired._

Four weeks after finally finding Felix, Harlow had run herself to the ground beyond the point of exhaustion.  Her husband was still recovering from his injuries.  Uncle Steven and her dad were focused on trying to keep the Alliance and humanity from descending into chaos while Uncle Z worked to corral some of the mercenary groups that had survived the war. 

The _Normandy_ crew had been spread far and wide. Vega worked closely with _Admiral_ Hackett mostly for security reasons.  Steve had been assigned to work with the promoted Admiral Jacques Durand much to Vega and Harlow’s amusement.   The rest of her friends were who knows where trying to rebuild their world.

With everyone else occupied, Harlow had moved into one of the few Alliance housing units undamaged by the war.  Francisco and Felix took up the majority of her time.  She still managed to devote several hours a day to fixing up damaged vehicles, ships and weapons for the Alliance.  She usually worked on them at a garage a few blocks from their little apartment, close enough to run home if her son or husband needed her for anything.

And they always did.

She hadn’t sketched anything in far too long.  Her brain practically vibrated with the compulsion to create.  Her fingers itched to start working on something—anything really.  Her sketchbook was unfortunately still on the _Normandy_ which her Uncle had command of at the moment.

“MOM!”  Her son’s shrill demand coincided with a softly spoken call from Felix, “Princessa?”

And to her utter shame, Harlow snapped for the first time in her entire life.  She threw the paper in her hands across the room then fled as quickly as her shaky legs could carry her.   She went until she reached a park about a mile from their quarters.

Collapsing on a fallen tree, Harlow buried her face in her hands and tried to regain some semblance of calm.  It was just all so _very_ overwhelmingly tiring.  Everyone had become justifiable wrapped up in picking up the pieces after the war, but no one seemed to understand she was starting to fall to pieces herself.

She’d kill for a nap.

Or help.

Help would be good.

Harlow tried desperately to ignore the guilt flooding her at having left in a huff. Felix _could_ take care of himself and their son for a few minutes—or ever hours.  He wasn’t completely bed-ridden.  At eight, Francisco was capable of helping his father as well.

_So why did she still feel so guilty?_

“Harlow?”

She lifted her head to find Mathis crouched in front of her.  She’d been so lost in thought that he’d managed to sneak up on her.  She shifted down on the tree to make room for him.  “I ran away.”

“So I gathered when Felix called me in a panic.  You’ll be pleased to know your Uncle Z is taking him to task.” Mathis grabbed her arm to keep her seated. “I was joking.  Your Uncle’s not even on Earth at the moment.  So tell me what sent you fleeing for the hills?”

Harlow wilted into herself with her shoulders hunching forward. “I’m so damn tired, Dad.”

He wrapped his arm around her shoulders.  “We owe you an apology.”

“I’d rather have a nap.” Harlow attempted to get to her feet only to find Mathis holding her still. “Is there something else on your mind?”

“Why didn’t you ask for help?”

Harlow picked at the threads of her frayed black jeans and shrugged. “We’re still trying to put the Alliance back together.   There are bigger priorities.”

“Are you ten again?”

“Huh?”

“Where is all this nonsense coming from?” Mathis twisted slightly so they were facing each other. His fingers coming up to capture her chin to stop her from looking away. “What other priority do you think I have? You’re my daughter.  What priorities do you think your uncles have that would be more important than you?”

“The Alliance.”

“Zaeed Massani doesn’t give a damn about the Allliance.” He let his hand fall away from her chin. “You do understand that I’d drop anything to help you, right?”

“Yeah.”

Mathis sighed very deeply at her despondent shrug. “Would you mind terribly if I broke your Uncle Steven’s jaw?”

“ _Dad.”_

“Is that a yes or no? I’m taking it as a yes.” He stood up then turned to pull her up with him.  “Your uncles should be at your apartment by now.”

“You called them?”

“Would I voluntarily call your uncles?” Mathis took her hand and looped her arm through his while they walked.

“For me? Yes, you would.”

“Oh the sacrifices I make for you.” He reached into his pocket to pull out a small notebook. “I’ve been thinking about how modifications to biotic armour might make them safer and more effective in a fire-fight.”

Harlow skimmed through his notes and sketches, letting Mathis guide her so she didn’t trip on anything. “Interesting idea.”

“I hoped we might make this a father-daughter sort of project.” Mathis caught her when she stumbled over her own feet.  “Might be fun.  Steve and his new _friend_ are going to come entertain your husband and son for an hour or so four days a week.  We will use that hour to work on the project.”

 “We will?” Harlow canted her head to the side to glare at the man. “And how exactly did you convince Admiral Durand to babysit?”

“I have _no_ idea and have no interest in asking your friend what deviant behaviour he engaged in to coerce Durand into agreeing.” Mathis laughed when she swatted him with his notebook. “I know you hate people planning your life.”

“True.”

He reached into his jacket pocket again and pulled out a small box. “I have a chocolate truffle to beg for forgiveness.”

“Felix’s idea?”

“Francisco’s.”

“Smart boy.” Harlow finally gave a fuller smile as her stress and tension bled away. “Thanks, Dad.”

Their small living room had filled to capacity when Harlow stepped inside with Mathis close behind.  Her uncles, Steve and Felix were all lined up on the over-sized couch.  Francisco appeared to be entertaining them with a biotic juggling act.  She made a mental note to talk to Jack about _useful_ things to teach her son.

“Mom?” Francisco abandoned the balls to race over to collide with his mother.   Mathis’ arm went out to keep her on her feet.  Her son tilted his head up to give her his _saddest_ , most sorrowful face. “I’m sorry, Mommy.”

Harlow knelt in front of him and drew him into a hug. “No, Francisco, I’m sorry. Mommy should’ve taken better care of herself and asked for help.”

“Goddamn right.”

Harlow glared at Zaeed over her son’s head. “Uncle Z.”

“Grandpa Z said a naughty word.”

“Maybe we should make him stand in the corner?” Harlow ruffled Francisco’s hair then stood up, her hands still resting on her son’s shoulders.  She glanced between the four men in the room. “I have the distinct feeling we’ve done this once before.”

“Princessa.” Felix stood carefully and took measured steps across the room.  He framed her face gently with his hands, allowing his thumbs to caress her freckled cheeks.  He leaned in for a kiss while they both ignored the ‘ew’ from their son who was squashed between them. “Quiet, mijo, you’ll understand one day.”

“Ew. Gross.” Francisco wiggled out from between them and ran over to Mathis who swung him up on his shoulders with a chuckle.

“Te quiero mucho.” Felix murmured against her lips.  “Can you forgive me?”

“Can’t I shoot him just this once? I’d feel much more forgiving after a bullet in his ass,” Zaeed grumbled.

“Poppet.” Hackett waved a hand to silence his still muttering husband. “Why didn’t you message us?”

“The Alliance…”

“Damn the Alliance.” Hackett shot to his feet with frustration clear on his face.

“Ooo. Grandpa Steven said a bad word.  He _never_ says bad words.” Francisco whispered loudly to Mathis who chuckled in response.

Hackett strode across the room and eased Harlow away from Felix and into a bone-crushing hug.  His hand came up to rest gently on the back of her head. “I’ve sacrificed many things for my career and the Alliance and you unintentionally fell into that category more times than I care to admit.”

“Unintentionally?” Mathis scoffed.

Harlow reached up to cover Hackett’s mouth before he could retort then glared at Mathis. “Not in front of my son. Is that clear?”

A stern, but amused glance at Felix silenced his whispered chant of ‘fight, fight, fight.’ Harlow dropped her hand from her uncle’s face, but found he refused to release her from his embrace.  She wound her arms around him and waited patiently for whatever Hackett clearly felt needed to be said.

“My family is my priority. I _will_ prove it to you.”  Hackett rested his chin on top of her head, arms tightening ever so slightly.  She heard a series of muted chuckles and wondered if he were glaring at Mathis or vice-versa.

“Uncle Steven?”

“Hmm?”  His delayed response told her that the two men had indeed been engaged in a silent, but no less intense argument.

“I don’t _need_ proof of your love and care.” Harlow eased herself back enough to pin first Hackett then Mathis with a pointed stare. “Please stop with the unnecessary guilt trips. My uncles love me.  They raised me and like any parent made mistakes.  They love me just as much as you do.  I don’t need proof that Uncle Steven loves me.  I’ve been his daughter long enough to know it.”

When Mathis’ face fell and her Uncle Steven smirked, Harlow for the briefest of moments felt like smacking both of them upside the head.  She caught both men by the hand instead forcing them to stand close to her.  A nod of her head had Felix taking Francisco from his grandpa’s shoulders and leading him out of the room.  It was beyond past time for the three father-figures in her life to put aside their differences.

Well.

Two of them.

Uncle Z didn’t care one way or another as long as he was part of their lives.

She led the men back over to the couch and shoved them down on it.  She crossed her arms over her chest and glared down at them. “I should make the two of you stand in the corner in time-out for an hour.”

“I’ll give you a hundred goddamn credits if you manage that, Poppet.” Zaeed leapt off the couch to avoid the arm Hackett flung out at his husband.

“I’m exhausted.” Harlow massaged her forehead for a few seconds. “I am so exhausted that I ran out of my house and left my son and still recovering husband alone.  I’ve been so worried about not pulling _you_ three away from your duties and not tipping the balance on the tentative peace between you….I can’t do this anymore.”

“So?” Zaeed prompted after she’d fallen deep into thought. “What do you need me to make the goddamn bastards do for you?”

Her shoulders shook with the force of her laughter at the almost petulant look on the faces of the other two men.  “Uncle Z.”

“Well?”

“I need help. We…my little family needs help.  And you three are Francisco’s grandpas.  All _three_ of you.  So if not for me, than for my son, can’t you forget about goading each other?” Harlow flopped onto the couch next to Mathis and leaned against his side. “I love you, dad.  I can love all three of you equally.”

“We know that, Poppet.”

“Do you?” She glanced first at her Uncle Steven then over at her dad. “Do you both? I’m too exhausted to walk on eggshells anymore. I want to be able to express my care for each of you without worrying about hurting the others feelings.”

“They are deeply sorry, Poppet.” Zaeed winked at her before heading into the kitchen to hunt for one of the beers she kept for whenever he or Steve visited. “We’re taking shifts.”

“Shifts?” She blinked at him in confusion.

“The apartment next to yours is available.  We’ve purchased it and will rotate staying there to help you out.  It allows us to continue the work toward building up the Alliance once again while not neglecting the more important duties of family.” Hackett smiled at Harlow’s massive sigh of relief then held out his hand to Mathis. “For family?”

“Agreed.” Her dad shook hands solemnly with her uncle.

“I give ‘em a week before they crack.” Zaeed saluted her with a beer.

“ _Uncle Z.”_

“Two weeks?”

“I’ve got fifty credits that says they don’t last a month.” Felix called out from the hallway.

Harlow dropped her head into her hands with a groan. “Why do I bother?”

“Because you love us very dearly.”

**Author's Note:**

> Face references:  
> Harlow: http://pixelatrix.tumblr.com/post/77729215447/humanandfriendly-girl-on-we-heart-it
> 
> Harlow as a kid: http://pixelatrix.tumblr.com/post/77957437875
> 
> Felix: http://pixelatrix.tumblr.com/post/77737921336/lovingmalemodels-rafael-lazzini
> 
> Francisco as a boy: http://pixelatrix.tumblr.com/post/79984055241
> 
> Francisco as a teen: http://pixelatrix.tumblr.com/post/79984078569


End file.
